Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

I've got a very tough question for you regarding my sexuality. From a young age I've always had an interest in my anus. I guess a lot of kids do; its just a matter of degree and duration. My two parents had different opinions about sexuality and their children. My Dad was very closed minded and my Mom very open. My Dad let my Mom take the lead when it came to education regarding our sexuality. During the course of my childhood my mother and I engaged in a handful of what I would call erotic experiences.

Let me preface this: nothing occurred due to her initiation. Truth be told, if I hadn't felt comfortable enough to engage in the few an intense moments they wouldn't have happened. The experiences themselves never made me feel bad or weird. As I got older I began to analyze them and still came to the conclusion that modern American society needs to become more sophisticated regarding sex and all of it's nuances. As an example, one day at the age of 7 I was playing naked in my room, using a play thermometer that had a bulbous end and pretending to take my temperature. A thought popped in my head that got me instantly very aroused; I went up to my moms room and asked if she'd take my temperature. After a moment (kids can be very blunt and spontaneous), she said yes, do you feel ill? I said no and laughed.

I jumped on the bed, put my legs behind my head and gave her the play thermometer. She looked at me surprised but did as I requested. After inserting the play thermometer, she asked if it felt OK I said yes, and began to play with my self. She patiently waited until I cam and that was that. Years later, as I was getting a little older I began masturbating more frequently. Living in an open household I was somewhat private but not ashamed. There were times late at night watching movies a scene with sex, bare breasts or nudity and I would pleasure myself in front of her with out fear of being made to feel bad. The older I got the fewer and fewer these things happened I think until I was old enough to own my sexuality and wanted total privacy and independence for myself.

I've kept this my naughty secret for quite some time, but after talking to close friends over the years I began to realize that isolated sexuality charged incidents occurred between parents and children were more frequent than I
had thought! What's you thoughts on this? Do I need to check myself into a mental hospital or am I normal just holding back things that a lot of other people do?

Thanks, please keep my info private if you post this.

Dear M,

Yours is not such a tough question after all. When you say, "The experiences themselves never made me feel bad or weird" is the key. Your mother was very wise to handle things as she did. The most damaging part of natural childhood sexual exploration is when a child is shamed and punished. Send Mom a thank you note for being so intuitively smart about her child's healthy curiosity when it cam to his sweet little butty hole. I totally agree with you when you say, "American society needs to become more sophisticated regarding sex and all of it's nuances." We can only hope this comes to pass. Thanks for sharing part of your sexual history with us. Have you tried the Aneros? I'll bet you'd enjoy it and have an even Happier New Year.

Dr. Betty