Guys Say My Clitoris is Too Big

Betty Dodson's picture
Thu, 08/20/2009 - 19:26
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey, I'm 20 yrs old. I been feeling really self concious about my vagina or clit in particular. I have been told by a few sex partners that my clit is "huge"...Im too embarrassed to ask my GYN. But it pisses me off/hurts my self esteem when guys say this to me.. Do you think I should get that surgery?

What do you think I should do, if anything?


Dear Self Conscious,

I think you should educate yourself about female sexuality. Your vagina is the birth canal. So I suggest women use the term vulva when referring to our sex organs. There is no surgery that can reduce the size of your clitoris unless you want it removed which is called "Female Genital Mutilation". This is done to young women in some (Muslim) countries so they will not experience pleasure from orgasms.

You may be referring to your inner lips. There is information all over the website about this stupid unnecessary and possibly dangerous procedure. They are also part of our arousal as they fill up with blood and get erect when we are turned on. If you are indeed referring to your clitoris, I suggest you consider what a guy would think if he had a large penis? Trust me, he would take great pride in it. Why are so many women the victim of every man's opinion? Time for you to grow up and take control of your life. Look at the vulva drawings on the site or in my book "Sex for One." Go to our genital art gallery and observe the vast variation in our sex organs.

Dr. Betty

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Clit too big

Fri, 08/21/2009 - 03:04
Anonymous User (not verified)

I've had the exact same thing said to me before and have become so incredibly self-conscious about it! I wish it was never pointed out to me because until it was i thought I looked like every other woman out there. People were always talking about "how to find the clitoris" and i was always like-"what do you mean its right there!" . My clit is visible at all times and it is not hidden from view like most women appear to have. That said, we can't both be freaks of nature right? It has to be a normal variation. Ive spent so much time worrying that i was part-male or something but you know what? We are just hot sexy women with a normal vulva and there is just nothing wrong with that. i have always wanted to ask my GYN too but anytime ive gone to her she has never told me that there was anything wrong with the way i look down there. There is nothing wrong with me, there is nothing wrong with you. I think these men are just not educated and clearly haven't seen enough of real women in their lives to know what is abnormal and what isnt. You are not the only one out there who looks like this. i look just like you. I am 100% female, and so are you. It can make you self-conscious I know that, but its time to stop worrying and next time a guy says that to you let him know how lucky he is to see your beautiful naked self in the first place and that if he thinks anything about you looks out of the ordinary than he better educate himself on his way out the door!

Know Thyself

tom.penry's picture
Fri, 08/21/2009 - 13:26

This aphorism was inscribed on the entrance to Plato's Academy 2400 years ago. Students at the Academy learned "The unexamined life is not worth living". You are who you are. Anthropology, Sociology and Psychology cannot yet give us the knowledge of ourselves we have sought over the millenia.

That said: In the dating game I have found at my age(67)I live in a world of active women and barely surviving men. [So many women, so few who are intelligent]{I am the same age at Rene Angelil, 41 year-old Celene Dion's husband, and he just sired a child with her} Take Betty's advice:Do not get this surgery. Throw away any ideas you have about a man's looks. Is his brain big? In the end, its high IQ men that matter. Dr. and motion picture divorces make the headlines, but these [And family abandonment]are, statistically, concentrated heavily in educationly underserved communities.]

A man or woman may have a different point of view than yourself. I enjoy this site, but I am, like George Tiller, not an atheist. There is a man out there who will drool over you, He is the one to undress for, to bathe with, and make your life together a romp. You are much more likely to find him in the medical school library than a bar.

See me and my story in the Art Gallery:

Men Are Not Experts On This!

Miss Moonlight's picture
Sat, 08/22/2009 - 00:12

I would quite like to have a larger clitty myself.

Sadly I think you have met the wrong men. For starters, men are not experts on this; exactly how many have most got close up to and what do they know about the "normal"?  The clitty is unique because, as far as I can see, its one and only function is for pleasure and providing it is performing that function....

