Ask Betty

Is He Pretending to be Heterosexual?

Fri, 12/08/2017 - 08:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

hi Dr. Betty :)

Thank you, because you helped me through your website, a lot in exploring my sexuality while being in a very conservative society.

I have a question concerning my fiancee, my future husband, as our marriage is approaching, I began to discuss sex with him, and to try flirting, to see how the chemistry will be between us. He told me something really strange: the first porn movie he saw, it was by mistake on his friend's laptop, it was featuring a woman masturbating and stripping, he told me that this scene made him "vomit"!

I Don't Feel Sexual Attraction When I See People

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 08:14
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I'm 26-year-old, and English is not my mother tongue, so forgive me for any mistakes in writing

I am writing you because I have a problem that I don't know how to identify and I don't know how to solve.

Puzzle's pieces (it took me one hour to finish this!)

1) I don't feel "sexual attraction" when I see people - men or women - I don't find them sexually attractive, some people are aesthetically more (physically or mentally) beautiful than others, and I'm able to fell in love (once in 1'000 years), with "butterflies in my stomach" and so on, but it's all here. No "sexual attraction". No desire. Nothing.

You're an Inspiration to Me as a Young Woman, a Sexual Being, & One Day a Mother

Thu, 11/16/2017 - 09:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr. Betty,

I wanted to send you a note of thanks, but first let me give you some context.

I am the oldest of three daughters, who grew up in a home where our parents did not discuss sex. As a gifted individual, I was happy to learn of this topic on my own. At age 11, I began watching the fabulous videos made by you and Carlin.

You have both talked me through many first experiences before they were even a possibility. You've given me a confidence to advocate for myself and my pleasure. What's more, I now find myself encouraging my peers and others to advocate for themselves as well. I am saddened to find that too many of my 20-something year old friends are limited to the pleasure they receive from their partners, if there is any at all.

If I Met Him in a Fetish Club, Does He Have a STD?

Thu, 11/02/2017 - 15:25
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

First, thank you. You have helped me so much over the years.

I am 30. I am in a situation in which I have no idea what to do. I started seeing this guy a couple of months ago, and the sex is amazing. We connect on so many levels, though he has not verbally 'locked it down' into a monogamous relationship. I am traveling right now, and went to a fetish club. Wow. I met a man there and we danced. There was a lot of kissing and intimate touching. I felt something special and I am drawn in. He has offered to meet in private before I go. My first thought was 'yes', but then my friend told me how dangerous this is because he goes to fetish clubs and probably has an STD. Is this true, or stigmatizing a community?

Is It Too Late to Change My Masturbation Technique?

Wed, 10/25/2017 - 13:53
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am so frustrated. I am 19 yrs old and can only orgasm the way i did as a child.

I am used to hump on something (a towel) lying face-down. I recently got a boyfriend, and we started having sex 3 months ago. I can't orgasm from the penis inside of me, and i can't orgasm when he fingers me and touches my clit, because I'm used to laying face down humping on something. I would like to get an orgasm laying on my back touching my clit, like you did on the NRK show. I have tried this for 2 months but it never works. Is it too late for me to change my pattern? This is almost making me depressed.

Did I Vibrate My Nerve Endings to Death?

Fri, 10/06/2017 - 07:39
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty

I'm hoping someone can give me advice about this.

I was a late bloomer to sex. I never explored down there until I got a vibrator randomly in college. The second time I used the vibrator I achieved orgasm. For a year or so, I continued to use the vibrator, each time having extremely intense full body orgasms-- cold feet followed by waves of warmth, many contractions. I felt like I knew my body like clockwork. I'm not sure what happened, but over the course of the following year my orgasms got shallower and shallower until I barely noticed them. (No, I was not on any medications that might have affected this.) . I'm not even sure if they were orgasms or just little waves of pleasure before orgasm.

How Do You Get Comfortable Having Sex When Battling Erection Issues?

Tue, 09/26/2017 - 06:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I won't take up too much of your time. I will try my best to present the point of me contacting you. I am 38, married man who has 2 children. My wife is 46. We are eight years apart in ages. Okay, now that we got that away, now comes the hardest part. I have spoken to a marriage counselor for sometime now. I've countless sexual "hang-ups", and was wondering, will they eventually leave? Whenever I viewed pornography, I would masturbate to the oral sex movies. I had at one time, preferred masturbating to actual sex. Because I’m a lousy lover.

