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You Really Have Heavy Breasts

Fri, 10/21/2011 - 08:29
Submitted by VirginMonoblogger

So, my gynecologist appointment was today. I left school (and went back after; talk about dedication) and drove over. I didn't have to wait nearly as long as I did, which is good, because I was on the verge of having a case of nervous diarrhea.

Have I mentioned how much I love my gynecologist? Because I love her. I feel so comfortable and respected when I talk to her. She takes a genuine interest in listening and doesn't rush me. When she started the breast exam, she was casually talking to me about school. It really helped to lower my anxiety level. I also appreciated the fact that she was so gentle and her hands were warm. When I do assessments on my patients, I try to take care to have warm hands and a warm stethoscope. No one likes to be examined, so it helps to provide that little bit of comfort. We talked about how we would never want to trade places with men and how amazing women are and all the good feminist-y shit. She is so awesome.

There were no abnormal findings and she told me to start taking Evening Primrose Oil (which I've been taking for about a month, so I basically felt like a genius for beating her to the punch) to combat the breast pain. She said that, when you're "heavy chested," you're definitely more prone to having breast pain. At the end of the exam, she said "Yeah, you have really heavy breasts! You're very well endowed! You can't get a sports bra from Target. You're going to have to dig deep in your pockets." She said I should start sleeping in a sports bra, so we'll see how that goes.

Now, I don't know what the FUCK my cervix problem is, but she always has to dig for that bitch. There's really no gentle way to find a cervix. I feel like she's scooping out my insides when she goes a-searching. It was toe-curling discomfort, but I survived. I still feel all squishy and slippery down there. It feels so foreign, because I know that isn't my cervical fluid swimming around down there.

When asked if I was sexually active, I responded with "The only thing I'm spending intimate time with is my textbook." She laughed and started talking about how my vagina still works, even if it's been a while (she doesn't know that I've never banged... vaginally). Made me giggle, but I didn't think it was super appropriate to laugh while her fingers were inside me. Then she started talking about me settling down with a man and how sharing romantic love is amazing... That crazy bitch totally lost me then. Fuck that. She's more my type than any man I've come across, but that's not saying a whole lot and I couldn't tell her that, anyway.

So, yeah. It went well and I'm glad it's over. The office sends me a paper with my PAP results, so that should be here in a few weeks. I feel better knowing I got the goods checked

Thought all virgins were the same? Think again.
http://thevirginmonoblog1.blogspot.com/

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I agree. I'm not really

Fri, 10/21/2011 - 14:21
Jake E

I agree. I'm not really androsexual enough to have a relationship with a man but if I was 50/50 bi I'd prefer a relationship with a woman. Though there are always acceptions and I've met some lovely guys. 
The Doctor at the sexual health clinic is my andrologist really. I certainlty feel at home with her as she's the only other person I know around me who's in the Dods and Ross headspace. I think like your gynocologist, having these people there is so good because our sexual health is so important to our emotional happiness.

Glad to hear the exam went well

Fri, 10/21/2011 - 21:54
Heylin

I'm very glad that you got some reassurance, but now I have to rant about the finding a life partner thing.
 It's usually not important in my day to day activities to delve into the sex lives of patients who are there for a leg wound, I would probably want to know if they are properly managing their diabetes and/or getting the proper wound care. If you have uncontrolled diabetes and you're whining about your infection, I'm going to counsel you on the importance of maintaining proper glucose levels and encourage you to work with your doctor to fix this because if your sugar is 600, your blood is basically a yummy syrup for bacteria and fungi to thrive in. If I worked in GYN, I think knowing about who and how my patients had sex would be important. I'm very surprised that GYN clinics do not do a better job of just asking people rather than assuming everyone fits into the cookie cutter mold. Maybe the staff or physician (this is my in general musing about a specialty I've never worked in-just as a patient and dealing with the patients we've seen referred to us by GYN) is uncomfortable discussing this. That doesn't cut it for me. But like I said, I have basically zero experience in GYN so I would welcome the chance to get educated by someone in the know.

RE:

VirginMonoblogger's picture
Sat, 10/22/2011 - 01:29
VirginMonoblogger

Jake E: You're so right. Having people in place to discuss sexual health is vital, especially for women. I just wish I were more comfortable discussing that stuff.

Heylin: Haha @ my reaction to the BS level. I immediately thought "Holy SHIT! What the hell were they fucking doing? Swallowing molasses and playing darts with their insulin needles?" Then I started thinking about Metformin and other shit that I should have gotten right on my test, but I didn't, lol.

But, yeah. I couldn't even bring myself to say "Currently, I think women are more my speed..." because I truly felt so physically vulnerable. I wish I could talk about all this shit with my clothes on. She asked if I was sexually active, and that's when I responded with the textbook thing. Then she said "Okay, so we don't need to discuss birth control." No, but we could discuss safe same-sex sex (if I needed to). Don't assume that it's straight sex or no sex.

I am confident in the thinking that she wouldn't have shown much of a surprise reaction had I have told her that. My friend told me I should have spoken up because "shit, she maybe she would have given me some free dental dams or something." I think non-hetero people are so few and far between that it's like an anomaly to come across one, so she doesn't bother asking.

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