The key issue is that they can find it!

I'm a lot older than you.  Over the years I have had men wanting me to do various things which I chose not to do.  For example, wear short skirts, grow my pubic hair (I prefer to be clean shaven) and even objected to me going topless on the beach because they didn't want other men seeing my breasts.  I could have changed on all these things to please them but I chose not to.

In your case you cannot sensibly change this.  Look in the gallery as suggested, see the variations, enjoy being yourself and enjoy yourself.

Best wishes and take care.

Big clit=lucky men!

Sat, 08/22/2009 - 02:37
Witness (not verified)

How extremely insensitive of them and what dolts you must be meeting!

Listen to Tom, I have yet to find anything sexier than an intelligent guy I can hold a conversation with and engage in mental, physical, and yes spiritual play! These guys are found in medical libraries, are writers, or are other people who can securely spend lot's of time in their own heads and can make you consumed with desire for them before you really even know them! They are not focusing on their bodies pretty boys and certainly not superficial enough to criticize a woman about her clitoris!

Sorry this is my bandwagon here not because I have ever been told that mine is too big - I haven't. I just have that anatomical structure that when the hood is retracted mine is way out there. Besides my brain - for me it is the biggest pleasure sensor my body has and I like it that when I choose to show it to someone and they are arousing enough that it stands out proudly announcing its presence as if to say to the guy "I am here for you, you won't have any trouble finding me, and I expect that you will treat me as I deserve."

Perhaps they were just intimidated and didn't really know what to do with it. The next time a guy says that to you I would suggest remarking back to him. "and aren't you the lucky one because it wants you to play with it tonight". In my personal opinion if they are not immediately turned on by this and put their head between you legs to find out how much pleasure a large clitoris can provide TO THEM the decent thing and put them out of their self-imposed misery (which you don't need) and kick them straight to the curb!

I didn't mean to sound so militant it's just that it is a very stupid man that would make a remark like that! Did they ever expect a return engagement after saying something like that?

I know, who am I to say since my pic is not posted but... Come on men why would you ever say to a woman her clitoris is too big?? I have got to hear this!

big clits

Mon, 08/31/2009 - 13:35
Anonymous User (not verified)


Dental Dam for Oral Sex

Sun, 09/06/2009 - 16:38
Anonymous User (not verified)

I have been in a committed relationship for 18 years and it recently ended. I never had to worry about STD's. Now that I'm "going back on the market" I have a question about Dental Dams. I've read that they are the equivalent to the male condom for oral sex. I understand that the Dental Dam would prevent the man from contracting an STD from the woman, but what protection is offered to the woman? I wasn't aware a person could contract an STD from someones mouth. If the man had an STD and gave oral sex to a woman would she then risk contracting it? And how about the opposite-can a man contract an STD from a woman giving him oral sex without a condom?

Big Clits

coldnsteelpa's picture
Mon, 09/07/2009 - 03:33

Gimme a women with a big cilt anyday That would be allsome...If i was a women i would love to have a big cilt!

I know women that have their hood piercied just to get more feelings for sex and for their own plasure too! Big Cilts are normal injoy it use it play with it be proud of it as well as the rest of your body... Dont let anyone bring you down what they dont think is right ok!!  have fun....

the advantages of a big clitoris

Eric Amaranth's picture
Mon, 09/07/2009 - 13:11

As some people have already commented on, a large clitoris is easy to find, and more importantly, easier for your partner to keep track of it during sexplay of all kinds. I had to log in quite a few hours of experience learning how to keep track of a woman's clitoris while rubbing it during intercourse and finding the right spot if my hand is going down the front of her panties or body. Common-sized clits are more challenging that way. A large clit makes finding and doing intricate things to it very easy. It's definitely an advantage.

