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My 5 yr old asked me if she could have my new vibe.

Marias Chaos's picture
Tue, 04/19/2011 - 21:44
Submitted by Marias Chaos

Please forgive me if this is a little long winded.

I have 4 children. Currently 13, 11, 9 and 5. Boy, Boy, Girl, Girl.

Anyways, my youngest (just turned 5) daughter has always been masturbatory. Since she could walk she would hump and grind me or the couch or whatever toy of hers that felt good. Once she was old enough to understand me I started telling her in a simple calm tone to do that in her bedroom. She often calms herself down or falls asleep in her room naked with her butt up in the air atop of a pile of her Teddys and blankets. I have no problem with this.

I have had a silver wand style vibe for a long time. I use it quite regularly. I often leave this vibe under my pillow or on my nightstand. Any time my kids have asked what it is, I tell them it's a massager. I do often fall asleep with it also. And my youngest still comes to my room in the middle of the night on a regular basis.

I am also aware that at some point my oldest son (who has had sex ed at school) told his younger siblings that I use it to massage my "private parts".

Recently I bought a mini wand style vibe, much like my silver one, but this one is cute and has a pinkish/purple marble swirl design to it. Three days after I bought the new mini wand, I walk into my bedroom and there is my 5 yr old sitting at my pillow adoring the new lil vibe. She looked at me and cradled it and said,  "I want to have this! Is this for me? I want it". I said, "No, that is mine, what do you want it for"? She replied that she wants to lay on it like she has seen my do. I could tell she also just loved the idea of her own little pink toy like moms. I just tucked it back under my pillow and sent her to eat something.

Now I have been thinking, why not? Should I give her her own vibe? Or some kind of massage toy? If not, when is the right age to give a girl her first vibe? Now, I already know the answer is not one set in stone. My older 9 yr old daughter is just starting to develop and in a month she will have her first taste of school sex ed. It seems odd to me I am considering giving my 5 yr old her first toy before her elder sister. Perhaps I shall introduce them both to their first "massager" at the same time?

I am just wondering HOW inappropriate this can be viewed. You see, I am going through a divorce. Chances are the ex and his new fiance will hear ALL about this. I am thinking that if I am to give my girls their own vibe's it might be a better idea to go with something not so wand like. My thought process is that I am looking to give them a massager for their clit... not a dildo to penetrate with. Does it matter?

Well, I appreciate your time and look forward to all replies

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That's actually really cute,,,

Mon, 08/01/2011 - 23:02
Anonymous

that your little one self-soothes like that. lol She's ahead of her time. While I admire your openness and acceptance, I would play it safe and hold off on giving her her own vibe. You really don't want to give the ex any ammunition he can use in court. And I think family court is going to look at this as highly inappropriate. But totally continue being the cool, sexually-comfortable mom you are so they feel ok coming to you with questions; I wish mine would have been.

I'd definitely wait out the

WildOrchid's picture
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 16:47
WildOrchid

I'd definitely wait out the divorce. It's better not to risk custody.

As for when it's appropriate: you know your children best. I would have loved such a present if I've gotten it for a First Period Party or something like that. Since I didn't I procured one myself when I started High School. Not having the knowledge I bought something pupular but in the and not well-suited for me. It was a phthalate-ridden rabbit vibe. It felt too big, smelled and stung a bit. If I knew what I know now I would have gotten something way simpler and made from safer materials. My sister on the other hand got a vibe on her 18th birthday. It was simple, non-sexual-looking and girly. I bought it for her so she could get rid of the tension in the way that didn't include hitting me. She gave the toy back after having a tantrum. I still got hit (and gave back as good as I got) but at least I got a vibe that gave me 80% of my orgasms in the last three years.

I think that as long as your kids grow up without any misinformation or shame that would prevent them from masturbating that's enough. Later they can get a toy for birthday or some other occasion after express desire in having that kind of thing. I think your 5 yo is doing what other girls her age do - wanting to emulate Mommy. Some girls want to have make-up others try on high heels and one apparently wants a vibe. As with all the other grown-up things this can wait.