Ask Betty

Hi Betty,

My question is actually for a friend of mine (I know that sounds lame, but it's true). She experiences pain from intercourse because her vaginal skin (outside labia, actually) tears easily, like several paper cuts. She's tried different soaps (or none at all) and tried different creams and steroids. Have you heard of this before? And if so, what can you suggest?

Dr. Betty-

I wasn't brought up in an overly religious household, or made to go to church, or told that anything sexual was wrong. I masturbate almost every night and have wonderful fantasies constatnly when I'm not occupied with something else. But I am a virgin still, and I'm starting to think there might be something wrong with that.

I'm 21 years old and have been masturbating for a number of years but have never been able to orgasm - no matter what I do or how long I do it for. I do have a boyfriend and have already explained to him that the big O doesn't seem to happen for me. However, I think he's beginning to feel disheartened that after a number of months with him I haven't had an orgasm.

I've been in a relationship for 4 years and I still haven't had my first orgasm. I've been faking it for all this time. How do I tell my partner and how do I get my first orgasm?

hey doctor Betty,

I am a 15 year old male and i masturbate once every 2-3 days. however, i am having problems orgasming using the method of finger and thumb going up and down the penis until ejaculation. could you help me with better ways of orgasming? i cannot use vibrators because my parents look into my room every so often. Please could you help me?

When my girlfriend is giving me oral sex, she likes to place the pad of her thumb between my testicles and anus. If she feels me throbb and knows I'm about to cum, she'll push hard with her thumb there and squeeze the base of my penis with her other hand (index finger and thumb). She does this so I don't ejaculate into her mouth. Is it safe for her to do this to me? Where does the cum backwash go?

I am a 24 and have a low sex drive. Their have been times when it feels like I don't have one at all. I have anxiety problems and have been on medications for it in the past, but my sex drive has still not returned. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for ways in which I could increase it naturally?

I am 29 years old and I've recently found myself in a sexual rut. Since the age of 17, I have enjoyed sex with many partners---around 50 to be exact. For the last two and a half years, I have been in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful man. He is supportive, patient, and kind in all aspects of the relationship. However, for some reason, I'm feeling less and less interested in sex. Every time he initiates it, I feel suffocated. I always push him away. I actually feel like I can't breathe.

Dear Betty,

I am a bisexual woman in a long term relationship with another woman. Recently, we had a threesome with a male friend, which for both of us was the first time having sex with a male. My lady and I have used sex toys, and achieved penetration in other ways, so I guess it surprised me a little when I bled after having intercourse with the male. When I hear talk of the hymen, it's described as being along the lower edge of the vaginal opening, but I think my bleeding is coming from the upper area. We have done this twice now, and while I bled less the second time, I still did. It continues lightly for a day or so afterwards. The male does have a penis on the larger side, which I am sure is a factor. I guess I am wondering - is there any bleeding resulting from sex that I SHOULD be worried about?