Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

I'm 23 and unable to orgasm. My story is a little different from most women who cannot orgasm. I've been masturbating my entire life--and that's where I think the problem is. Ever since I can remember, I've been masturbating. When I was little, it was natural for me to keep my hand over my vulva. However, I never orgasmed and didn't really experience sexual pleasure--it was just a comfort. Now, I get no pleasure out of using my hands. The closest I came to an orgasm was after watching lesbian porn and using a vibrator...but it just never happened.

Also, I don't get the same excitement as I did when I was in my early teens. I used to sneak and watch porn and get so excited that my clit would become erect. This never happens anymore. This is so frustrating for me. In general, I find myself to be a sexual person. I love having (safe) sex and am not shy--I'm adventurous and willing to try new things. But if I can't even get myself
off, then what is there?

Dear K,

Get some more lesbian porn and a Magic Wand and keep practicing masturbation. Holding your vulva is not the same as masturbation. Like you said, it was a feeling of comfort so all those childhood years had nothing to do with sexual pleasure. Stop comparing yourself now with your teen years.

Go to First Time Orgasm on our website. Follow my directions implicity as your future orgasms depend on it. Avail yourself of my books and DVD's. Sometimes a picture that's moving is worth a thousand words. Watch your tendency to feel sorry for yourself. If you don't make any progress in a few months, perhaps some short term counseling is in order. Just don't give up.

Dr. Betty