Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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This past year was filled with successes, a few failures, many joys and also sorrow. I have a good relationship with death as a natural part of life, but there are many difficult adjustments to make when a loved one leaves the planet. I lost my brother Bill, two very dear girlfriends, a long term neighbor in my building, and my former husband. When my webmaster Grant was rushed to the hospital just before Christmas, I feared losing him too. The doctors put Grant through a series of tests to find out what was causing his intense abdominal pain.

Several days later he was finally taken for exploratory surgery where they discovered his small intestine had twisted around on itself causing a blockage. Two feet of intestine had to be removed and he was stitched back up. When I saw Grant with tubes and wires covering his body plus a nose drain, he wanted me to know that if he didn't make it, I was the love of his life. I told him that he was the love/hate of my life and somehow, we both managed a chuckle. We are both determined that he will pull through to continue his creative updates. Meanwhile, send him your love and blessings.

In spite of the temporary setback with Grant, I'm starting off the New Year by counting my blessings. When I am around sickness, I stop taking my well-being for granted. Although there are a few new minor aches and pains, I am grateful to be in such good health at 74. My bodily functions are working: I can walk, talk, eat, digest and eliminate daily. Although I pee three to four times during the night, I am able to go right back to sleep. Miraculously, I am not on any meds except vitamin supplements when I remember to take them. And I continue to enjoy my orgasms once or twice a week.

My mind is fully functional except occasionally, I have to hunt for someone's name or a word. The creative juices are flowing. I've scheduled a few workshops to share my process of sex coaching. I want to produce at least three new video tapes over the next couple of years. I look forward to polishing up my memoir for publication in 2005. DVD versions of my videos will be available and I definitely want to do a book of my art. The film makers working on the documentary about me say it will be completed this year. If a cable company isn't interested, it can be shown in film festivals.

Eric and I are amazingly comfortable in our little cabin in the sky. One very important and successful change has been separating our work spaces. I have the back room with four windows and he has the front room with four windows. He now has one of those high-powered computers that has a loud cooling fan so he turns it off when I use the front room for a private session or we socialize with friends. The apartment has never been better. Most of the major things I wanted to do to make it more beautiful and comfortable have been accomplished. Since I moved here in 1962, the entire space remains uncluttered and has served a multitude of needs.

I am still running my company out of one closet, two filing cabinets, and two computers. That in itself is a wonder to behold and is rarely accomplished by even the most fastidious Virgo. The remaining paintings are in storage. Two chest of drawers have slides of my art and photos of Betty through the ages that are fairly well organized. We have new flat screened monitors and I changed my email to eliminate most spam. Like many small businesses, we took a financial hit when the war in Iraq broke out. However, when faced with all the rampant corporate and government greed, I take pride in being middle class and living modestly. Compared to so many others in our troubled world, we are rich beyond measure.

Eric and I have been roommates for five years and we remain committed to not owning each other sexually by practicing our brand of non-monogamy. He's been taking advantage of his sexual mobility, but I've been lazy using my age as an excuse to stay home. In order to motivate myself to include a little sexual variety in my life, I'm going to improve my health and self-esteem by dropping a few unwanted pounds. Along with swimming twice a week, I will be working with a private trainer the other two days, eating daily raw green salads with sprouts, as well as consuming fewer carbs and less sugar. I'm loving life, so I'm willing to make the extra effort to be a magnificent sexual senior living healthfully and sexually.

This past year I've been grateful for MoveOn.org and the online grassroots movement. The mainstream news media has become a huge PR machine for the military/corporate and now congressional complex. When I got on board with MoveOn.org I stopped feeling like a victim of the neocons and hawks in the White House. The best news is that many of us who've ignored politics are now paying close attention. This time I'm educating myself and getting involved.

In the feminist realm, a shocking thing happened to me, a 70's "radical" feminist. I fell for the clever rhetoric of the Independent Women's Forum and sent them a contribution. I agreed with their criticism of those feminists who insist upon wallowing in victimization. When I discovered they supported the Bush/Cheney team, I asked to be removed from their donor list. The lesson here for Ms. Magazine, NOW and V-Day is to move beyond their "woman as victim" message to include our strengths and successes. It's time to empower women so they can claim and celebrate their sexuality.

Last year I was the dinner speaker for the Association of Women Psychologists (AWP). As feminists, many are involved in Women's Studies Programs on college campuses. They were very open to my message that we need to teach sexual skills and create more pleasure in sex instead of focusing only on violence and dysfunction. I suggested we could begin by openly embracing masturbation and reconsidering the universal demand for compulsive heterosexual marriage and monogamy. Does anyone doubt that it's time we get real about human sexuality?

Let's get out the vote and be rid of people who claim their idea of God is better than yours or mine. Let's dump all the politicians, CEO's and clerics who say one thing and do as they please. Let's vote people into office who will uphold the ideal of democracy by insisting on the separation of church and state. Let's put an end to the Religious Wars, Gender Wars, and Cultural Wars by learning to live and let live. Let's acknowledge the body as the soul in physical form and honor our sexuality as the life force. To lift our spirits in these challenging times, join me in welcoming 2004 by counting your blessings, embracing diversity, and knowing we can each choose our own spiritual paths and sexual pleasures. Have a happy, peaceful and orgasmic New Year. Betty Dodson (1-5-04)