Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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Dear Betty,

I am 50 and divorced. I have had two marriages that just nearly killed me. I met this woman shortly after the breakup of my marriage and she became a good friend. She is 36 and quite petite (5'2"), I am a big guy (220lbs - 5' 10"). She has asked me, in a round about way, to have sex with her. She says she isn't getting any and asks if I am. I am not looking for a serious relationship and don't think she is either.

I enjoy masturbating. In my first marriage I did not masturbate for quite a few years but it became necessary to cope with the sexual neglect. At first I felt really ashamed. I then realized how much I enjoyed it, so why feel guilty. In bed with my wife, I would wait till she nodded off, take off all the covers (I slept in the nude) and masturbate hoping she would awake and catch me so that she would be aware of what I was doing. She slept like a log and never woke up.

My second wife never had a man masturbate in front of her and asked if I would. I did not hesitate. She did not condone me doing it without her. So when I went out of town I would play with myself for hours and looked forward to the next trip. She seemed to realize how much I liked it and of course I admitted that I did. Now that I am by myself, I have no restrictions except my daily responsibilities.

I was coming home from work early one afternoon and just could not get it out of my head. I could not take it any longer and in an elevated erotic state asked my new friend to watch me. I approached her by telling her that I had something to show her and asked that she follow me into the bedroom. When we got there, I took off my pants and exposed my erection to her. She thought I wanted to fuck her and she chuckled and said she didn't have time for this now. I said, "I don't want anything from you. Just watch me." She did and while I masturbated I confessed that I did it on a regular basis and would tell her whenever I did it. She did not like me reporting to her so I stopped.

It appears that this petite girl wants to have sex with me and be my fuck buddy. It has finally got thru to me and it seems quite exciting. I want to ask her to masturbate with me first. I think it would be a wonderful way to begin a sexual relationship. She may see that I might be too large for her ( I am 7" and told that I was thick). To observe my prowess in this way would be less awkward than in the passion of intercourse. We could really learn about each other by watching how we touch ourselves. I have been masturbating off and on a long time and don't want to stop ever again. Masturbating and loving my self is very important to me and it will be a part of my sexual life from now on. But I don't want to be crude or offend when I ask her. Any suggestions?

Dear Friend of Sex,

I support your desire to share masturbation with your new petite fuck buddy! As for suggestions, you can get either or both of my books where I go into details describing my experiences of sharing masturbation with a lover. It's the best way to start a sexual relationship if both parties are willing. I'm with you 100%. Never give up masturbation for anyone.

Happy O's,
Betty