The Pain that Follows

Wed, 06/03/2009 - 03:29
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I went to a band debut at the knitting factory.  It was so much like Pseudo that I had to text Steve.  And the band that played was from Sierra Lieonne...I was transported back to 9/11. 

How do I explain what it felt like?   I spoke to my mom today and shared my experience in an effort to help her cope with not being accepted.  She said how wise I was and how understanding and asked how I got that way...my answer: I had a hard time and I want to let go and love so that I can live a full life.

Sometimes like right now while I'm sitting here thinking about things I wonder who I would be if I had different parents...different lovers...different partners... and I think that answer is the same: I'd be me.  And it may not all fall into place.  I'll probabaly fuck it up...end up alone...all I want is to know that I lived my life in service to my fellow man.  That is my consolation.  I hope that it'll be more but if it's not that's ok too.

Thanks for sharing.

Joelface's picture
Tue, 06/16/2009 - 02:05

I don't think i'll ever understand what that was like for you over there in America, especially those near the attack when it happened.... though it did affect us in Canada as well.

I think we could all have turned out much differently if certain aspects of us had been different. Having certain friends has certainly affected me, and I have to believe having different parents would have a profoundly vast impact on your outlook on life. That isn't to say you are forced to be like your parents, but they do affect you with their choices in some very crucial ways.

I do think we all have the ability to make that choice... to act only for ourselves, or to act with others interests at heart. I think its very clear that you care about others, and that you are a kind heart, and a lover. I don't think there is any question about that. Never give up on that quest.. your life will be what YOU make of it.

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23 - M - Critical Relativist and Feminist (Equalist) - Canada