Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross
Better Orgasms. Better World.
Dr. B!
I am a 27 year old girl who has recently started having sex with a dear friend. The sex is wonderful and passionate and soulful, but... he has a huge penis. It is somewhere in the range of 10-11 inches and a diameter of about 4 inches. It doesn't hurt when we are having sex, but later on is a different story.
The next day I find that I have an urgent need to pee, then when I do go to the bathroom, not much comes out. Also, it hurts just a little bit to pee. I have found that this isn't always the case- usually if we have sex where he enters me from behind, I don't get that feeling the next day. But sometimes I do still feel it anyway.
The frequent urge to pee with little coming out and the little bit of pain only happens if we have had sex. Sometimes these symptoms will last 2-3 days. To elaborate a little on the pain- it is only when I am peeing, and it is a very dull pain. It's like it hurts that more won't come out, though I can feel that my bladder is empty.
This is making me reluctant to have sex with him. I don't know what is the cause, or what to do. I wonder if maybe he is too big, and something is getting stretched or something? is that possible? what could this be?!?
what can be done!
Dear Cindy,
You have given a classic example of a urinary tract infection or UTI. Now you can look it up on the Internet and learn all about this pesky discomfort that so many women suffer after good or bad sex with a partner. The other name for this that applies to you is "Honeymoon cystitis." Our urinary tract sits just above and on the other side of the vaginal ceiling. It is surrounded by what feminist researchers called the urethral sponge that's made up of erectile tissue. When we become sexually aroused, the sponge fills up with blood to protect our fussy delicate urinary tracts. So make sure you are fully turned on before penetration. Also use extra lubrication before and during penetration. Pee after you've had intercourse. No one has ever died from a UTI but we all agree it's a wonder women are willing to continue fucking after having one. Meanwhile drink plenty of water and cranberry juice.
His large penis isn't stretching your vagina but it is putting pressure on your urethral sponge. Check out the diagram in my book Orgasms for Two that's available in my sex shop. Or check out my friend's book The Clitoral Truth by Becky Chalker. Also look into the info I have under Betty's Vaginal Barbell and tune into your pelvic floor muscle. It will enhance your ability to handle and enjoy a man of size.
Dr. Betty
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