Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross
Better Orgasms. Better World.
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Betty's Vaginal Barbell |
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My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir - EBOOK EDITION |
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Betty Dodson's Bodysex Workshop DVD |
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Betty Dodson Liberating women one orgasm at a time |
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Carlin Ross Sex, Politics & More Sex |
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Eric Amaranth Sex life coaching, real life erotica, and wellness |
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Lawrence Lanoff Reality Hacker. Sex Educator. Geek. |
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Liandra Dahl Sex Documentarian |
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LilithLand Women, Sex, Culture & Relationships |
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BorderReiver Restoring My Foreskin |
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Caitlin Bovard From the bible belt to under the belt |
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Caitlin Roberts Taking Back "Slut" |
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cajun sausage Lovin' Dr. Betty since 1996! |
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Christina Cicchelli Professional Pervert |
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Danny Wylde Male. Libra. Whore |
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Dr. Lulu History & the Material Culture of Sex |
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Emily and Ju Queer love |
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Eric Francis Astrology & Adventure |
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Jenn Parenthood. With Cursing |
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Jessica Kramer Liberating Birth |
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jexhibitionism 23. Canadian. Queer. |
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Kasini Poet. Educator. Catalyst. Mother. |
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LesleyS Redefining my sexual self after babies. |
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Logan Levkoff sexologist, sex educator, intellisexual, author, mom |
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Marisa Black Finding room for all of me |
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Marylou Naccarato Learn how to raise your level of “Sexability” |
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Palesa Art + Sex + Media + Empowerment |
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The ED Coach Pa... Helping Men Regain Their Sexuality |
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Princess What would my mother say? |
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VirginMonoblogger Thought all virgins were the same? Think again. |
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WildOrchid A selfsexual, toy loving, possibly bisexual total virgin |
The month of May has been a fucking whirlwind. I have never had so many positive things happen to me in such a short amount of time. I'm feeling all empowered and shit, so just stay with me here. All of this excited ranting has a point.
I have the BIGGEST intellectual crush on Dr. Christiane Northrup. She gives my brain such a hard-on. I don't think any other person has stimulated me (on the topic of women's health) like she has. Go buy "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" by her. I started reading it at the beginning of this month and I am jaw-dropped at some of the things she has written. We've all read books by doctors. We've all read books about a women telling her personal experience on certain topics. I, however, have never read a book by a woman who is a doctor (an OB/GYN) and she includes personal information about herself.
I always prefer books written in first person, and this one is. It is PACKED (the book is over 700 pages, not even including the other 200 of notes/the index) with so much vital information. It's valuable to women of ALL ages, because it goes deeper than "This is why cramps happen. You should take this." There are so many things that contribute to physical ailments that we don't even realize. It's about accepting that you're an emotional being and that it's a GREAT thing. She talks about "egg wisdom" and all of this amazing stuff that you (likely) didn't know existed right inside of you. God, you should see me when I talk about her to other people. I get all bouncy and excited (like I do when I talk about Betty Dodson). I love sharing knowledge with women. Speaking of, she has a Facebook page. "Like" her. She sometimes interacts with us in the comments and updates daily.
With all that said, by nature, I'm a pretty... heartless person (find out your personality type here. I'm an INTJ. Describes me PERFECTLY). When I do something wrong, I don't blame other people. I can think of a million reasons why I could have done it differently or better. I'm a big self-blamer. I'm the same way when it comes to the plight of women as a whole. I've always wondered why I'm so unsympathetic when it comes to my own sex, and I think I finally know why.
I expect more of us. I think so very highly of women. Truly, I do. I expect us to be able to make wise choices and balance all aspects of our lives with poise and complete self-assurance.
Well, fuck. *I* can't even do that shit, not all the time. I need emotional support. I make dumbass choices. I finally realized that I'm doing a massive disservice to myself and other women by writing them off as "stupid" for their choices, without caring to listen to the details or go deeper, because I'm the same way with myself. How bitchy. But, that's how I have always been. It's how my mom is. She takes EVERYTHING at face value and doesn't care to ever listen to the details of anything. Knowing we have that in common is enough of a reason for me to make a change.
I don't think of us as the superior sex (and DEFINITELY NOT the inferior sex, for that matter), but seriously? We're powerful. By "powerful," I'm not just talking about female doctors or lawyers; not just people who are out there changing the world before our eyes. I mean in general. We're powerful human beings. We have the ability to nurture EVERYONE and EVERYTHING, not just our own children. There's a reason we call it "Mother Earth" and "Mother Nature". We're fertility, wisdom, and nourishment: personified. That fucking blows my mind.
