Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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Dear Doctor,

I am a fairly experienced young woman in the bedroom. I started dating my current boyfriend a couple months ago. He is great and we are both crazy about each other. The only thing that comes between us is his ED. We have discussed it and he has bought both a pump and an adjustable cock ring. He is getting hard, but we can't connect. He's never able to penetrate me when he's hard. I noticed that his head is very large, but I've never had a problem with that before. I was wondering if it might be a case of not having enough support. Also, we have been concentrating on him, and not so much me, so I'm afraid I'm not getting aroused enough. Is there a way to keep aroused longer? Is there any advice you can offer?

Thank you,
M

Dear M,

Obviously you need to get turned on too while he's pumping up. I'd have a vibrator on my clit so you can get your own erection which will help facilitate vaginal entry. I always recommend doing using plenty of lube for any kind of penetration. (If you are using latex condoms it has to be water based.) I don't quite understand what you mean by support. If you are referring to his erection, have him hold the shaft of his dick closer to the tip or you do it. Arousal for most women relies on clitoral stimulation and frankly, I suggest each woman be in charge of doing it herself. Who knows better than you what feels good?

I'm assuming you read the essay about the couple who used a pump after prostate removed which results in ED. If not, use our search engine: Sex After Prostate Surgery.

Dr. Betty