Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I was talking with a friend who is an anal virgin, and she was asking me what the appeal for guys is, since it seems like for her it'd just be painful.  I wanted to see if my reasoning resonates with any of you (both assfuckers and the assfucked).

The physical nature of it, while great, is not THAT much better than inserting yourself into any other of your partners orifices.  Yes, if done wrong it can be unfortable and not particularly rewarding for the receiver.  Let's say, though, for the sake of this post, that the parties involved are well-versed enough to minimize the 'pain' part of the act itself.

The real draw of it, in my eyes at least, is the psychology of it.  It serves no possible reproductive function (its not even an orifice into which things are inserted typically, unless theres something wrong).  No, anal sex is an act purely for the senses and the pleasure of both parties

Anal has been a taboo for so long (though i'm getting the feeling that 'these kids today' have less of a bias against it), that it seems like wanting it implies a pretty high state of arousal, comfort with ones body, and willingness to be adventurous and try new things in the name of pleasure.

It's an intense activity.  It says, "let's do this for the SEX of it" ... "I'm so hot for you I want you in my ASS" ... Some might take this to mean its a submissive thing, but as people who study their feminist history know, its the Object that has all the power in situations like that anyway.  Theres a delicious power/mindfuck to it that can't readily be found in other activities without delving more seriously into bdsm.

Introducing someone to anal for the first time can be a very intimate experience.  It requires trust, good communication, good humor and an innate sense of the rhythm of the other person.  Doing it wrong the first time can make a person unwilling to ever do it again, which I think would be a shame.

For me, I wouldn't say that loving anal sex is a requirement in order for me to have a healthy sexual relationship with someone, but I think its definitely something that everyone should try with a skilled partner at least once.

Anyway, those are some of my thoughts on the subject.  I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks.