Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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The personal is still political and politics can get damn personal. This past year has been the worst of times and the best of times, a combination of challenges, failures and successes. Politically speaking, whoever made the following statement sums up my feelings about our current administration: Blaming Bush is like blaming Mickey Mouse when Disney screws up. We are living in a Fox News Disneyland where sexless rodents, ducks and talking dogs have become leaders. Adults who believe God created the world in six days and on the seventh day he rested are similar to innocent six-year-olds who love Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy. The big difference is that our six-year olds aren't demanding governmental control over people's sexlives.

The balance to the insanity in Washington continues to be the Internet. I praise the world wide web and believe it's keeping democracy alive. If you love sex, personal freedom, and care about the planet, get on board with truthout.org. They compile the best media has to offer. The best news is that it appears the neocons are beginning to self-destruct under the weight of their own lies. Finally, the word "impeachment' has entered the political arena as a real possibility.

I've also had my share of challenges, failures and successes. Nothing I said last year about producing new videos turned out like I expected. My vision for a teaching video didn't happen. My film crew, Marianna Beck and Jack Hafferkamp of Libido Films, documented me doing private sessions with four individual women. They also got footage of 15 women masturbating so I could show a variety of orgasms in a series of quick cuts. But when I saw the first rough draft, it wasn't what I wanted. I much preferred watching the women masturbating rather than me teaching individual women.

After weeks of agonizing over what to do, I finally announced my decision: We'd put the teaching tape on hold and do an entire video with just masturbating women. Jack had spent months editing the teaching footage, so naturally he was furious and his complaints were valid. I never gave him a clear script although I thought I had, and I changed my mind mid-production. Our collaboration nearly ended, but we managed to pull through with Marianna as our referee. The making and editing of Orgasmic Women: 13 Selfloving Divas was a difficult birth, but like they say, once a woman sees her baby, she forgets about the pain. The creative process is similar.

The new DVD finally came out this past October and I think it's spectacular. Jack did a superb job of editing and Libido Films can be proud to have their name on it. The best part for me was how much I learned from shooting and editing my own DVD . Without realizing it I, the godmother of masturbation, had gotten set in my ways. Okay, I know, I know. For the past thirty-some years I've been saying, "There's no one 'right' way to have an orgasm." But evidently I had unconsciously decided that "my way" was the "right way." Honestly, I wasn't aware of this until the Divas reminded me once again of the vast differences in masturbation styles, clitoral stimulation, vaginal penetration and the huge variety of sex toys available.

When I put out a casting call, I scheduled each woman as she called in sight unseen. They showed up one at a time to be filmed with the instruction to, "Do your own thing." Women who wanted a level of anonymity were given money to buy wigs. Some chose to be nude, others wore bright-colored knee socks or standard thigh-highs. One wore a tank top and another a satin slip. Many had tattoos from subtle to all over, and there was jewelry piercing belly buttons and nipples. The age range was from 21 to 49. Although I wanted an older postmenopausal women, none showed up. But I had a variety of body types from thin to full, large and small titties, and vulvas with different pubic hair styles- nude, shaped and bushy. There was also an ethnic mix ala New York's melting pot. Whenever someone compliments me on choosing an ideal assortment of women, I tell them goddess did the casting.

When it came to sex toys, two had the battery-driven Rabbit Pearl, that in the past, I advised women not to buy. I used to think separating clit stim from vaginal penetration gave a woman more options. But these women loved their Rabbits so I never said a word. I'm even going to start selling the Rabbit in my sex shop. Another woman had an old fashioned gun-shaped electric vibrator that should have been retired years ago. I watched as she enjoyed her orgasm with a toy that made a terrible noise. It didn't bother her one bit. Several women used small battery vibrators, two used myPassionette and only one used the Hitachi Magic Wand, my favorite. For years I've suggested using a wash cloth to soften the vibes, but after I saw her put a sock on her Wand, I've been doing the same ever since.

