Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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dear betty & carlin,

my five year old daughter has no inhibitions about touching herself, rubbing her clit, etc. i do ask her to stop when she's on the couch, in full view, watching cartoons as she needs to know that touching oneself is better done in private (her bedroom, the bathroom). last night, while in the shower she discovered that the shower head feels good. in her words "it tickled my peepee and i liked it."my husband wasn't sure what to say but it was time to get dried off anyway, so he just asked her to come out of the shower. both myself and my husband want our daughter to have a positive image of herself and a positive view of her sexuality. what can we say to her that will encourage her self-exploration and yet keep the conversation developmentally appropriate for a five year old? i want her to develop a good relationship with her pussy, but i can't talk to her like she's twenty either, do you know what i mean? thanks for the help!

Dear Mom,

The way you've handled your five year old girl so far is just fine. The message is clear. Mommy knows how good that feels but it's something we do in private. According to what you've already said, she's knows playing with her clitoris is a private activity. As for Dad and the shower head, it was time to get dried off anyway. You really don't have to say or do anything differently than how you've been handling everything so far. Congratulations on raising a sexually healthy and happy little girl. You are doing great!

Dr. Betty