Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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Hi there.

What led me to this forum was a fairly long journey. When I was 11 I learned that the god I believed in didn't approve of masturbation. This subsequently led to my loathing every time my body would naturally want sexual release. Later on in life at 23 I decided that I didn't need to confess to a Mormon Bishop what I felt like doing in my bedroom. And at 26 I left the Mormon Church. I'm 42 now.

In my 30s I encountered Betty Dodon's art work, as first referenced in an article I found in a university library. And then I subsequently found her Sex for One book. I found the book to be a useful counterweight to fear-and-loathing books on sex in Mormon culture such as their "Miracle of Forgiveness" by Spencer Kimball - a book with page after page of hatred for the human condition relative to sex. There is great fear of sexuality in Mormonism. And I experienced this fear first hand when I as a kid loathed and hated every time the sexual side of who I was reared it's head so to speak.

As a 42 year old I'm still working on recovery, and I've made a fair amount of progress. However when I encounter iron fisted control freaks who want to maintain the fear-based status quo in outlying areas of the Salt Lake Valley, such as in Murray (a suburb of Salt Lake), an incredibly high level of defensiveness and concern wells up inside.

Several years ago I donated a copy of Sex for One to the Salt Lake City library and they gladly accepted the book. Their director even sent me a thank you note. However I grew up a few miles south in the Murray/Holladay/Cottonwood part of town. Around 2002 my house got absorbed into Murray and so the Murray City Library became my primary library. I then tried to donate a copy of Sex for One to the Murray City Library. Their director rejected it and said that books with that type of content were not welcome. Later on I sent copies of the book with letters of protest to the Murray City Council (since I paid property taxes to their city). The council members either didn't respond or they responded in a patronizing manner. And they had their city attorney send to me a very patronizing letter. I didn’t back down rhetorically in spite of their misuse of their city attorney in the matter, but they’ve still not budged.

Anyway for me the issue with having the book being on hand at a public library in Utah is far more personal than just trying to ensure that by comparison my political views are expressed in works there. I felt I was wronged as a kid and I feel like kids and adults in Mormonism are continuing to be abused via being taught to fear & hate the feelings of sex. A public library should be a place where all ideas can be expressed - not just those of a controlling & reactionary subsection.

Now I know that you probably don't have a dog in this fight of mine. And maybe from your perspective a public library should do all the censoring it wants in deference to what the supposed majority might want to be on the shelves. But this is a far more personal issue for me.

So anyway, periodically I still try and donate a copy of the book to the public library in Murray. The Salt Lake City Library still has a copy of the book. So it's great that there's at least one place in Utah which is more welcoming to having a positive view on what it is to be human. And maybe Park City may be similar, in that they do host the yearly Sundance Film Festival. But their library has yet to accept the Sex for One book also. I wouldn’t expect the library in Provo to accept one. Park City should. But since I grew up in the Murray area and since for several years I paid property taxes to them, they IMO owe it to me to add this book to their collection. And they owe it to me since by extension their culture did inflict harm on me as a kid, harm which I’m still dealing with as a 42 year old adult.

If you want to help with the Murray Library issue that would be super. If you think I should let it rest then I’ll preemptively say that I don’t need to hear detracting views since I can hear such views already from the cultural kin to those who taught me as a kid that sex was something to be feared and hated. And again as a 42 year old “adult” (whatever that means) I’m doing a lot better, expect when I encounter people like the Murray Library director & the related city council who want to ensure that the kids and adults in Murray don’t have easy access at their public library works such as Sex for One.

Jonathan

http://corvus.freeshell.org