Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Hey Dr. Betty-

Oh I wish it were that simple as not coordinating & giving orgasms. To start with, I work from and stay at home and manage the family. Second orgasms used to be plenty when we were having a lot of/a reasonable amount of sex- the waterfalls never ended, we needed plastic beneath. She was a bang, in the shower and raring to go.

Now typically I would imagine that the honeymoon is over theory is a great idea, but she came with a child (I gladly accepted), so we never had that time at all - how nice that must be for others. But when I referred to myself as the Lamborghini I really wasn't trying to be full of myself. This has been since 14y/o. Just a sex machine willing to try all for the love pleasure. Experience seriously, more than average and hers is quite less than average. She just seems (and has said it) to think of sex as a mating/reproductive function more so than a wild, passionate release of feelings and your inner fantasies. Is that really possible? Can folk just have little to no drive? I view sex as more of a primal-like desire to use our bodies to delve into a world of pure pleasure, sharing and allowing the inner everything our minds can create to run wild. Typically aren't women building so to speak for a number of years to come.

Dr Betty, I am an explorer and it seemed she was similar for a couple of years, but it is like that is gone. If this is the case for many men how can they stand it. I love intimacy and contact- not a pal. Two kids have me grounded so to speak, indefinitely, kids need a family. I have suggested counseling and have gotten a really negative response. Doc what can I do to help her find this or is this a lost cause? What sucks though is in the meantime I feel very lonely, unloved and unwanted. Still I am trying and not a quitter and hate the thought of leaving, etc. it hurts me even more.

Sincerely,

Feeling unwanted

Dear Feeling Unwanted,

Man up! You've got to stop feeling lonely and sorry for yourself and stop comparing your current sex situation with how it was in the beginning. Yes, there is such a thing as a person who is NOT interested in having partnersex, especially women after they've had children. Some of us have a high sex interest like you and me while others are only mildly engaged. If the truth be told, more marriages are exactly like yours rather than marriages with ongoing sexual passion. What's wrong with filling in with some hot masturbation? Your other options are what I said, divorce, cheating or acceptance of your situation. Welcome to the harsh world of reality.

Betty