Are Sleep Orgasms Normal?

Fri, 09/08/2017 - 15:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I am curious about the phenomenon of sleep orgasms.

I know they are normal but I am getting them once or twice every week or 2 weeks. I haven't masturbated for 3-4 months now and is this the reason why i am getting them? By masturbating, will that reduce the amount of sleep orgasms that i am getting since it may be the way of my body releasing the sexual desires? I have been masturbating since i was very young until now and i am healthy, non sexually active and 22 (female).

Since Menopause Sex Burns

Sun, 09/03/2017 - 07:25
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty

I have just finished reading an article in the July issue of Next magazine (New Zealand) about sex for the over 50's, and the article mentioned your website. I have been experiencing painful sex for the past 5 years, and so I jumped on to your website looking for a bit of help. I am writing now asking for help because I am getting desperate!

Did I Get Sexually Wild at 50?

Fri, 08/11/2017 - 07:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am an attractive professional woman who is a flight attendant for a well known Airline and just recently turned 50 and still have a sexy body and legs. MY husband and I have been married for 14 yrs with no kids and he works nights for an automotive company. We have ok sex regularly but I don't always have orgasms with him. My husband thinks old fashioned religious beliefs and would not approve of me masturbating.

Is It True Some Women Just Can't Orgasm?

Wed, 07/19/2017 - 07:47
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 22 years old and I'm not sure I've ever had an orgasm.

I'm originally from Eastern Europe, and had a religious upbringing. I remember being a preteen and asking my mother what sex was like, and she replied "not fun". I always felt guilty about having sexual thoughts, and didn't even allow myself to masturbate until I was 17. As of now I'm in a good relationship with a guy who makes me feel comfortable and I'm finally starting to enjoy sex. I've even found that anal play is a lot of fun!

But I don't come when I'm with my boyfriend, and it never happens when I'm alone either. I try to masturbate with a vibrator, feel like I'm getting into it, and then the feeling suddenly goes away.

Am I Less of a Woman Because Penetration is Painful?

Thu, 06/29/2017 - 08:10
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I'm 17 years old and I'm now in a committed relationship (of 2 years) to where I feel ready and comfortable enough to engage in sexual activities and I am dying to take it to the next level, penetration! I was super excited to try this with my girlfriend (and even a bit nervous of course).

We bought a strap-on and when the time came to do the do, it wouldn't go in! It was extremely painful, but we took our time and slowly got it not even half way in but I was determind to get this thing in me one way or another. As it went depper it was getting more and more painful and burning terribly, and all the while my girlfriend kept encouraging me to keep trying and that it was normal to be that painful the first time, but it just didnt feel right to me.

It Feels Like I Need to Pee All the Time

Tue, 06/13/2017 - 08:24
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I'm hoping you would give me some insights to what's going on. I'm a girl, 21 years, healthy, non sexually active .Almost 2 months ago, I masturbated like once per night for like 5 days to reach an orgasm and it helps me sleep. Is that considered to be over doing it. I kinda just use my fingers to create a vibration and that's it. My real question is that after the 5 days I stopped doing it and I having this feeling like I need to pee all the time!

19 Years Old - Will Kegels Better My Sex Life?

Sat, 06/10/2017 - 07:00
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a 19 year old interested in doing kegels to better my sex life with myself and a partner in the future.

I'd love to get strong results, and getting a kegel exerciser seems the way to go, except after my research there are several sights and people claiming that it is actually a bad way to go -both unnecessary and not as healthy as doing kegels without it.

What do you say to this?

Dear S,

What I say is "to each her own." Chances are you do not need to get your PC muscles stronger. Actually Kegels were designed for women who had given childbirth and needed to restore the muscles. I simply find using the pelvic floor muscles during penetration while including a vibrator on my clitoris enhances my orgasm.

Should Women with Small Clits Practice a Different Form of Stimulation?

Tue, 06/06/2017 - 08:14
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

Howdy & MANY THANKS for this site and your work!!!

The short version: should women with eensy weensy clitoral glans (thanks for the anatomy lesson) practice a different form of stimulation? I've read bunches on your site, watched one of your Orgasm Dr videos, and followed (or tried to) your rock & roll technique (although I am a cheap skate and already sprang for a Hitachi & other things before finding your site and have not invested in the Barbell yet).