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How Can I NOT Perpetuate Sexism?

Fri, 05/08/2009 - 16:07
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello, recently I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to perpetuate sexism anymore in my life. I realized that my sexism has effectively disconnected me with a large part of humanity (women) to my detriment and women's. The only problem is that I don't know how. A lot of things are obvious in regards to if I want to respect women but some other things I'm not quite sure. Would staring at a woman's butt or breasts be a sexist action or a neutral one since women are capable of doing the same with men in regard to other physical attributes? Is fantasizing about friends that are women, is it denigrating and does it objectify them? Is there a difference between beauty appreciation and crude sexual lust? Like I could describe a women as stunning or just as some one I'd like to have sex with, is this insulting, objectifying? Please let me know how I can better myself and become a more humane, just and a logical human being.

Thanks LS

Dear LS,

Bless you my Dear Man for actually giving this some thought. Personally I dislike the word "sexism" and would prefer misogyny which is the hatred, fear or mistrust of women. Leave "sex" out of it. So looking instead of staring at a woman's butt or breasts would be recommended. Fantasizing about your women friends is not denigrating nor does it objectify them to my way of thinking. Appreciation of a persons beauty is fine but why call sexual desire "crude sexual lust?" Wanting to have sex with a particular woman is perfectly okay if you avoid being too pushy. In your effort to be more aware of how you and our society puts down women, don't go overboard. Basic common sense would indicate some women like some men are losers. Keep a sense of humor along with your new awareness.

Dr. Betty

 

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It's good to hear

Sat, 05/09/2009 - 19:25
Anonymous User (not verified)

It's good to hear this......some years ago, while talking to a woman I was on ok terms with, at one point my mind wandered, and I had one of those moments where I stared at her figure for a little too long, although I wasn't really lusting after her, but just a short lapse on my part. Soon thereafter she wouldn't speak to me, and obviously was put off- not that I blame her. But I feel so stupid when I think about it now. When things like that happen, you do need a little soul searching, and I've felt occasional guilt about it every now and then, especially when you might think about stupid things you've done and how some people might think of you because of it-but it happens.

I Thought This Was an Interesting One

Miss Moonlight's picture
Sun, 05/10/2009 - 06:15
Miss Moonlight

                 I like things that make you pause for thought and should like to add a few comments.  I think, for example, it is OK to look at say someone's breasts (breasts are pretty after all) but to stare is definitely not OK.  It can at best make a women feel uncomfortable or even threatened (say on a dark night in a quiet street).  I think it's best to try and consider actions from the point of view of the woman concerned.

Other examples of what I find uncomfortable are deliberate and non subtle attempts to look up my skirt or when you have someone pressed up against you, say on a crowded bus, I do not want to feel a stranger's erect penis pressing into me uninvited (and yes, quite a few do this), but on a dance floor with someone, well that's completely different as I often want to be that close to the person concerned.  If I choose not to I can pull away.

I hope this has given you food for thought.

Cuddles, x

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