Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross
Better Orgasms. Better World.
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Betty's Vaginal Barbell |
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My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir - EBOOK EDITION |
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Betty Dodson's Bodysex Workshop DVD |
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Betty Dodson Liberating women one orgasm at a time |
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Carlin Ross Sex, Politics & More Sex |
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Eric Amaranth Sex life coaching, real life erotica, and wellness |
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Lawrence Lanoff Reality Hacker. Sex Educator. Geek. |
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Liandra Dahl Sex Documentarian |
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LilithLand Women, Sex, Culture & Relationships |
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cajun sausage Lovin' Dr. Betty since 1996! |
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Christina Cicchelli Professional Pervert |
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Danny Wylde Male. Libra. Whore |
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Dr. Lulu History & the Material Culture of Sex |
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Emily and Ju Queer love |
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Eric Francis Astrology & Adventure |
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Jenn Parenthood. With Cursing |
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Jessica Kramer Liberating Birth |
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jexhibitionism |
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Kasini Poet. Educator. Catalyst. Mother. |
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LesleyS Redefining my sexual self after babies. |
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Logan Levkoff sexologist, sex educator, intellisexual, author, mom |
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Marisa Black Finding room for all of me |
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Marylou Naccarato Learn how to raise your level of “Sexability” |
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Palesa Art + Sex + Media + Empowerment |
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Princess What would my mother say? |
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Solo Sexualist |
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VirginMonoblogger Thought all virgins were the same? Think again. |
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WildOrchid A selfsexual, toy loving, possibly bisexual total virgin |
Hey everyone. I'm new to the forums. I did post under the new members portion as well but there was an issue with a far too enormous photo and i had to delete it --- I'll post again. I'm hoping the corrected, new photo shows up this time. Sheesh!!!
Aaaanyway.
My boyfriend is almost 29. We've been together for a while and I was bestowed with the honor of taking his virginity. He's fantastic and I adore him. He can make me orgasm through foreplay like no one else has been able to. However, He gets really hard --- and doesn't come. He does cum when we're having sex (i'm pretty sure -- i'm a cummer myself so I can't be 100% sure), but not with anything else.
I brought it up to him the other day, and he said it's just because it's all so intense and new, and he can't perform too many times a day. This is very valid only... I have a few questions. And I do NOT mind waiting around for him to get used to all this sexual pleasure... I just want to make sure it's normal because I've never been with someone who'd barely done anything before.
So, my questions:
1. Is it true that because he's new to it, he would have issues like this? I would think that because he was new to it, he'd be getting hard almost immediately after having an orgasm. Again, I'm not a boy, so I have no idea.
2. Is this something he'll "grow out of" or will he always have said issue? I've read that this can happen to men and usually means they'll have an issue fathering children (something this wonderful man should definitely do someday..whether with me or anyone else).
3. He said that he can't perform that many times in a day... but when I was giving him oral pleasure, using my hands, etc, it had been the first time that day... He said he can't last that long between when we start kissing and he gets the erection and when I finally get down there and play it's gone (though i can feel it still being there but then he'll just go soft while i'm playing). I told him he can tell me to go down on him anytime he's ready and I will gladly do it.
4. Relating again to it being something about too much too soon, one weekend we had sex, went to bed, woke up the next morning (8 hrs later), i realized i got my period but i still wanted to pleasure him and I tried but nothing. And THEN shortly after, he took a shower and I heard him cumming in there. So, maybe it's performance anxiety? Maybe it's me? Maybe he just missed his old friend (his hand)? LOL. Seriously though, I think this is the bit that bothers me the most because it showed me he CAN have an orgasm when he said he couldn't.
Like I said, I am completely willing to work this out, try new things, etc etc etc. I just don't know much about it and want to make sure nothing is WRONG.
Thanks!
The HGH spray from Dr Max
The HGH spray from Dr Max Powers improved my urine flow and clarity...and improved blood flow for sexual activity
As the husband of a
As the husband of a multi-orgasmic woman, I can say that this is some times an issue. The way I understand it, after a male orgasm, prolactin and oxytocin are released and that makes it very difficult to have the next erection. its the "roll over go to sleep" thing.
recovery time varies, but the the thing i have noticed is the next erection seems less sensitive. The recovery time is shorter if it has been a couple of days since the last time we were together.
So....
1. no, I don't believe it has to do with being new to sex. its more about the chemicals released after orgasm.
2. I am guessing he will not "grow out of it" the refractory period (recovery time) will get longer. but not a lot until he gets older. I am over 40 and its not much different then when I was 20, but my wife is very persistent.;-)
3. This is going to sound like a "guy thing" but... there is no substitute for direct contact. then again, loosing interest may be the issue here. If he knows he is going to get it several time that day....
4. Mornings are a whole different subject... the morning erection is a thing of wonder. every guy I have ever talked to has said the same thing. Its less sensitive, but not in a bad way... it needs more stimulation, and some times you just need to take matters into your own hands.
Do you notice the same issues if you have been apart for a couple of days?
Cut him some slack...
... and relax yourself. It's not anybody's fault. Assuming boys start to masturbate when they're 11-14 years old he's had 15 or more years of it only. During masturbation he didn't have to worry about geting hard (because if he didn't nobody but him would know), didn't worry about if his partner got satisfaction (and he knew he did). Now his sex life got very complicated in comparison to those 15 or so years.
Most boys lose their virginity sooner so they have less time to develop wories and anxieties about being man enough and satisfying his partner. Give him time, reasure him when he needs it.
You must understand that while his in a situation where most boys find themselves in during their teens, his body is not that of a teenager. He's almost thirty. That means longer refractory period, erections go away easier without direct stimulation, less ejaculations per day.
I don't know if my assumption is correct but I think I read between the lines that he tries to save his orgasms for intercourse so he can pleasure you more. Maybe he needs permission to enjoy himself without worry that he'll be unable to satisfy you later. Don't push him for quantity so much. Focus on quality and refining your and his skills.
...damn photo...
OK -- the new photo shows up correctly in my account page but not on the comments -- I have no idea what to do and I'm sorry about the ENORMOUS and obnoxious image above. I swear I remedied it and it's still not working.