So, I said all that to say this: I'm actually learning to think with my heart. If you knew me in person, that would have just about knocked you over, because I'm a good listener, but rarely compassionate. I woke up yesterday, and the first thing that popped into my head, out of NOWHERE, was "I'm going to let my mind be my map, but let my heart be my tour guide." You know, sometimes you can be going on a trail and have a general idea of where you're going, but the tour guide always points out all of this amazing stuff you would have missed had you have been location-oriented. I can't NOT think logically. It's just something I do. But, I can have a healthy scoop of willful understanding and compassion during that process. Since making this choice a few weeks ago, I've been crying more. It seems like my hand is permanently stuck to my heart, because I always put my hand to my chest when I feel something deeply.
I felt empathy for the first time in my life last week. Me. Empathy. I didn't even know that shit was possible. I hurt *with* another person. Another woman in my life (MW, in fact), going through a rough time like I am, shared how she felt with me. I listened without judgment and I actually felt a new emotion, because I was open enough to allow it to happen.
The changes in my life seem to happen in stages. First, it was sexual. I didn't even realize it was something that was destined to change, but it was. Now, it's emotional. I always knew there had to be a reason why I'm so heartless and brutal, but I couldn't pinpoint it, and I need a damn good reason to change before I initiate it.
I have that reason. To be a better (and happier) person, I have to think with my heart. Something that's so natural, but I've been fighting it my entire life. It's like I'm losing my emotional virginity.
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Not to poop on your parade but
there are some problems with what Dr. Northrup is advocating. Like megadosing vitamins. Here's the link to the critique of her work. I'm not saying we have to completely discard her. Just that we have to be careful to check research about therapies we want to try out and then check if the research was carried out ethically.
[edit] I couldn't paste the link. Here's the url: http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/index.php/christiane-northrup-md-sci... [/edit]
If you want to swap book recs I would recommend Ben Goldacre's Bad Science. I finished this book (had it in audio format) in the shortest amount of time possible. If I got it in May I would have failed my "orgasm a day" quest more than twice. What else can be better than orgasms?
As crushes go for last year or two I've one on Cristopher Hitchens. Now he's very ill so he provokes in me feelings of compassion rather than lust but when he was better... Like a lot of people I assumed he was just over 40. Not 60. I could listen to his voice constantly. I even got off to it once - I mentioned it in my Masturbation May piece. He's so smart, so experienced, so bold. and he sometimes quotes dirty limericks ;).
heart filled with love!...
I believe we are all evolving on this new plane of "heart" centered love..I believe it is part of the universal love we all feel for each other in some way-form..we all are interconnected to that vastness of universal love..so heart centered is a way good place to be in!..yeah!...
As far as Dr. Northup she has some valuable ideas but Susan Weed who has been empowering women longer then I can even imagine is the wise women for me! here is a link to her wisdom...
http://susunweed.com/
RE
Orchid: Honestly, she has chapters in her book that are about diet/supplements and I don't pay much attention to them. I never even thought to include anything about them, because it's not what I focus on and it isn't something I choose to share with other people. Not because she's "wrong," but because I don't have any interest in changing my body by her standards. It just wasn't of interest to me. Everything I believe in that she "preaches" has nothing to do with medications or diet. It's all about emotional health. When she started talking about giving up dairy products, I was like "Lol, ice cream is delicious. Sorry." People negatively comment on her dietary teachings, too. Meh. I don't have to believe everything someone does is right in order to think that some of what they say is valuable. She has been an amazing guide in my quest for finding how to love people and to tap into my "inner wisdom."
About the sex/orgasms, she totally doesn't turn me on (shockingly). Not genitally. I mean, okay. When she's talking about clitorises and orgasms, we would all get a tingle down there, but her intellectual prowess is so intimidating to me, lol.
Dolfun: Aw, you're so right. We're all interconnected. I'm so partial to Dr. Northrup because I loved that she was a doctor but still so... Womanly. She's been honest about her experiences with having children (though she said it made her human, she doesn't knock the difficulty in raising kids). She values self-love and putting yourself first to grow and flourish so you can help everyone and everything aroud you do the same thing.
I'm checking out the website you posted!
In response to the article
Oh, and after reading that article, the writer seems to have a dislike for her teachings in general. Dr. Northrup just doesn't seem to be his (or her) kind of person, which is fine.
"Yes, she believes in astrology. Also in angels, mysticism, feng shui,
and Tarot cards. She believes her fibroids were trying to tell her
something when they enlarged. She “turned her life over to Source
energy.” and "Northrup’s writings are a disconcerting mixture of good science,
misinterpreted science, unproven and irrational treatments,
recommendations that are actually dangerous, pop psychology, mysticism,
and superstition."
...what's wrong with believing all of those things (in the first quote)? She also got her fibroid removed and she has had her tubes tied, so she still believes in the use of western medicine and isn't telling you to JUST follow what has worked for her. And lol @ "unproven/irrational treatments." Because everything needs to have a study to be proven true and every treatment that doesn't involve picking up a prescription pill bottle is irrational. I am so not trying to be Dr. N's biggest advocate and swing on her balls (or ovaries), but just when it comes to things that are holistic/homeopathic, several things are unproven or deemed unsafe by someone, somewhere, somehow. You just have to decide what's right for you and discuss that with YOUR doctor.
