Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I'm a soon to be 60 year old women who thinks she has never had an orgasm and is just now exploring her sexuality. I was married very early in life at 20 and got pregnant with my very first sexual experience. I married this man and we were married for 34 years. He was a very loving and patient man with which I have 3 children. My husband died about 5 years ago.

I grew up with sex being dirty and unfortunately was never comfortable with my body my whole life. My husband was very patient and loving but I never got past my mental obstacles and therefore never experienced the thrill of an orgasm as described in your videos. I have just recently met a wonderful man who is interested in helping me explore my body and my sexual feelings. He would like nothing more that to see me go through the joys and pleasures of an orgasm which would give him utmost pleasure.

Not knowing how to do this, I came across your website and immediately ordered two of the videos, Selfloving and Orgasmic Women. I also ordered the Hitachi Magic Wand and have been experimenting. The massager is amazing and with it I have experienced feelings as never before. I can't tell however if I am having a real orgasm or if I am shutting myself off before the actual release. Sometimes the feelings are so intense that I stop and am afraid to go on not knowing what will happen.

I have to use the massager very hard on my clit. Light touches, finger stimulation just don't do it. Is it harmful to put so much pressure on my clit? As you can see I'm just starting and have many questions. I would like to get to the point where my boyfriend can get me stimulated into orgasm either by manual manipulation or orally. If I need to put so much pressure on my clit to get stimualted, will I ever be able to get orgasmic through other stimuli? Any help you can give me would be very much appreciated. This man is very loving and never thinks of himself or his own stimulation but says it's his pleasure to please me no matter how long it takes.

Dear RG,

Congratulations on discovering your sexual body. Read "First Time Orgasm" again and one more time after that. The Magic Wand will be the best provider of your orgasms. Do not expect the new man in your life to be able to duplicate it. He can hold you, caress you and whisper sweet, hot or dirty words in your ear while you vibrate. Get my book "Orgasms for Two" that tells how to incorporate a vibrator into partnersex. You also need to spend time alone masturbating in order to develop your sexual responses.

When you say, "Sometimes the feelings are so intense that I stop and am afraid to go on not knowing what will happen."

When it gets that intense, lighten up by moving the vibrator to the side of your clit instead of stopping all together. Right after you have an orgasm (which you probably did have) the clitoris is hyper sensitive but calms down in a few moments. Then you can continue. Avoid pressing the vibrator very hard on your clitoris that has 8,000 nerve endings, so wake her up gradually. You are doing great. Enjoy.

Dr. Betty

Thank you for your quick response. I have been using the wand every day since I got it but sometimes I'm so anxious for the feelings that I try and hurry it up and then my mind starts to wander and it's all over. If I press the wand hard does it damage the nerve endings in my clit? I'm always very juicy so I'm not sure if I'm really coming or not but since I've only been doing this for a week now I probably should give myself some time especially since I almost let a lifetime go by without any of these wonderful feelings. Do you really get a rush of fluid during the orgasm? Don't know how to judge this. Thanks again for your advice and I'll get the Orgasms for Two. I also ordered the steel barbell and am looking forward to using it. I also have to remember to breathe and move. I tend to freeze up expecting something to happen.

RG

Okay you named your problem here. "I'm so anxious for the feelings that I try and hurry it up and then my mind starts to wander and it's all over."

Please do not press hard, it will only numb out the nerve endings in your clitoris and you'll feel nothing. Just remember, you are not the first woman to do this and as far as I know, there have been no reports of permanent nerve damage.

Slow down girl! You have the rest of your life to enjoy yourself.

Dr. Betty