Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Hi Betty!

I am surfing around and searching if there still is any help for me. I am 52, bipolar, and taking Effexor(375mg) and Lamotrigine(200mg) since over 4 years. My condition has really improved and I am living a normal life now. Except ... for what has become such an obsessive subject for me ... the loss of orgasm. If I did'nt have any desire, it would be OK. Regularly I go through phases where this desire for orgasm drives me litteraly crazy!!!

Fortnunately all the scenary that has developped in my mind as time goes by, stays hidden behind my forehead ;-)) I have come back to self pleasuring myself, which I hadn't any more like in my teens. I have read, read, watched movies, read erotica, looked through tons of websites, watched hundreds of pictures with women, listened to audio files of women masturbating, have tried quite a few techniques I hade found out myself, and about which other women give testimony. As my husb is travelling a lot and my kinds all grown and independant I have time jerking around ... I also use sextoys.

I cannot get off my drugs, and I am desperate. I should by now be far ahead mourning for my past sexuality and accepting that it's over with...but rather it get's worse and worse. When I masturbate I can feel some pleasure, make noises etc ... get wet abundantly, but never never again I got to the climax, where everything explodes, and you just feel great, not thinking, just pleasure and well being.

I am each time very frustrated. And cannot really talk too deaply about it with my husband as he has strong religious involvment.

Is there any hope for me? What can I do??? Excition may be? (No, it's a joke !!!)

Dear W,

After four years, ask your doc if he can lower the dosage on the meds. The price everyone pay who are on anti-depressants is loss of orgasms which I'd say is enough to make you depressed. It's a vicious circle. The only thing that I know of that has produced some positive results is using the electric Magic Wand vibrator. You can read my suggestions for the best use of the Wand. Also exercising your pelvic floor muscles by doing you Kegel's is worthwhile. Since your sexuality has been dormant a while, give yourself more time to bring it back. Meanwhile don't push for creating what you used to have. Just appreciate whatever small pleasures you feel.

Dr. Betty