New study says male infidelity is 'inevitable'

Sat, 05/12/2007 - 14:00
Submitted by sllikesnaked

New study says male infidelity is 'inevitable'
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http://www.scientificblogging.com/news/new_study_says_male_infidelity_is_inevitable

According to this study, marital sex is the single greatest HIV risk for women around the world.

Marital infidelity by men is so deeply ingrained across many cultures, say Mailman School of Public Health researchers, existing HIV prevention programs are putting a growing number of women at risk of developing the HIV virus.

The findings, indicating that globally, prevention programs that take a "just say no” approach and encourage men to be monogamous are unlikely to be effective, underline the need for programs that make extramarital sex safer, rather than—unrealistically—trying to eradicate it.

The article’s lead author, Jennifer S. Hirsch, PhD, associate professor of Sociomedical Sciences at Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health, is principal investigator on a large comparative study showing that the inevitability of men’s infidelity in marriage is true across cultures. This was borne out in the research conducted in rural Mexico as well as in similar studies she is overseeing in rural New Guinea and southeastern Nigeria, which are published in the same issue of the American Journal of Public Health. Two additional studies underway, in Uganda and Vietnam, are expected to show similar results.

The Mexico study was based on six months of anthropological research, including participant observation, 20 marital case studies, 37 key informant interviews, and document analysis to explore the factors that shape HIV risk among married women in Degollado, one of the Mexico’s rural communities.

In rural Mexico, reputation is a critical aspect of sexual identity, and attention to reputation provides insight into why people act in ways that are socially safer, but physically risky. "What we found in our research was that culturally constructed notions of reputation in this community led to sexual behavior designed to minimize men’s social, rather than viral, risks,” said Dr. Hirsch. "We also saw that men’s desire for companionate intimacy actually increases women’s risk for HIV infection.”

A major factor in the study was that married men in the community left their homes to travel to the United States or large Mexican cities to find work. While away for long periods, they engaged in extra-marital and unsafe sex, which can lead to HIV infection. When men return home, they are said to be on honeymoon again, which includes resuming marital sexual relations.

"The result is that women are infected by their husbands, the very people with whom they are supposed to be having sex and, according to social conventions of Mexico, the only people with whom they are ever supposed to have sex,” said Dr. Hirsch. "This challenges existing approaches to HIV prevention. It renders abstinence impossible and unilateral monogamy ineffective. Marital condom use is also not a serious option, because of women’s deep, culturally supported commitment to the fiction of fidelity.”

In New Guinea, researchers also saw labor migration as a major contributor to infidelity. Moreover, many men did not view sexual fidelity as necessary for achieving a happy marriage, but they viewed drinking and "looking for women” as important for male friendships.

In the Nigerian study, the social organization of infidelity was shaped by economic inequality, aspirations for modern lifestyles, gender disparities, and contradictory moralities. There, it is men’s anxieties and ambivalence about masculinity, sexual morality, and social reputation in the context of seeking modern lifestyles – rather than immoral sexual behavior and traditional culture – that exacerbate the risks of HIV/AIDS.

According to Dr. Hirsch, the policy implications of these findings are clear. "This study has direct implications for the types of prevention programs we should be supporting,” she observes. "We might find men’s persistent and widespread participation extramarital sex to be troubling – but it’s a deeply rooted aspect of social organization, and one that is unlikely to be easily changed. Public health programs alone can’t stop extramarital sex, so we need to think about how to reduce the risk. Saying that ‘be faithful’ will protect married women is not true – unilateral monogamy is not an effective prevention strategy.”

Source: Columbia University's Mailman School of Public Health.

The inevitablility of

Thu, 04/02/2009 - 09:03
Bobbi (not verified)

The inevitablility of infidelity is my husband's belief as well. A few years back when I caught him because he took up with a neighbor and between the two of them and quite a lot of alcohol, it soon was known to everyone that a man (and a woman) will cheat when he comes across a willing woman who is attractive enough though he swears now he finds her disgusting and didn't like her at all. This past summer-though he swore he would never, ever behave in such a manner again, knowing (at last?) as he did how I felt about it (he had always known I valued marital fidelity and would not cheat) he reapeated the behavior with the same woman, who apparently grew less repulsive and disgusting though she remained at fault as time went on. I think a finding such as it's inevitable men will cheat to be truly stupid. Okay, biology teaches us a few things about mating and the male of the species wants to spread his seed but, shouldn't the female be the one with more partners, choosing only the finest to propegate the species? Where does our higher consciousness as a species come into effect? Here, I've spent the past 20 years behaving with a certain decorum around the type of man who, married or not, would approach me in a manner indicating he was interested in sex. Finding out my mate had spent those same years getting it where he could came as quite a shock to me and to hear him use his "any man would do what I did in the same situation" explanation impresses me not at all. We have a choice about cheating or not cheating and any man or woman who does is not fulfilling some biological imperative but risking the loss of a long standing union, the love and respect of a spouse and in our case, his children. Though our marriage is not yet dissolve, it is destroyed and the above mentioned cheating is okay as long as the cheater is not caught rings true whereas, cheating is simply human nature and inevitable is absurd. Do not enter into a marriage with those tedious vows if monogmy is unappealing. Long, strong, happy unions need trust and communication to be long, strong and happy and let's face it, it's not going to go over well, telling your life's partner you are boinking someone. Goodbye communication. Goodby trust. So long happy union. I do not want until death do us part without forsaking all others and as far as I am concerned, the past two decades of my life are a lie and there is nothing he can say or do to repair what he has destroyed. He chose to destroy. The amoral baggage who was his partner in crime is as responsible as he is and both of them are quite simply lying, self-gratifying idiots. Thier extra-marital misbehavior was not inevitable. It it were, everyone would cheat and only some do. I hold these people in contempt. I have not cheated on my fututre ex-husband and will end this marriage long before I ever take up with another man because I respect myself; my values remain the same and my only regret is believing that particular man's lies. My advice to men and women alike is this: if you find someone who appeals to you physically and possesses qualities you admire and wish a long term, perhaps even lifelong commitmant, do not place yourself in a situation that could lead to extramarital sex. That means limiting alcohol, which lowers the IQ enough to make some people very stupid. Yes, there are many attractive, willing people out there. Take a pass on them and make a long and happy life with that one person. You won't be missing that much. The thrill of conquest and titillation of sneaking around loses so much of it's appeal when your spouse would feels nothing but contempt for you and you watch you marriage and your life crumble around you all for some nooky you probably won't remember a few months after your affair comes to light and the person who once nurtured and cared for you wouldn't spit on you if your guts were on fire.

