Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Dear Betty,

I am a 20 year old woman who feels very apathetic towards sex and masturbation in general. I didn't masturbate as a child. I never "discovered" my clitoris, nor did I ever play with it. It was something I just didn't think about doing. Even today I am hardly sexual. I have brought myself to orgasm, and it was purely exploratory on my part. I didn't enjoy, nor did I dislike the experience. I am also a virgin in part due towards my apathetic feeling towards sex. The other part being that I've never been sexually attracted towards someone. Is there such a thing as Asexuality, and how do you "over come" it? Help?

Dear A,

I believe a person can chose to be non-sexual but I don't believe there is such a thing as asexuality. In other words, a person who has never desired any sexual activity. The fact that you've already had an orgasm tells me there is some interest. And you're also asking how to overcome your apathy toward sex. That's not being asexual. I suggest you treat masturbation like learning any physical skill such as rollerskating, swimming or dancing. Get the information from my website and begin to practice once or twice a week. Just keep an open mind and don't look for immediate results. Simply enjoy whatever pleasant sensations you experience and eventually your body will say, "Hey! This feels good! I want more". At that point you can increase your practice. Have fun!

Dr. Betty