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Teaching about sex sucks

WildOrchid's picture
Sat, 09/05/2009 - 09:05
Submitted by WildOrchid

Okay this will be a full-on rant. The topic is not directly linked to D&R but if one of the fabulous ladies reads it she'll know what I'm about. I've been writing about masturbation since I wasn't even 17. So I wasn't even a legal adult when I decided to work with subjects considered appropriate for adults only. (The age of consent is 15 in Poland which I consider reasonable.Okay this will be a full-on rant. The topic is not directly linked to D&R but if one of the fabulous ladies reads it she'll know what I'm about. I've been writing about masturbation since I wasn't even 17. So

I wasn't even a legal adult when I decided to work with subjects considered appropriate for adults only. (The age of consent is 15 in Poland which I consider reasonable.

When I set out there wasn't a single Polish site about female masturbation that I would approve of. Either women were fed Freudian or Christian crap or they were told that their breasts would grow larger if massaged.

The first version of my site launched in December of 2005. It was pleasant looking with info about toys, hygiene, techniques and taking pride in your own body. I also hosted a male nude gallery because there wasn't anything like that made for women and they had to either search for gay sites or look for English websites.

I admit that some of my opinions were a bit backwards then. I thought what vaginal orgasm could be learned and didn't know about the hidden parts of the clit. Although how I missed it spending so much time on Betty's site is a mystery to me.

Almost two years ago I discovered Rebbecca Chalker's Clitoral Truth and downloaded a single file version of The Clitoris website to my phone. I spent the whole weekend sitting up on my bed, propped on pillows, reading. I was wet and excited the whole time. It was as if a whole new world unraveled. I couldn't shut up about it when I was talking to my mum. I downloaded a Planete documentary about the clitoris (I should have Planete at home but our dumb TV can't catch it). If I had a female friend that I could talk about sex at that time she wouldn't be hearing about anything else.

This of course led me to remodeling my site. I used all the new info I've gathered, all the understanding I've gained. I sweated to make everything easy to read for women with basic biology knowledge. I tried and tried to convey every important fact and at the same time don't overwhelm my readers with too much reading material. On the main page I put an advice that all the sub-pages should be at least skimmed through. That the order of the items of the menu was important.

I know that sexual knowledge of an average woman aged 15-30 (my target, older women use internet mainly to connect with old classmates) in Poland (and in USA too) is abysmal. So is their biology knowledge. They confuse vagina with womb. They don't know why putting a finger in their unaroused vagina doesn't cause fireworks. A lot of girls don't know which activities are safe and which can get them pregnant.

That's why I hoped. But take one look at the statistics. They show which part of the site gets most traffic:

Table translated form Polish!

My conclusions are that:

1) First place of the female ejaculation is caused at least in half by males visiting the site.

2) The girls still want to get their males the best service - ejaculate and prove that their boys are studs.

3) Women are interested mostly in getting off. However they are not interested in doing it safely. I know for a fact that a lot of them are OK with putting their cell phones up their cunts (without a condom!). Even a couple of masturbation jokes (I selected only those sex-positive) ranked higher than health!!! Since those three last positions are least important Health and Hygiene has the worst position in the ranking.

4) I'm furious that my anatomy article ranked 10! It's the most important part of the site. I spent hours writing and re-writing it.

5) I feel a bit better looking at the high position of Toys section.

The question is how do you push the people
in the right direction? Putting up the info just isn't enough. I feel at the
end of my rope.

‹ Why is pussy a derogatory name for a wimpy male? small chest = ugly? ›

No, no that's a newer site.

WildOrchid's picture
Sun, 09/06/2009 - 09:14
WildOrchid

No, no that's a newer site. And not mine.

http://samozaspokojenie.ovh.org

That's my baby. I try to keep it in the first 10. And last I checked it's 10.

The layout is new, you can view older layouts using drop down menu on the top left side.

That site that was linked earlier is one of the things that make it harder for me to work. It's clear that it's part of a porn site which makes it harder to accept as a source of advice for women. It makes them wary of the topic of masturbation because of that. It adds to much connotations for which many women who are just starting to reclaim their sexuality are not ready to explore. To put it simply it just brings to their mind the jealousy they feel for they partners when they view such sites.

[url=http://www.moge.pl/eroty

Sun, 09/06/2009 - 05:51
cuntlicker

Is this it?  http://www.moge.pl/erotyka/masturbacja-kobiet.php

I googled "masturbacja kobiet" and this was the only website on the first page of results that looked even close to how WildOrchid described her site.

Abstinence makes The Church grow fondlers.

Your site?

coldnsteelpa's picture
Sun, 09/06/2009 - 02:37
coldnsteelpa

Hi WildOrchid, whats the web adress to your site hun? would like to see it! thanks!

*Sigh*

coldnsteelpa's picture
Sat, 09/05/2009 - 14:13
coldnsteelpa

I just only found out by Carlin the closing to Dr Betty’s and Carlin genital art gallery! Not fair for all the work that you guys do, that has to come to this !!!  Well I’m am male and I’ve been visiting this site for months now and WOW I have learnt so much about women and sex, not only I love the gallery but how all the women that have open their minds and feelings, thoughts of their intermit  sexuality not just their open legs….

I admire them for coming out showing their beauty and they are proud of what they got and those women not ashamed at all… That dose not says that they are sluts at all, nor what a religion cult thinks.