Here's a more advanced version of what I'm talking about. I very often encounter the issue during oral sex on a woman where a favorite way of keeping her clit isolated under my tongue is via sucking her clitoris just inside my mouth and behind the back sides of my front teeth. I hold suction and let my tongue do its thing. It can do a larger variety of techniques when I do this than when I don't hold suction and use my tounge tip like a finger. When I try to slide toys or multiple fingers into her vagina, it makes holding that position and suction more difficult to impossible because her clit is simply too small. I will at times pull up on her mons to raise her clit higher, but that's not always successful. If her clit was bigger, I could add penetration and keep my strongest oral sex clit stim going at the same time.

The other reason why men have issues with a clit's size is they go into a psychology where they think it looks like a little penis. If they go there and can't handle it, then I agree, time to find a man who doesn't care or lusts for it like our anonymous commenter above and coldnsteelpa. that's when it feels amazing to get a beloved who worships some part of your sex organ and/or body. I have lust in me for big clit too! That said, I'm not a size-queen either, meaning I am not interested in women without a big clit. I love how big and hard they get in my mouth, love to feel them growing, and I appreciate how I can more easily pull off certain advanced sexual acts.

If you're interested in seeing a really large clitoris, research Vanessa del Rio online. She's an adult star with the biggest clit that I'm aware of. See folks? Like Betty said, there are different sized penises, clitorises, and vaginal depths. Understanding the strengths of every variety is the key.

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What An Amazing Gift

Tue, 09/08/2009 - 17:44
Eric in Colo (not verified)

I'm sorry that you've had such unfortunate experiences with guys that dont appreciate your larger clitoris. I have no doubt in my mind that it is the young age of the guys that you've been seeing.

You should embrace the anatamy that you have and think about seeing a little more mature man who would greatly embrace the gift of your clitoris.

Big Clitoris or Clitoral Hood?

Thu, 09/10/2009 - 09:31
Anonymous User (not verified)

I was told that my clit is abnormally large by a man I was with once, and it did make me incredibly self-conscious ever since then. But researching it myself recently, I think he had it wrong and maybe I've been thinking it wrong since then, but I'm not sure. I think my clitoral hood might be what he thinks is so large, bc what I think is the actual clitoris that is under the hood is tiny and smaller than a pencil eraser. Is the hood the clitoris? Or when people refer to clitoris are they referring to what is actually under the hood? I've thought since then that I've had this weird protruding clit, but really the only thing that is always visible on my body is the clitoral hood. Does that mean my clit is protruding or I just have a more prominent hood? I'm so confused about this and I feel like female anatomy has never been clearly marked for anyone.

Big Clits are GREAT!

Sun, 09/13/2009 - 18:52

I'm a proud owner of one, and while there was a time I thought I was too masculine or maybe had too much testosterone (blood test showed totally "normal" levels for a woman), and I have sometimes identified with the intersexed, eventually I accepted that I'm a well endowed woman in many ways.
I agree with Betty that we should accept ourselves and celebrate our bodies and genitals no matter what their appearance.
I happen to also be multi-orgasmic and a squirter ("female ejaculation"), part of which I attribute to my having begun doing Kegal exercises since age 9 (when I read about it in my mother's Cosmopolitan magazine!).
Anyway, it was suggested that a certain adult star (Vanessa del Rio) was well endowed clitorally. I looked up her pics and found them to show a much, much smaller clitoris than I've seen when I've googled the topic.
Also, female bodybuilders, especially those who take anabolic steroids, are known to have significantly larger clitorises. You can search this, as well as one of the more popular ones who also branched out into the adult entertainment field. Her name is Denise Masino and she flaunts her large clitoris and bills herself as "the most well endowed woman on the net".

Have fun celebrating your big beautiful clit!

With Pleasure,

Amrita Waterfalls aka Cassendre Xavier

safe sex and dental dams

Eric Amaranth's picture
Mon, 09/14/2009 - 15:58

 Yes, it is possible to transmit certain STD's through unprotected oral sex, giving and receiving.

