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Bisexuality

Fri, 07/20/2012 - 10:31
Submitted by heatherwc

I have always, I mean always wanted to be with a woman. I had a crush on a girl when I was about 14. But I didn't really have sexual feelings. I just felt like I loved her. And of course, nothing happened.
I have been madly in love with men since my later teens. Esp my boyfriend when I was 17 and 19 (we dated twice). I really, really loved him and being with him sexually. 
I have been married 19 years and I adore my husband. I am not really into sex anymore. It's not him, it's me. But I love him SO much. 
Reading on here, it seems like everyone wants to and gets to try it once. I'm not ashamed I want to try it at least once, but darn it, I live in a small town, don't know anyone who seems like they would be interested (not that I have asked, it's just intuition_). I live in a conservative part of the country. I don't want a relationship. I just want ONE go at it. But I don't think it's gonna happen. This is pretty frustrating. I didn't go to college, so I didn't have that dorm room experimenting, I just pretty much have given up. I'm pushing 40. I think I'm just venting. I don't think there is any advice that would help. I have looked on Craigs List, but it's all so filthy. I don't want "Let me make your pussy wet" or crap like that. Just something kinda gentle and not skanky? I guess I'm just whining. I've really wanted this for so long. I don't know why. How do women meet up? What do you do to let someone know you are interested, or more importantly that they are interested? THere is no real answer is there? 
Ok, vent over. It feels good to get that off my chest since this is my other dirty little secret (apart from the gay porn).  Thanks, Heather

‹ For those who have luxurious seem I've finally fully embraced my bisexuality. ›

Don't give up. I thought I'd

Orchid75's picture
Fri, 09/14/2012 - 08:52
Orchid75

Don't give up. I thought I'd never have a sexual experience with a woman and it recently happened. My chances of being with her again are good, as well. I also live in a small town, in a very conservative area, didn't go to a university, have been with the same man for 18 years, I'm 37, and it is happening for me.
She and I just flirted a bit. She wasn't afraid to check me out. I responded. It went from there. It kind of came out of the blue. I had all but given up as well. I thought I was alone with lesbian porn. lol Just don't be afraid to flirt a little, put the vibe out there. I'd wager that more women in small, conservative towns like ours are feeling the same way we do. They're just afraid of the gossip, afraid to really be themselves.
Good luck, Heather.

Orchid75, I'm curious how you'd feel if . . .

Fri, 09/14/2012 - 23:55
Patrick_R

Orchid75, I'm curious how you'd feel if your husband/boyfriend was looking to have a sexual experience with another man, and finally had and enjoyed that experience---with plans to perhaps have it again. Do you see this as somehow different from two women being together, or would you be all right with it?

I'd be fine with it and don't

Orchid75's picture
Sat, 09/15/2012 - 19:46
Orchid75

I'd be fine with it and don't see it as different than two women being together. My husband and I have discussed me being with another woman for a while now and he's very open to the idea. He knows that I am ok with him exploring his sexuality as well. I think it would be hot it he had a sexual experience with another man.

Thank you

Sat, 09/15/2012 - 22:24
Patrick_R

Thank you. I'm sure your husband appreciates your open-mindedness. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. I remember several young women on the Abby Winters site being asked how they'd feel if their boyfriends were doing exactly the same thing they were doing: having same-sex relations for enjoyment and to make a bit of extra money. The women who responded were almost universally horrified. One said that she'd leave him. Another said that, sure, she'd had oral sex with women and it was no big deal, but a man going down on another man was "a totally different thing". She didn't explain why she felt that way, just that she'd find it completely unacceptable. I've heard of this double standard before, so I was curious how prevalent it is. I'm glad to hear you don't subscribe to it.

You're welcome. Yes, we

Orchid75's picture
Sun, 09/16/2012 - 09:41
Orchid75

You're welcome. Yes, we appreciate each other's open-mindedness. Granted, it took a while to get here in my own self. I feel lucky that he loves and accepts me enough to let me grow sexually and just be who I am, with him and beyond. I love him and want him to be happy and it just seems right to let him explore with another man if he wants. I don't see it as totally different. It's two people exploring, regardless of gender. I don't see gender as binary any more than I see sexuality as static. I love what Carlin says - we're all just sexual. :)

Orchid75, I'm curious how . . .

Fri, 09/14/2012 - 23:51
Anonymous

Orchid75, I'm curious how you'd feel if your husband/boyfriend was looking to have a sexual experience with another man, and finally had and enjoyed that experience---with plans to perhaps have it again. Do you see this as somehow different from two women being together, or would you be all right with it?

Opportunities...???

Wed, 08/15/2012 - 19:15
SunnyLV

Have you tried going out to night clubs?  I have to admit, I'm now 40 years old, but in my 20s and 30s, I always got hit on by at least one female when I went out clubbing.  And this was in "regular" night clubs, not gay or lesbian clubs.  I also use to work in a strip club and I can't tell you how many of those girls went home with customers who were just like you... bi-curious and wanted to be with a woman for the first time.  You could also try swingers clubs because many, many men also have the fantasy of seeing their wives with another woman--that is, if you're comfortable being watched.  And... lastly, you can go out for a girls night with a friend you're attracted to, get drunk and make a move on her.  If she's not into it, you can blame it on the alcohol.  If she is into it, well... have fun!!!  This has happened to me and all I can say is that it was a very fun night!!!  Good luck!!  :)

Try expressing how you feel

Sun, 07/29/2012 - 18:51
Jake E

Try expressing how you feel on the Melswebs message board. It's a site for creative Sapphic women. Lots of people to advise, especially Mel herself.