Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross
Better Orgasms. Better World.
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My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir - EBOOK EDITION |
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Betty Dodson Liberating women one orgasm at a time |
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Carlin Ross Sex, Politics & More Sex |
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cajun sausage Lovin' Dr. Betty since 1996! |
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WildOrchid A selfsexual, toy loving, possibly bisexual total virgin |
hey, this isn't asking advice, more sort of a general opening to a discussion (maybe), but I wasn't sure where else to put it.
I was browsing this site and I noticed it didn’t discuss one aspect of sexuality that I regard as important for orgasm: leg position.
As far as I can remember I have always masturbated with my legs closed, and have (with very few exceptions) needed my legs closed to orgasm.
This has in the past caused more awkwardness with me with my sexual partners. Most guys seem to realise girls want the area round their clit touched, if not much more than that. But trying to broach both the need to the right sort of clitoral stimulation by myself or them and also needing the right positions for orgasm means there needs to be all the more honesty and understanding and openness.
A while ago I read the Hite report. At the time I was in my first sexual relationship and wasn’t that good at expressing myself sexually. I felt I was strange for how I masturbated, and worried that something was broken with me, because the most I could get from sex was to make myself very frustrated. Hite report was a real revelation to me, it made me feel so much less alone. It also stated that a largish minority (and I can’t remember the percentages) preferred masturbating with their legs closed, and some found this the only way they could orgasm. This was a real surprise for me because every depiction I have seen showed legs spread and it seems to be a tacit assumption when talking about masturbation.
I don’t mean to say I can’t have fun with my legs open, and I sometimes like to spread myself and gently play, especially if a guy is there to enjoy the show, but I just can’t seem to get the right sensation in that position.
It seems interesting to me that I haven’t found anything about leg position and orgasm other than the Hite report. In that she says that women who need their legs closed find it more difficult to orgasm during sex because fewer positions that’d work are available. Since finding a boyfriend who I can communicate well with I haven’t found this a problem. If any of you out there are the same way as me, some positions that I find work (with clit stimulation!) are:
Spooning: this is great because its so easy to reach round and touch yourself. Also nice and cuddly.
Girl on her front lying on the bed (or whatever). The guy just lies on top of her.
Lying on her front on the guy. This gives only very shallow penetration, but its nice to be facing each other. In both the last two positions one can slide a hand under oneself to rub the clit, though it can take a bit of positioning so your arm isn’t sore.
Finally I find the best thing to do is to add more variety to your sex is to change positions during. Start off in a nice playful one, change to something you can come in, maybe change again for the guy to come.
So does anyone else feel the same way or know of any other study that has looked into this at all?
My wife does both... near
My wife does both...
near the end of a love making session, I will be done, and my wife will still be hot. She will slide her legs together and have another 1 or 2 little orgasms, with me still inside.
This generally means she is going to want to go again...
Open legs please...
I don't think I've ever orgasmed with my legs closed. Its possible maybe when I was young, but I can't really recall. Its the very opposite for me, they need to be spread- usually the wider the better... there are even times when they are spread so much that it puts pressure on my hip joints and actually causes pain. I feel like my clit is exposed and can be stimulated more that way. That's not to say that I don't enjoy sex with closed legs- sometimes it feels wonderful to be on my stomach, with my legs closed, being fucked from behind... but its never produced an orgasm, just lots of fun.
words
So i know that you said you hadn't seen anything on the site about leg position but Betty does write back to someone who wrote in about this problem.
http://dodsonandross.com/sexfeature/my-stomach-my-legs-tense-isnt-cuttin...
She calls it a tension orgasm and its something that we just try to develop away form because it just the beginning of our sexual experience. I've had this problem to but the more i work on opening up how i try to orgasm i've been finding it easier to orgasm with my legs in different positions.
My leg position varies.
My leg position varies. Recently it's mostly legs crossed. I use legs together too. Legs spread are for the times I'm doing it sitting (in front of my computer). But I can't pull off legs bent at the knees. Even if I try with a strong fantasy. I first saw it on Betty's video and decided to try it - I got nowhere.
The position I orgasm fastest is laying on my back, legs moving, but those orgasms are nothing to write home about. It's better to invest some time and do it laying on my back. I think the difference might lay in tensing different muscles. I usually tense my tights if I want co come faster like in those "tension orgasms" in Betty&Carlin's video podcast some months ago.
re:leg position
I, too, can usually only come when my legs are closed and when I'm laying on my belly. I find that I need the deep pressure that this position provides. Since I've been doing it solo for the past couple of years, I'm satisfied with this, but I know this could be a potential problem with a partner. The best come I ever had with my last partner (my ex) was when we actually were face to face and he slipped one of his legs between mine during penetration, almost like a tribbing position. I got deeper penetration, plus the most exquisite clit stimulation. I found I had something to rub my clit on (his leg or hip) while we were fucking, and I came twice in succession. I can't wait for the chance to do it again someday. He seemed to find this very pleasurable, too. Again, deeper penetration.