I’m for one that believes that what Dr Betty and Carlin do for women and men too, since they haven’t ruled us men out! That are doing very good things for us all in mind and body. And for everyone to share and learn about our sexuality etc.  You have made many women and men feel better about them self’s body and minds. My best wishes and support  to you Betty and Carlin Don’t give up! Cheers xxxx.

Everyone is equal to all walks of life!     See every difficulty as a challenge, a stepping stone, and never be defeated by anything or anyone.

 

welcome to the world of sex

Sat, 09/05/2009 - 12:30
Carlin Ross

welcome to the world of sex education.  Betty and I have had several of the same experiences with the type of content people gravitate to and the questions they ask about how to orgasm like a man in 3 minutes or less - or how to give a better blow job *sigh*

You have chosen the most political issue in the world to tackle: female sexuality.  I've done the same thing my entire career.  I had to chose law instead of finance or marketing where I could have made a ton of cash with ease.  Then, I give up law and align myself with the most controversial, ass-kicking person in the sex game: Betty Dodson. 

Last night my facebook account was deactivated.  I've never posted any nudity, any of our sex questions, or any profanity.  But I have linked to Betty's essays where she talks about masturbation.  It could be a jilted ex ;) but I think that sex positive content without a porn star or hooker at the helm scares the shit out of people. Now I could fight for my account to be reactivated but I think I'm just going to start a photostream here on the site and say a resounding "fuck you" to facebook.  I've never met anyone interesting off facebook.  I've only been baraged with friend requests from every ex and every guy from my past I didn't sleep with who still wants to bang me.  Betty hates it anyway.

For the past month I've been tormented with the legal implications of our genital art gallery.  They've updated the regulations on 2257 (the law that regulates sexual imagery) and it looks like we're going to have to take it down while we pursue a legal challenge (I mean a big lawsuit) and create a zone of protectable speech for real images of real genitals submitted anonymously by real people. 

I looked at charging for the gallery but that won't protect us.  I looked at every available option but we're going to have to fight for this one.  We're going to release a public statement and we hope that our users will support us.  Betty can't believe that it's come to this - she's been doing this research and publishing the GAG for over 10 years. 

Your rant is our rant.  But when you really look at it are you surprised?  Would we have anything to challenge, anything to say, any reason to get out of bed in the morning if our world wasn't in such a horrid state of sexual repression?  We choose this path - and it's a fucking hard one - because deep down we know that we have the strength and the desire to make this world a better place. Change is never easy. 

Betty has dedicated her entire life to one principle: that masturbation is the foundation of human sexuality.  You can imagine how much it burns watching people like Dr. Ruth use her materials and get a ton of tv time and world recognition only to refuse to associate her name with Betty's.  To watch the popularity of franchises like Sex and the City that reaffirm sexual stereotypes she fought so hard against in the women's movement.

It's a thankless job and no one will ever applaud you for your efforts.  You'll never get a TV show or the cover of Vogue.  But every moment you spend healing, teaching, and guiding women to better understand their bodies and their orgasms leads us closer to equality...closer to a better world...closer to our true potential as a society.  It's this quest for enlightenment and progress that spurns you forward and keeps you warm at night.  This is where we find our solace and our strength to push on.  Never give up!

"most people are fools, most authority is malignant, God does not exist, and everything is wrong" Ted Nelson

You're right about not giving up

WildOrchid's picture
Sat, 09/05/2009 - 19:29
WildOrchid

My site's been ruining for years and every couple of months I get an e-mail saying that my site helped. Today I got a proposition for a banner exchange from an owner of a very good Polish sex store (they have a lot of high end toys). He complimented me on my articles and asked if I would agree to let him repost some of them with links back to my site. I agreed - the store's good enough that I won't be embarrassed for advertising it (had a link to it anyway) and extra publicity is always good.

However I refuse to enter in any loyalty programs because I believe in giving my readers more choice. If I put up links to high end stores with products for 300 PLN (= 100 USD) and up there has to be a link to a store which offers good stuff for 100 PLN. Otherwise girls won't stop molesting their phones (Goddess only knows how much bacteria there are).

I'm very sorry for your problems with the Gallery. I always wanted to post my pictures but never had proper equipment. Now my Mum has a new camera. But I guess I'll have to wait till you straighten out the legal issues.

I've been attacked twice. Once was when some Internet Troll got hold of my instant messenger's number. He posted one hateful message then stopped. I didn't have to change my number.

The second attack was worse because it was personal. I posted a link to my Harry Potter slash translations page (slash is a type of story where you can find a lot of male on male hot action) on a social networking page. In a section "about me" on that translation page I put a link to my female masturbation page (I got best feedback from my fellow slashers). And then some of the young men (19) form my former class got offended. How dare I link to such disgusting materials!? Not only I write about women getting off without their almighty dicks, post male nudes but also translate fiction where Severus Snape rimms Harry Potter. Note: slash is written by women for women, gay men hardly participate.

I almost had a heart attack when I found out a forum topic where they bashed me. But now I put some distance. Now I'm laughing. They must have had the shock of their lives. When I was at school I appeared to be least sexual of the girls. Not pretty, extremely polite, always friendly with the teachers - asexual book-worm. Little did they know. I'm wondering which of the girls from my class was orgasmic before 14 like me?

My biggest concern is that girls who are entering puberty don't get enough information. And they don't know how to look for it. My site is always in the first 10 when you google masturbacja kobiet (female masturbation in Polish) but those girls still rush to forums where they get advice form girls who know as little as them. There are sites where some guys (because there's less female Trolls) deliberately misinform the girls or post rude/riddiculing answers to discourage them from looking further.