Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I'll start by saying that I personally am a 20 year old male that has been dating my girlfriend for over 2 years now. The first time we dated for just under a year, there was nothing physical beyond kissing, and even our first kiss took 6 months. The second time around, we both lost our virginity and became very sexual for about a month. After that, It died down to a once or twice a month level. This was about 6-8 months ago.

Since then, Our sex has constantly got better. I stumbled across this site while looking for a bit of an answer. My girlfriend, who never masturbated much, has never felt an orgasm. I personally get her close, but having never given one to another, could not be for sure where that line lies, and furthermore, she doesnt seem to know either. In our most recent time, I believe she reached orgasm during oral because of muscle spasms in the hip area. Upon asking her, she was "unsure".

The real question is not on that however, but rather what happens afterward. Immediately afterward she got a very uncomfortable feeling, which she said was similar to when you work out and your legs are very very tired. I dont believe she reached a full orgasm personally based on what I read, but could be wrong. After about a 3-5 minute break, we continued on with sex, which was about the same as normal for both, and then sat and cuddled afterward for many hours, eventually falling asleep (she had no intention of staying the night, it just got too late).

My questions are 2-fold, firstly, is there any tell-tale signs of orgasming, and are there varying strengths of it. secondly, after an orgasm, many men tend to feel very sensitive, do women get the same way, and could this feeling be what she experienced. Lastly, after a smaller orgasm, will continuing action despite this feeling turn to pleasure and create a stronger orgasm?

A

Dear A,

Bless your heart for asking such explicit questions and thinking about your girlfriend's pleasure. She really needs to start masturbating alone and exploring her body to discover what's going on sexually. There is no sure way for you or even her to tell whether or not she's had an orgasm during partner sex if she doesn't know how to do it for herself.
After a woman has an orgasm, her clitoris is hypersensitive. Back off for a few moments. And while most women stop at that point you can continue with a lighter touch away from the clitoris. The clitoris needs a few moments to recover and then you can continue with stimulation.

It's really about women experimenting with their own bodies and sharing that information with their partners. Gift her my books Sex For One or Orgasms For Two. It sounds to me like you'll be sharing happy orgasms in no time!

Dr. Betty