Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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Dr. Betty,

I've been sexually curious and masturbating since I was about 12. I'm 22 now and just recently learned how to give myself an orgasm. I have a serious boyfriend now and we enjoy sex often; he is patient and giving and wants to give me orgasms. The problem is that he doesn't really excite me or turn me on - I never orgasm with him.

The only time I get really aroused these days is when I watch porn (mostly lesbian) and when I am fantasizing by myself.
Do you have any advice on how I can try to enjoy sex more with my boyfriend? I'm not sure if I'm not attracted to him, if I should try to experiment with women, or if we're just not open enough with each other or doing something wrong.

Dear A,

Since this is a new relationship, I suggest you don't get too serious and give yourself time to date other men and by all means include women. If you do want to explore more with him, take control of the situation. How you masturbate needs to be incorporated during penetration sex. Vaginal penetration alone rarely brings a woman to orgasm especially if you're not all that turned on by him. Get my book "Orgasms for Two" it deals directly with this situation. Our twenties is a time to explore our sexuality and since you can masturbate to orgasm, you can be sexually satisfied while experimenting. Have fun and play safe!

Dr. Betty