The way I use a dental dam is as follows:

The woman receiving oral sex from me secures the top two corners of the latex dental dam with her hands. I secure the bottom two corners with mine. All four corners are held in place so that the dental dam does not slip out of the way in the passion of the moment. I advise against saran wrap. I remember tasting a woman's menstrual blood through it, just barely, one time and I have avoided it ever since. Go online to and purchase latex dental dams there.

I dont advise using cut open condoms either because they dont cover enough surface area and accidents can happen when it slips out of place. Have your dental dams like you have your condoms. If you are going to use a cut open condom, make it a female condom. It's big enough to cover the area you need to stay reliably safe. You can get free female condoms at many state-funded STD testing clinics. Female condoms are expensive. Take em when they're free!


Eric Amaranth's Blog

Eric Amaranth's Bio and Feature Article in Marie Claire Magazine.

Contact Eric for a sex life coaching consultation

To set up a sex coaching consultation via phone, call 1-866-877-9676.

Follow Eric Amaranth on Twitter

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Love Your Big Clit

Andrew E.'s picture
Thu, 09/17/2009 - 15:24

I was saddened and really appalled to read of your big clit being questioned/criticized by seemingly dumb and dull men. It's hard to conceive these dinosaurs are still around, but I know they are; you can hear their ignorant, mindless articulations in almost any bar. It's a dead cert, that you've been with men who felt threatened or even scared by your sexy big clit.

I'm glad so many members have offered reassuring information for you on this site. So I will just suggest you visit and read these two informed and informing websites:

The first is a clitoris educational site and the second is similar for both large (delicious!!) labia and clits of all shapes and sizes

Seeing is believing, they say and I'm sure if you view the pics and read the information you will start to understand you have been truly blessed and feel confident and proud of your vulva again.

You need to find men who, like me and others on this site, would drool and cherish your sexy clit. I used to have a girlfriend who had quite a long pointed clit and she used to love to pull the hood hard back and push the tip into the eye of my cock while it was oozing pre-cum. She used to say she was fucking me back and loved to cum off doing it while I held my cock steady and finger fucked her.

Hope that wets your appetite for a whole bunch of delicious fun and a whole new relationship with your clitty. When you come to accept your body completely and love it totally, you will attract men who reflect that back to you. Up until now you've attracted men who have reflected doubts about your beauty, even if it seems your their criticism came first. In other words when you love your clit; the world will love your clit, and should you ever get such a dumb dude again you will laugh and tell him to piss off; he's out of his class!

Happy orgasms and wonderful new enlightened lovers to you


Love all of your self; Your Self is All That Is

I've Had Similar Experiences From Guys

nanook's picture
Fri, 09/18/2009 - 12:41

I've had similar experiences. I've had guys be totally disgusted at the way my pussy looks, have been criticized too. Been told that I should get surgey to make it look prettier, and so forth. It took me awhile for me to accept the way my pussy looks is the way she looks. Now I am over that hang up and love the way my pussy looks. She's my best friend, never lets me down. and she's always there when I need her. My Pussy is beautiful and I love her.

Large Clits with Steroid Use

Mon, 09/21/2009 - 17:59
Anonymous User (not verified)

This is directed at Amrita Waterfalls aka Cassendre Xavier. I read your comment about Vanessa Del Rio. Vanessa has a larger clit because she used Steroids during her porn career. If you want to see the difference it made for her, find some of her older late 70's films and then compare them to her 80's films. You will see a big difference in her clit size.

So actually, any woman who would like a larger clit could have one by limited use of testosterone (probably 1 or 2 shots), the only downside being that it might also deepen your voice. It takes very little testosterone to make the clit size change happen, just as it takes very little estrogen to cause a man to start to grow breasts.

Betty and I love Buck Angel

Tue, 09/22/2009 - 08:36

Betty and I love Buck Angel - a she to he that used testosterone to grow an amazingly huge clit.

Betty and I love Buck Angel - a she to he that used testosterone to grow an amazingly huge clit.