If you follow anyone's word as gospel, you're likely to end up fucking your life up, no matter what type of plan they're presenting you.
My Personal Vibe
Northrup: I checked her out last time you mentioned her in reference to the mothers day poem. I loved the poem and loved what you shared. It was the first time I had heard of her. My initial "vibe" (vibration-not sex toy) was not really positive. I felt her site was a bit "markety" (my own word).
I just didn't trust the feeling I got from her site. Which means nothing.
I figured she had some good link info, but I wasn't too interested in her advice. I do like the questions or ideas I get from scanning her site, i just don't want to follow her actual work.
It is amazing and I love that you are sharing the growth that you are experiencing VirginMonoBlogger.
Thank you so so much.
And Wild Orchid, I love that book you mentioned!
I like you quite a bit,
I like you quite a bit, Marias Chaos. :)
What about her is "markety"? What didn't you trust? Is it sounding like she's selling things in an effort to make a profit as opposed to the betterment of women?
Gah, I think she's awesome, lol. I'm hard-pressed to find any person in the media who isn't selling something. But, I completely respect your inner feeling to not trust her. Don't let my love for her change your opinion (though I don't think you would, lol).
Hey VirginMonoblogger... I am
Hey VirginMonoblogger... I am so happy to hear of your empathetic epiphany!! I have always loved your writing, but have felt you a bit "harsh." I always thought to myself, "Yes, but if you knew THIS...." As a 46 year old, I have tried to always, "put myself in another's shoes." It is difficult, but is worth the effort. I also love Christina Northrup....keep doing what you do. I wish I asked the questions you do, at such a "young" age. :)
Aw, thanks, girlfriday
Thank you so much. Yeah, I am so aware that I'm pretty... ruthless when it comes to others. It's a work in progress. :)
My therapist said the same thing. She was like "This is just very odd. Normally I have these types of conversations with people so much later in life. I'm so proud of you." It was nice to have confirmation that I'm making positive strides and changes. :D
What I love
What I really love about this site, is that we can all give our differing opinions and for the most part still be respectful and understanding without others being abusive and hostile(there are always exceptions of course).
You may be ruthless or come off harsh AT TIMES but the most important thing to me is that you continue to present dialog and information. I personally like rude and harsh. Well actually I like open and honest--which usually gets perceived as rude or harsh.
How boring would it be if we all agreed about everything!
SHARING HELPS US ALL
In reply to your question 'What about her is "markety"? '? I can't really sum it up easily or quickly. It is best I just go with the fact that the vibe was there for me, so I went with my gut.
.
..Normally when my life is not sooooo CHAOTIC I would actually try to explore that more, cause usually when we are pointing a finger at someone else it has to do a little with our own issues. If that makes any sense? For now--my children are looking to sabotage the peace I am trying to create by causing anarchy in my home.
VMB, you're definitely thought provoking!
I'd say I've never heard such wisdom from such a young one but with my oldest, of course I have. I like reading from everyone on here even when some of the blogs and posts really challenge my way of thinking and make me say to myself, "I would never do that!" And who cares? No one is making me.
VMB, keep on posting, you are teaching this 42 year old a lot.
Marias, I love reading your replies, you're very thought provoking and I feel like we are kindred spirits in some ways!
kindred
Thanks Heylin. ♥ I like your posts too!
You are taking me back to the days when I fell in love with Anne of Green Gables!
I wish we could all hang out once a week!
That might be too much woman power!
Although sometimes I have this idea/fantasy of Betty and Carlin having workshops to train some of us to preach the gospel of good sex so we can go forth and educate/liberate the public. Cause I'm really sick of seeing new HIV patients, women with chronic urinary tract infections, and all of this abstinence only sex ed foolishness!
VirginMOONblogger
Oh my gawd, for the first time ever I realized you are MONO not MOON. Mine eyes have deceived me! LMAO
I am jealous of you in many ways VMB, except for the Virgin and Mono parts! hahaha
I wish I was as informed, curious, and self aware as you are when I was your age.
Heylin, you know, I'm really
Heylin, you know, I'm really not intentionally thought-provoking. I never sit down and start typing and think "Oh, they'll eat this shit up!" It's truly whatever is going through my mind. I'm happy and humbled that anyone learns anything from my writing.
Marias Chaos, if there is such a thing as extremely mild dyslexia, I totally have it. It's really bad with numbers (I read them wrong more times that I read them correctly), so no judgment here, lol. I've been known to forget how to write 3's and 7's facing the correct way, and I called out people's totals backwards when I was a cashier.
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