Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I used to always crave sex and get turned on much more than I do now. I love my boyfriend and I am attracted to him. I'm just not in the mood as much. I wish I could feel different but I'm not sure what the problem is. Why?!

Dear L,

You didn't give me much information about your age or the length of time with BF. However, this idea of "being in the mood" is crap. Put a sex date down in your calendar and when the time comes, spend a few minutes stimulating you clitoris and sexual desire will appear.

As we age, our sexual interest changes for a million reasons. Most of us know that the first several months of a new affair is the hottest and then a decline for most couples will follow quite naturally. We are lucky if we can sustain sexual interest over the next two to four years. Masturbation helps and so do sex toys. Fantasy is also beneficial. You'll have to become more creative and question the myth of everlasting love and sexual passion forever.

Dr. Betty

Thanks for the advice!
As for my age and the duration of the relationship, I'm only 20 and we've been together now for almost two years. I used to feel super passionate most of the time, but now not so much. Am I just being lazy?? Maybe it's because his libido's been more awake than mine lately, I don't know. Should we take a small week's break of no sex? What are some ways that I can focus and not worry so much?
Sorry for so many questions.......

-L

Stop being so self-focused. Think about someone or something other than your sex life. Go volunteer to help some needy person or cause. Stop worrying about worrying.