"most people are fools, most authority is malignant, God does not exist, and everything is wrong" Ted Nelson

larege clit

Sun, 10/11/2009 - 07:06
Marc (not verified)

I am bisexual so you having a large clit is an extreme turn on, its almost like have a man and a women together its all too HOT :)

Large clit

Sun, 10/11/2009 - 11:06

I'm male so I cannot claim to be expert regarding clits. However, I have had some experience with both large, small, and in-between clits, and I prefer them big. One lady with which I had an extended affair was blessed with a clit that was the size of my thumb. Boy, was she Clitoral. It was easy to find, easy to massage, and she really enjoyed it. I could even feel it during intercourse. Needless to say, she was multi-orgasmic and a really fun sex partner.

I also had an extended affair with a lady with a very small clit. She was hard to bring to orgasm and it never happened during intercourse or while using my fingers. She could climax easily with a vibrator and occasionally come with oral stimulation, but she was never multi-orgasmic. I noticed that during oral sex, she would pull up on her mons to get more clit exposure. Despite her lack of orgasms, she seemed to enjoy sex. She was a great looking gal and fun to be with, in or out of bed.

I've also been with girls with "intermediate" (normal?) sized clits, some of whom did not want their clits touched except during intercourse, and others that enjoyed all sorts of stimulation.

In short, it takes all kinds, and all kinds are great.

My clit increaesed in size....I wasn't sure if I liked

Fri, 04/16/2010 - 22:11
mrs. g (not verified)

My husband is a I DID try a short cycle of a steroid. I admit within the 2 short weeks, I had noticed my clit increased in size. So, yes, it IS true a shot or two can increase your clit. husband sucks on it like a straw! I've never had a problem of not being able to cum. I can masterbate and cum in prob less than 2 minutes if I want. I am stil learning to appreciate what it looks like only because when we watch porn together all you see are small dainty pretty ones. It's not reality though. Those women are handpicked just for video. There are SO many types and sizes. I have multiple orgasms many of times.

I am still self conscious about it..but luckily I dont have to deal with rude men as you dealt with in making such a reposnse. You are young and I am sure the men you were with were young and dont even have a clue how to please a woman.

in researching myself and reading these comments on this topic, I realize I DO have plenty of orgasms. You are lucky to realize you have one so young. I regret doing what I did to make that happen but I was actually your age when I tried it. 11 years later....I'm accepting. Men will have no problem finding it and you willl make them feel like a king cuz they WILL make you oragasm like no other woman theyv been with! :)

Here's to many more years of phenomenal, long, powerful orgasms for you!

Hi, I appreciate this

Sat, 10/29/2011 - 17:49
Don Cee (not verified)

Hi, I appreciate this response is a few years late, however you should be very very very proud of your big clitoris.  Very few women have them and I perosnally believe large clitoris' are super sexy and super horny.  If a guy complains, then clearly you are with a boy and not a man so simply get up, put your clothes on and leave :):).  If there are any women in the UK that are blessed with a large clitoris please please get in touch lol lol xxxx  

Check your facts

Thu, 11/10/2011 - 09:47
sads (not verified)

Female Genital Mutilation is forbiden in ISLAM.
this practise only exists because culture and tradition have entered the religion in those countries.
the true religion of ISLAM FORBIDS it !
please get your facts straight because you go pointing fingers.
the problem is that in some places you will find that culture and tradition are taken as religion
BUT it should not be so.
ISLAM/ a religion should influence a culture and traditions , NOT the other way around.

I'm with you.

Wed, 12/14/2011 - 14:23
Anonymous2 (not verified)

I am a man and I think a big clit is the preferred state of affairs. The bigger the better. It would be so much easier to find and play with to provide pleasure.