Most of the divas included vaginal penetration, one used her finger and I was pleased to see that several had discovered my Barbell and it was their favorite dildo. But there were other dildos and everyone used a different kind of lubrication besides the one I prefer. One multi-orgasmic woman showed how she first used popsicle sticks for clitoral stimulation, then graduated to kitchen utensils and smooth rocks. She ended up coming with another one of those awful gun-shaped electric vibrators but I was able to keep my mouth shut. Another women did vaginal penetration with her finger, anal penetration with a butt plug and put two clothespins on her outer labia while she held a battery vibrator on her clit. I'm talking major creative instinct here! 

Last June, Eric and I had our first serious altercation when he started to drive me crazy with his paranoia over the 2257 law. This law has been on the books for some time but it was only recently that Gonzales, our erstwhile attorney general, decided to enforce it. Basically it requires producers of sexual images made since 1995 to have photo ID's of all the models. This elaborate record keeping system is designed to harass the adult industry under the guise of protecting minors. Eric insisted on following the rules to a tee and hired an expensive lawyer who represents the big porn companies in California. We are hardly what you'd call porn producers, but we have to play by the same rules because our fuckless government can't differentiate between sex education and pornography.

For several months, Eric and I were at each other throats off and on. I'm just not used to being around someone who is a stickler for rules. If I hadn't been willing to break thousands of rules, I wouldn't have done half of what I've done as an artist, author or sex educator. In fact you could say my entire life has been based on breaking mankind's stupid rules. I went away for the month of August, and by the time I got back home, Eric and I had both calmed down. In the end, I thanked him for dotting all our I's and crossing the T's. We'd made it through our first major conflict.

After getting a literary agent and dreaming of another fat advance, I spent some serious time doing yet another edit on my sexual memoir. Again the manuscript was rejected by several publishers. I've lost count of the number of rejections I've had so far. The working title this time was Democratic Sex: One Woman's Masturbation Revolution. Maybe if l change it to How I Fucked a Gorilla for the FBI and Found God, some editor will go for it. Meanwhile, Sex for One continues to sell briskly after two major revisions and 18 years in the market place. It's been three years since Orgasms for Two came out and although it hasn't been a blockbuster, the book sells enough copies to keep it in print and then some. As an author I'm grateful.

My website continues to grow with more visitors dropping in every day. As the years rush by, I must say I appreciate Grant more than ever. He's so damn stoic as he struggles on with a disintegrating spine, macular eye degeneration, speech difficulty and constant body pain. He's now living on pain killers. But he never complains. He lives to be the webmaster for bettydodson.com. When I asked him why he never wrote anything about sex before his stroke, he said his writing was too academic. He felt that I had a natural talent for writing like the way people talked. I also had charisma and the courage to be a sex revolutionary so he took me on as his creative project. When I said that had caused one of our biggest problems in this lifetime, he knows that now. But he believes how I turned out was worth all of our conflicts including me constantly trying to get rid of him. Time does heal many emotional wounds.

The end of the year was spectacular so things are looking up. I was in Time Out Chicago to promote a party introducing the new DVD at a sex shop called "Early to Bed." We had a great turn out. When Kim Catrall's Sexual Intelligence documentary came out out on HBO, I went to their opening party where I was greeted by people who loved my contribution in the film. Dell Williams' memoir, Revolution in the Garden was introduced at book signing party where I connected with many veteran feminists from the good old days. There I met up with Rachael Maines, author of The Technology of Orgasm. We had dinner together and her film crew shot a segment with me for her documentary. In December, my friend Jim Gavin did a great interview with me for Time Out New York. They publicized the Babeland party where I again introduced my new DVD.

One of the most moving moments was when a 64 year old man came all the way from Switzerland to pay homage to me. He said the biggest desire left in his life was to talk face to face at least one time with Betty Dodson, his mentor of many years. He realized I didn't offer private sessions for men, but asked if he could share his life story with me. I agreed and we booked a session in December. Tears came to my eyes as I listened to this beautiful, intelligent and sensitive man telling me how positively my books and videos had impacted his life. I may not be rich and famous, but knowing I've made a difference in so many people's sexlives is reward enough. What more could a girl from Kansas want? Through more challenges, failures and successes, I look forward to 2006 with enthusiasm. Join me for another happy orgasmic New Year.