Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Hi Betty,

I'm 17 years old and have been with 5 different boys, and never had an orgasm. Some of them I was only with once, the one I'm with now is my boyfriend and we are quite sexually active. Well, he has a little problem of being done in less then five minutes which is annoying, but thats not what I need your advice about. It's my problem. I have been having sex for about a year, and I have masturbated. I never really have gotten anything out of the sex besides it feels somewhat good. When I masturbate, maybe I don't do it for very long, but I don't really get any pleasure except from my clit.

But when I touch my clit I get to a point when its so intense i almost can't go on, i dont know if thats like the start of an orgasm or not? And I have "cummed" when i keep going, but to keep going is almost unbearable. I feel like i'm missing out on so much.

Also, when me and my boyfriend have sex it usually hurts/burns afterwards. Like it burns to pee, and his cum or my "wetness" burns too. It hurts like below the vaginal opening. Do you know why that would happen? And last but not least, I know they are my vaginal lips, i think the inner ones, they are really big/long i think, my boyfriend has also said that, and he's only seen mine and ones in porn. I really could use some guidance.

Dear JP,

Very few women orgasm from intercourse alone especially if it lasts only five minutes. Get my book "Orgasms for Two". Use the search engine on the website and bring up "First Time Orgasm." Take advantage of the information easily available on the site. Your clitoris is your primary organ of pleasure, not the vagina, so the way to learn about your body is by practicing masturbation.

When clitoral sensations get too intense, it's one of two things; either you've just had an orgasm and need to back off and lighten up for a few moments, then continue. Or you have some kind of technique that's too rough and you're not using any lubrication. I have no idea what kind of stimulation you're using, but whatever it is, be sure to use some massage oil and be gentle with your clitoris with it's 8,000 nerve endings. You need to educate yourself about female sexuality.

As for the burn or itch, I'd also have to know what kind of birth control you're using. Some women are sensitive to latex or the chemicals in some water based lube. Use our search engine and look for "vaginal itch." Find a woman's clinic and get your vulva checked out by a health care provider. Until you discover what causing this discomfort, back off from intercourse and focus on practicing masturbation. Right now, you're simply servicing your boyfriend and getting no pleasure from it. Tell him to masturbate more and learn how to control his fast ejaculations.

As for your large inner lips, Good Grief Girl, that's all over our website. Large inner lips are perfectly fine. Both Carlin and I take great pride in owning our own. Do your own homework and take advantage of what we have posted. There are vulva drawings in my book "Sex for One" and we have the Genital Art Gallery that shows nearly 300 different types of penises and vulvas. Unfortunately you are a victim of abstinence only sex education and know nothing about your body, your orgasms or your sexuality. Use Our website to inform yourself along with getting some good books.

Dr. Betty