Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Dear Dr. Betty,

My husband looks at beautiful women and porn a lot on the internet. We have a normal sex life. I'm 65 years old and attractive for my age and do just about everything sexual with him. He'll even look at women and porn after we have had sex. I'm insecure about this. I'm talking more than once a day. I told him I wouldn't spy on him any more but I can't help it!!

Dear Ella,

I get this question a lot. One way to view your husband's use of porn is to be glad he's just looking at pictures rather than going out looking to get laid. You might search for your own source of erotica, pictures or words that you find exciting and that turn you on. Men are very hooked on visual images while we usually prefer words. Feeling insecure will only add to your compulsion of spying. We cannot compare our older selves to images of young women who have been made over to be porn stars for men's entertainment. A similar analogy would be feeling jealous of beautiful women who are movie stars. I suggest you focus more on the relationship you're having with yourself. Get a new vibrator, collect some hot fantasies and start having a love affair with yourself. Then continue to enjoy the sexlife you're having with your husband.

Betty