Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Dear Betty,

I'm am 19 years old and I think I have a healthy view of my body for my age, and everyday I become more and more comfortable. I started having sex a year ago with my boyfriend, and we actually moved in with each other around the same time. He is 22 now, but he has only had sex with a few other women. I started masturbating with great success around the same time.

My problem for you is that, while I have no problem orgasming on my own, I have never orgasmed in the presence of anyone, not even my boyfriend of one year- and we have sex all the time. In the beginning I would try to alot, and sometimes my boyfriend says things like, "Are you going to come this time?" or "Why can't I ever make you come?". I love having sex with him, we have it many different ways and in many exciting places and we are equals in the bedroom in every other aspect, but I never feel the same arousal that I equate with orgasm- I only find that through masturbation. We even try masturbating in front of each other, which i find very sexy, but nothing happens.

What can we do to help me reach an orgasm? I realize that this is a very important part of any relationship, and all my research online has lead me to no helpful answers.

Awaiting Your Response,

Kris

Dear Kris,

First boyfriend has to learn that you don't have to come for HIS sake. After all, it's your orgasm and not his. Next time you masturbate together, wear a mask so you can't look at him. And he has to promise to keep his mouth shut. How you masturbate is what you want to do during partnersex. In other words, you control your clitoral stimulation while he focusses on being a good fuck and remembers not to ask, "Are you going to come this time?" That would kill off any impending orgasm. Always has and always will. Guys are just too invested in a woman's orgasm, not for her sake, but for their egos. If he can't keep quiet then gag him.

Dr. Betty