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Now "50 Shades of Grey" is Tickling the Mental Clitorises of Women Across the Nation

Mon, 08/20/2012 - 09:00
Submitted by VirginMonoblogger

I have never blogged while tipsy... There's a first time for everything (except vaginal sex for me, apparently), so I care to share that cheap merlot is coursing through my veins and my fucks to be given are so very few. I plan to seek a refill, so by the end of this entry, I think I will be sufficiently fuck-free.

I guess I should go ahead and say that I truly don't give a fuck what people read. I am not losing sleep over this and I have not shed a tear. I just want to say how the fuck I feel. I hate how people think you care deeply about something when you have an unfavorable opinion about it. I care enough to talk about it... and that pretty much covers it.

So, I am pro reading. Truly I am. I love that people are still choosing to be stimulated by text.

I do NOT love how literary BULLSHIT seems to be taking to world by storm. I think I was actually close to death during the "Twilight" craze, and not even because the book sucks. I was irritated because the fans were insane and so were the people who hated the book. I just got sick of hearing about it.

Now "50 Shades of Grey" is tickling the mental clitorises of women across the nation. No, I haven't read it in its entirety. Truly, if I compiled the time that I've spent reading the hilarious reviews on Amazon, I likely could have finished the book already. Anyway, people always automatically tell me that I can't have an opinion about something until I have actually experienced it. Obviously, that's not true, because I know doing cocaine through my eye is a TERRIBLE idea and I've never done it. So, you lose on those grounds alone.

On one hand, I totally get the appeal. I like reading erotica. I love the build up and where my mind can take me. I've had many an orgasm from reading about factual and fictional sexual encounters from people. Sex is hot, dude.

But I DON'T understand why this book is disguised as seasoned literature that just happens to have strong, erotic undertones. NO. It's textual porn and that's okay. I'm totally cool with your panties being wet while you're turning the page. Turn on your vibrator and go to town, but why are women lying to themselves? Why won't we just own what it is? That's what really bothers me. Fuck the fact that it's poorly written and repetitive. Just admit that you're reading it because it's smutty and hot.

It truly takes all kinds and I understand that. Not every book that has any kind of erotica has to be solely about fucking and sucking. And people are allowed to like whatever they want to like. I feel the need to keep mentioning that, because I know I'll be getting emails with people telling me that I'm a fucking bitch for being so judgmental. I'll proudly be that. I will also proudly be honest with myself about why I'm specifically reading something. Am I being mentally stimulated? Or am I getting my rocks off under the guise of reading a well-written novel?

We Suggest: 
Sexual Joy
Spontaneous Surrender
How I'm Feeling Today
50 Shades of Yellow
Thought all virgins were the same? Think again.
http://thevirginmonoblog1.blogspot.com/

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Fifty Shades

Tue, 08/21/2012 - 00:20
Patrick_R

Well, for what it's worth, VMB, the author of 'Fifty Shades' is completely unpretentious about her work and doesn't consider it seasoned literature at all. She makes no claims to being a good writer---she's just a middle-life woman who had fun setting her fantasies down on paper, and she was as shocked as anyone else when her novels took off and became best-sellers. So for all those reviewers to beat her up because her writing is amateurish is not very nice and kind of beside the point. She IS an amateur, and freely admits it. She has a fun personality and doesn't take herself at all seriously. There's a lesson here somewhere, I suppose. Maybe that good things may come to those who aren't too full of themselves.

Hm.

VirginMonoblogger's picture
Tue, 08/21/2012 - 13:00
VirginMonoblogger

Dude, right on to the writer. I didn't mention her once, because despite an author's intentions, things can always be misconstrued; besides that, I didn't know what her intentions were with its release, anyway. I'm referring to the women who are reading it.

concerned about young women reading 50 shades

Tue, 08/21/2012 - 15:53
Jack Enoway (not verified)

I have read all three books. I am very concerned that with their popularity they will be read by young high school aged girls who will dive head long into the stereotype fairytale krap that has for so long resulted in sexual repression and frustration. We all orgasm when ever we want. We are all always ready. No lube needed. The only orgasms you will ever need or have are the ones given to you by the huge magical penis of a good-looking rich stud. Not to mention that now insane jealousy and stalking are signs of deep true love. I say aunt Betty should blow this krap out of the water with 50 real orgasms for 50 real non drop dead gorgeous not rich regular people in the real world!

Am I the only one who is bothered by this?

Jack

Fifty Shades . . .

Tue, 08/21/2012 - 16:48
Patrick_R

Yes, I get that you're not putting down the writer. What I think you're saying has to do with readers being coy about owning up to enjoying erotica---they feel more 'respectable' about it if they can pretend to themselves that they're immersed in real literature as opposed to 'smut'. That's nonsense, but I guess our culture has made a lot of us ashamed about just plain enjoying descriptions of sex because they're hot and for no other reason.

Jack, Wtf! Not everyone wants

Thu, 08/23/2012 - 11:04
Anonymous 123 (not verified)

Jack, Wtf! Not everyone wants the hot rich guy! Though it doesn't hurt. It's still a good story about boundaries and comprimise. Telling someone how far you can be taken and sometimes taking yourself a little further with someone you trust. Duh!

Gilbert Gottfried Reads Fifty Shades of Grey

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 21:53
AnotherAnonymous (not verified)

... the way it should be read.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA

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