Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross
Better Orgasms. Better World.
So... I think I'm about to become one of those whiny bloggers who beg for money, but label the incoming funds as "donations." My laptop is dead and gone. I'm mulling it over, but I likely won't ever do it.
I hate feeling obligated to give something to someone just because they're CHOOSING to provide me with something (whether it be entertainment, food, sex, or otherwise).
So, anyway, have you ever thought about how you feel after an orgasm? Not after the yummy contractions die down and your heart rate has returned to normal, but IMMEDIATELY after you hit that pinnacle pleasure?
As long as I can remember, my feelings before orgasm are always immediately intensified right after I have one and then they go away as quickly as they came. If I've ovulating, I feel like telling someone "I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" hugging them closely to my body and cuddling and all that good shit. Sometimes, I'll whisper the name of the person I was fantasizing about (and I think we all know whose name comes up fairly often). I feel so fucking passionate and sexual, I just want to verbalize it. Those are usually the best, wettest, and most intense orgasms. I almost always use penetration and leave whatever I'm using (fingers, dildo, or vibrator) resting in my vagina. I just love feeling filled and satisfied.
If I'm nearing my period or very upset, I may feel a little sad. I won't go the extra mile of touching myself until the contractions stop. I usually quickly occupy myself after those orgasms, because too much time with my mind being idle exacerbates that feeling.
If I'm very excited or anxious, I actually feel the opposite. Immediately after my orgasm, I feel about three seconds of total calmness, relaxation and serenity. It's like my mind and body just did yoga or meditated, but the effects don't last very long. The anxiousness or excitement typically builds right back up, but I love those few minutes of quiet bliss. I had a lot of those orgasms during stressful times with school. It was like manual and sexual Ativan.
I don't even know why I bother masturbating when I feel irritable or just generally pissed off. I've yet to encounter a "bad" orgasm, but these are pretty lackluster and add just one more thing to the list of things that I'm currently pissed about. I don't feel an emotional release, and the physical one isn't anything to write home about. I typically busy myself with journaling or making whiny Facebook statuses instead.
My average everyday orgasms yield average everyday feelings. Typically, I don't feel anything staggering or breath-taking. I just have an orgasm, roll over, and continue about my business. Here lately, that has involved just going to sleep. I feel relaxed enough, but it's something I could achieve without touching myself if I were to just lay still and relaxed in bed for an hour.
I wonder how these orgasms will be when I finally share one with a partner.
Interesting points about the post-orgasm state . . .
Those are interesting observations, VMB. What struck me is how your mood pre-orgasm directly affects the way you feel post-orgasm. If you're feeling affectionate, anxious, sad, or pissed off, those states seem to reassert themselves pretty quickly right after an orgasm---you don't magically transition into another frame of mind. Which is what we'd expect, I guess, since our sexuality is a part of our being and not separate from it. Now you've got me curious about my own responses! Good partner sex, though, could really change the dynamics of this for you. If it's with a person you really care about, their moods and touch and caring---things like being held by them after you come---can have a powerful effect on the whole experience. That experience of loving closeness is enhanced by sharing orgasms.
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