Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross
Better Orgasms. Better World.
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Betty's Vaginal Barbell |
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My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir - EBOOK EDITION |
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Betty Dodson's Bodysex Workshop DVD |
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Betty Dodson Liberating women one orgasm at a time |
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Carlin Ross Sex, Politics & More Sex |
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Eric Amaranth Sex life coaching, real life erotica, and wellness |
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Lawrence Lanoff Reality Hacker. Sex Educator. Geek. |
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Liandra Dahl Sex Documentarian |
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LilithLand Women, Sex, Culture & Relationships |
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BorderReiver Restoring My Foreskin |
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Caitlin Bovard From the bible belt to under the belt |
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Caitlin Roberts Taking Back "Slut" |
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cajun sausage Lovin' Dr. Betty since 1996! |
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Christina Cicchelli Professional Pervert |
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Danny Wylde Male. Libra. Whore |
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Dr. Lulu History & the Material Culture of Sex |
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Emily and Ju Queer love |
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Eric Francis Astrology & Adventure |
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Jenn Parenthood. With Cursing |
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Jessica Kramer Liberating Birth |
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jexhibitionism 23. Canadian. Queer. |
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Kasini Poet. Educator. Catalyst. Mother. |
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LesleyS Redefining my sexual self after babies. |
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Logan Levkoff sexologist, sex educator, intellisexual, author, mom |
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Marisa Black Finding room for all of me |
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Marylou Naccarato Learn how to raise your level of “Sexability” |
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Palesa Art + Sex + Media + Empowerment |
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The ED Coach Pa... Helping Men Regain Their Sexuality |
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Princess What would my mother say? |
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VirginMonoblogger Thought all virgins were the same? Think again. |
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WildOrchid A selfsexual, toy loving, possibly bisexual total virgin |
Cute guy. We're very compatible. He wants sex. I want sex (more so with a woman than with him, but whatever). Neither of us wants a relationship and this could be 100% no strings attached. He's charming, so sweet, we like the same types of media, and fuck, he wears a cowboy hat (take of that what you will). Oh, and if I get pregnant, our baby will be friggin' adorable.
But, pump those breaks. He's fucked one of my friends. Not only fucked her, but he was her first partner. Ever.
Before explaining the reasons why I will (probably) not fuck him, let me just say that the "girl code" is such bullshit. People are not property. She does not own him, and I can fuck him if I damn well please. BUT, I have a bit of a problem having my second sexual partner be someone who had sex with a good friend... And he "took" her virginity. He would be "taking" mine too, and I don't know how I would feel about that in the future. Don't I deserve my own, personally exclusive virginity-taker?
I explained all of this to him and he responded with "We could do it and no one would have to know." Okay, but I would know (and FUCK other people who do know). And I know it would hurt my friend, because she had feelings for him before the sex actually happened, and now she has wounded feelings after.
That's really not my problem, though, in all honesty. I can't control how she feels. She's even told me she's "not like me" when it comes to sex and how I can separate emotion from desire.
There are millions of other men out there. Why him? If I had sex with him, it would hurt her. It would more than likely seem like I was doing it out of sheer ability as opposed to desire. Again, NOT my problem. How she perceives this situation has absolutely nothing to do with me. Why should I make certain choices about my life dependent on how other people will feel? Because I'm just not the kind of ruthless and careless bitch that I wish I was.
It's nice to feel wanted. He was doing everything in his power to convince me to do it (though I'm positive I'm not the first (or last) girl he has fed this shit to), but I've never been that simple-minded. It takes more than some sweet-talking to get these panties off. The problem is that I don't need convincing. Under normal circumstances, I probably wouldn't think twice about it. The problem is my conscience and the fact that I'm not willing to cause another person emotional pain just for the sake of having some orgasms.
I just feel like he's something new for me. Something different. Things aren't going super great around here, so it was just nice to have someone's positive attention, even if it was just because they wanted to get in my pants. I haven't had an orgasm in over a week (I'm more shocked than you are). The only erotica I've viewed are commercials and videos with Glenn Close and Jane Lynch. I feel like my pussy has a stuffy nose, because it's so constantly engorged and I never give it any release.
I am just exhausted. Physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually. Sex isn't something at the top of my list right now. My solo sex life is currently number five on my list of "Big Important Things". My partner sex life didn't even make the top ten.
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If you want your own virginity-taker...
You'll need to go young. Either that or spend a weekend out of town and play around. I hope that things straighten out for you. It sounds like your life is all over the place at the moment.
"He was doing everything in
"He was doing everything in his power to convince me to do it..."
That is what excludes him from consideration. A worthy guy will gracefully take your no as a no. Which is when you say 'oh what the hell, sure.'
I think :)
You should have let him give you a gorgeous manual orgasm. I might be wrong but it doesn't seem to have the same significance as intercourse which carries much more risk and needs a strict admissions policy. Manual orgasms would have given you both sexual release without breaking that policy.
Nicole24: Um, yeah... I can't
Nicole24: Um, yeah... I can't even see myself doing anything with anyone who is younger than me. The appeal is zero. I could get my virginity-taker here, but that would require for me to put myself out there and get to know people... That's not something I like to do on my own accord, haha.
Jake E: I feel like that's almost splitting hairs. The idea isn't "Have sex with him and hurt your friend" but it's more like "Get physically involved with him and hurt your friend." Anything more than friendly flirting is a bit much, in my opinion. Even if I had complete disregard for her feelings, I would NEVER hear the end of it and every time we talked, it would be hanging over my head. No thanks. Besides, the appeal of this situation is dead and buried, lol.
EM: In my response to the
EM: In my response to the other two (I guess your comment was still awaiting moderation, so I didn't see it), the reason why the situation is dead and buried is because of a conversation that followed this blog entry. He was being plain mean, calling me "childish" for making this choice. That was when I was like "...yeah, hell no."
Agreed
The girl code really is BS. :/
I like your reasoning. And I love your response to him calling you childish.
Btw, I'd love to hear about your Big Important Things list, can you make blog about it?
It clear to me that you're clear......cleraly
When I read the post yesterday, it seemed to me that you had pretty much decided against it by the end of the post. Good. Even before his "childish" cut, you were on to him, no matter how much you wanted to use him to jump start your libido.
I think I've said it before, and I continute to think, that you should wait until you have the oportunity to see a "professional." Someone who is ready to wow you with his sexual skill. Any thing less will not make as good a blog post. Any really, that's all I want from you, a good, slightly hurmous, blog post. It's all about me. hehe.
Jenikyula: Aw, you're sweet.
Jenikyula: Aw, you're sweet. On my list of important things... They're not majorly interesting, honestly. Things like "Surive nursing school" and "Find a good therapist" aren't things really worth reading about, in my opinion. :/
Chris: You're so cute. I actually look forward to the awkward fumblings of my first sexual experience, as weird as that sounds. Seeing a professional sounds extremely daunting.
"I feel like my pussy has a
"I feel like my pussy has a stuffy nose, because it's so constantly engorged and I never give it any release"
damn! reading that made me hard.
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