Clit size

Fri, 02/14/2014 - 08:19
Angela Goodnight (not verified)

I think it would be nice to have a larger clit, mine is the size of a frozen pea, although it does enlarge a little during sex. To have something you could actually hold between your fingers seems a dream come true.
If you are actually talking about your inner labia protruding, that shouldn't be a problem either for most men. One problem is that men are watching more porn these days and most of the girls have neat, perfect lips. They are the exception to the rule. Mine are slightly different sizes and one protrudes slightly when I'm unaroused.
The hood of my clit can be seen if I am standing. 
There you go, hope that was helpful. Search my name if you want to message me or read ny true story blog.
All the best,
Angela Goodnight

Well said

Thu, 03/06/2014 - 04:46
Angela Goodnight (not verified)

I also run a sex blog and get horrified by how many girls do not know that their sex organs are called the vulva and the vagina is just the canal from the vulva to the cervix. Nice to see you correcting this ignorance. My fellow blogger did a piece recently on a girl with a large clitoris and she was exceptionally orgasmic. What's not to like about that? He also did one on large labia and, again, she got a lot out of sex. Recently a question asked us about labioplasty and we can't believe that anyone would take such a drastic step with all the inherent risks of infection and loss of sensitivity. We are both campaigners agains FGM also. You might like to search my name to find our blog and if you wish we could arrange mutual links.
Angela Goodnight

As a man; I love big clits!

Sat, 04/12/2014 - 21:55
jdillaismyidol (not verified)

As a man; I love big clits!  I've had two girlfriends that had overly large clits.  We had a lot of fun!  Ladies... There is no shame in your bodies.  Men love women as they come.  Don't be so self conscious because a real man will look at what comes out of your mouth... not what is between your legs or what shape you are.  We love you!  Just like you love us!

My "lil penis"

Sun, 11/23/2014 - 11:49
Fallenangel77 (not verified)

I, too have an exceptionally large clit. An ex lover I was with for some years would refer to it as a tiny penis, he loved it! I never much thought anything of my genetalia much less it to be unattractive. To this day I refer to my clit as my "lil penis" and am more than proud of it! I can orgasm quite easily and obtain multiples like no body's business! (ha! If any man ever said that to me, I'd have asked if he felt threatened that mine was bigger than his;)
Please, just focus on all of the PLEASURE your vulva bring you! I agree with the above posters BTW; big clits rock! I've been told by more than one that my pussy is beautiful:D

So is YOURS! (I've never seen an ugly vulva and I've spent plenty of time "studying" them *laughs* )

BTW this site has really helped me a lot, ladies (and gentleman;). I'm 37 years old and I cannot tell you how far this place has brought me in a very short time!

I'd love to be able to afford the workshop for myself, mother, and my 2 teen daughters...sigh...we shall see at some point. (you don't do "group" rates by chance, Dr. Betty? -smiles-

Correction** FGM is not Islamic practice or belief

Fri, 02/13/2015 - 07:10
Anonymous123 (not verified)

Exactly what I came to the comments to say. Surprised to see a medical doctor making such a fallacious remark. FGM is not an Islamic practice or belief. This is mostly a complicated cultural and tribal issue in Africa.

A "big clit" is like a "big

Fri, 02/13/2015 - 08:26

A "big clit" is like a "big cock" not anything you should feel bad about. :) Since many guys don't even understand a woman's sexual pleasure is centered around her clitoris, having an especially large one can only help them give you your pleasure when you're playing together. :)

Big clits, little clits - they are all great!

Tue, 06/23/2015 - 17:08
Fuzzbuster111 (not verified)

When I was dating a woman with a large clitoris, about the only difference I noticed between her and others during sex is that I could tell when she was getting arroused because her clit would become more prominent.  That was fun!  It was easy to find and fun to play with.  As far as orgasms go, I don't think a large clit determines what kind and how many orgasms a woman will have.  Some women orgasm easily; others take time; some can only orgasm having sex a very specific (to them) way.  Is this physical or psychological - I'm sure it's a combination of both.
Any girl/woman who is worried about what a guy thinks about her clitoris, labia, vagina, vaginal noises, pubic hair color, vaginal secretions, or even odor is way, WAY overthinking what is going through a guy's mind during sex.  A hetrosexual man will think all vaginas are great!  Good sex is much more about how the two people having sex react to one another during sex than it is about what lady parts look like.   And, clitoris size probably had zero to do with that.

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