Mon, 05/14/2007 - 13:38

I would say that male infidelity is more common/acceptable than it is inevitable. While many will say that monogamy is not natural to begin with, I dont know if that argument can be applied here. As Hirsch has pointed out, this is a culturally-based theory. Many cultures are still patriarchal and continue to perpetuate the need for males to take on other lovers based on status and reputation amongst other males. However, this interferes with the grave reality that the more lovers you keep, the more likely one is to obtain an STD or HIV through unprotected sex. I feel like once its deemed 'inevitable,' it is also deemed as a problem with no resolve, especially for the women who now must deal with the physical repercussions of their husbands as well as the emotional.

Betterthenyouknew's picture
Mon, 05/14/2007 - 18:14

I have a few opinions on this article.

For one thing, this article states the obvious. Men want sex.
Well, is that really a surprise for anyone?
You take a guy and separate him from his mate for a longtime, he WILL want to have sex, and probably about 95% of men will not consider it a terrible indiscretion unless they get caught. I know. Because I’m a man, and I used to think the same way. Don’t ask me why or how or when, I stopped being this way, as I am not sure I am entirely over it. But personally I feel that I will not cheat on a spouse or partner again who is very important to me. I may be wrong and when presented with the wrong set of circumstances, I may take advantage of an opportunity, but I FEEL that I won’t, and I don’t look forward to testing this.
Be that as it may, many men will not see it as a problem, and will take advantage when the opportunity rises.

Now let us remember, of all the animals in the world, there are three, maybe four species including our own that mate for pleasure and not for procreation. I know a certain type of porcupine does this, and dolphins and a type of monkey, but that’s all. Of these four we only know for a fact that humans do it for the joy of the act. It has been speculated that the others do it in order to prevent infidelity, but I am not sure about the studies in those areas so do not wish to make assumptions.
So we are the only species on earth that procreates for FUN!!!

Doesn’t that mean that by nature we are not a monogamous being?

We look at each other and we find different things attractive in different people. In the same way that animals preen and strut and show off, so do we. Only we have more developed minds, and have more diversity of species then any animal out there.
There are skin variations from country to country, and eye color and hair color and body type and lips and hands and breasts, and ass’ and (like Kayten's :cool: ) legs.
We look at people and our perfect match is nearly impossible to find.

Another thing to remember is monogamy came out of religious beliefs more then anything. Someone way back up the road said “This is Wrong” and voila, we have monogamy.
Look back a thousand years or two, and perpetuation of the race was number 1, be it with one wife or ten, if “wife” was even a notion back then. Women were treated alternately as equals and as chattel at different times in history and by different societies, but always child bearing was number one, not monogamy.
Today, with the advent of modern medicine, we look to monogamy for different reasons, but as a Race, are we really monogamous?

On the issue of STD’s there is always a risk, and always will be until we learn to eradicate them once and for all. Minimizing the risk by advertising marriage sounds ridiculous, because a woman is supposed to be able to trust her husband. And a husband is also supposed to know how to care for his body, be he straight as an arrow or be he an opportunist, in the infidelity scene.
I’m not saying I condone the husband or male partner behavior, I am acknowledging the existence of the behavior in both men and women, and am saying it should be part and parcel of our STD awareness. I did not need a study for this.

Hope my rant is clear enough and not exhaustive. :)

A.

Mon, 05/14/2007 - 18:58

Betterthenyouknew;9610 wrote:
I have a few opinions on this article.

For one thing, this article states the obvious. Men want sex.
Well, is that really a surprise for anyone?
You take a guy and separate him from his mate for a longtime, he WILL want to have sex, and probably about 95% of men will not consider it a terrible indiscretion unless they get caught

I agree with you on the monogamy issue, BTYK. But there is always a common misconception made with these studies that draw out stereotypical implications. Everyone knows 'men want sex' because what this study fails to offer is a comprehensive study on women and infidelity. Women have just as high of a sex drive as men; but for a woman to act upon those urges while securing the marriage proves to be the wrong, and sometimes, fatal move on her part. Men are not prohibited from this behavior because it is expected, or based upon their reputation within their community. Because of this type of conditioning, it has always been a difficult (though not impossible) task of pinpointing exactly what a woman's sexuality is like. Women have the same urges and fantasies as men do, but, because they're inherently - by cultural standards - caretakers and wives, their sexuality is muted, discouraged, and often times completely disregarded. This study may be a bit more different if, perhaps, performed in the US, where our standards and our perspectives on women in relationships have changed; but who can say that is the case for the women of Mexico or New Guinea, who may not have a space to carve for their own sexuality. It's also true that marriages and other acts of union are born not from love but from reasons of business, procreation, religion, and politics, which could prove to be a red flag as to why infidelity amongst men in certain communities runs extremely high.