Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross
Better Orgasms. Better World.
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Betty's Vaginal Barbell |
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My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir - EBOOK EDITION |
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Betty Dodson's Bodysex Workshop DVD |
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Betty Dodson Liberating women one orgasm at a time |
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Carlin Ross Sex, Politics & More Sex |
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Eric Amaranth Sex life coaching, real life erotica, and wellness |
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Lawrence Lanoff Reality Hacker. Sex Educator. Geek. |
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Liandra Dahl Sex Documentarian |
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LilithLand Women, Sex, Culture & Relationships |
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cajun sausage Lovin' Dr. Betty since 1996! |
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Christina Cicchelli Professional Pervert |
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Danny Wylde Male. Libra. Whore |
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Dr. Lulu History & the Material Culture of Sex |
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Emily and Ju Queer love |
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Eric Francis Astrology & Adventure |
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Jenn Parenthood. With Cursing |
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Jessica Kramer Liberating Birth |
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jexhibitionism |
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Kasini Poet. Educator. Catalyst. Mother. |
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LesleyS Redefining my sexual self after babies. |
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Logan Levkoff sexologist, sex educator, intellisexual, author, mom |
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Marisa Black Finding room for all of me |
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Marylou Naccarato Learn how to raise your level of “Sexability” |
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Palesa Art + Sex + Media + Empowerment |
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Princess What would my mother say? |
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Solo Sexualist |
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VirginMonoblogger Thought all virgins were the same? Think again. |
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WildOrchid A selfsexual, toy loving, possibly bisexual total virgin |
I've talked about my boobs before. My friends tend to think that having big boobs would be the best thing ever. True, there are some major positives of having some bodacious tatas, but there are some negatives, too. So, dammit, I decided to make a list.
The PROS of having big boobs:
-Most shirts are going to look fantastic on you.
-When you're eating something, like dry cereal or pretzels, your boobs act as a great receptacle for crumbs and dropped pieces.
-You're pretty much guaranteed to be the life of a pool party if you're going to be wearing a bathing suit.
-Some days, you'll look down on your normal-chested friends because your boobs are looking abnormally amazing.
-People will compliment you on how great they look, and talk about how jealous they are. You'll smile coyly and compliment their shoes or something, but deep inside... You know that you love your boobs... Today, at least.
-Men love boobs. Enough said.
The CONS of having big boobs:
-Some shirts are either a: not going to fit correctly, or b: going to make you look like a slutty whore who is trying way too hard to get attention. But, I mean, hey... That can be a plus.
-Two words: Cleavage. Sweat.
-When you lay down without a bra on, things tend to spread out and fall back.
-You find things nestled in your cleavage, and you don't even know how they got there. i.e confetti, sprinkles, and/or small children.
-"Oh my god! I can fit my FACE into one cup of your bra!... Let's fill it with vodka."
-Forget about graphic tees. You're just giving people an excuse to stare (longer) at those bitches.
-Oh, you're pregnant? Well, be ready for those balloons to turn into blimps.
-You'll become unusually defensive toward those women who offer you a "free bra fitting".
-Sports bra? Bitch, you're going need actual titty equipment if you plan on going for a run. If not, you are becoming a danger to yourself and others around you. Also, jumping jacks can be used as a self defense move.
-Gravity is not your friend. When Ron Jeremy told the joke "What's the hair called between your grandmother's boobs? Her vagina", you didn't laugh. You took it as a forewarning of the inevitable.
-"SHOW US YOUR BOOOOOOBS!!!!" is going to be said more than your name at ANY party that you attend, whether people are sober or not.
-Motor-boating is going to become an actual (drunken) sport that people are going to beg you to take part in, but sometimes... They won't even ask.
Well, it seems like the cons outweigh the pros, but just about half of those negatives can BE positive things. These were mostly meant to give you a little chuckle, but take all things said with just a pinch of seriousness. ;)
-"Oh my god! I can fit my
-"Oh my god! I can fit my FACE into one cup of your bra!... Let's fill it with vodka."
I love that, I did shock myself when I realized that I could fit my head into the cup of my bra, I mean I know I have BIG Tits but holy crap I didn't know they were that big. Oh well gotta love my 40G's.
I have ALL of those
I have ALL of those problems. I hate it- the only things big tits have ever gotten me are back problems and a lot of creeps at my school staring at them. Oh, and a bunch of ill-fitting shirts that would've otherwise looked fine. I STILL haven't gotten to wear my Radiohead shirt I got last Christmas. And going braless? I have two words: pancake boobs.
Also- I'm a hairdresser, and until you've experienced it, you never know the horror of pulling a clump of other people's hair out of your bra and realising you have enough for a smallish toupee trapped in there. And you have no idea how it could've possibly made its way into the cups, because your shirt wasn't even low-cut enough to let THAT much slip in. Was it? None of the flat-chested stylists seem to have this problem...
And I don't care what my friend Melissa says- my DDs have NEVER gotten me a bigger tip. I'd have gotten more of them if that were true.
Agreed.
I'm the same - always a problem. I also managed to go a long time without realising that my head could fit into one of my cups! Quite funny really, but also a bit weird to realise that you have three parts attached to your torso (I'm including head here) that are HEAD sized.
I have huge troubles finding bras as well. Sports bras, normal bras - crikey, bikini tops are practically impossible!
Con - any bras that I DO find that fit, cost me at least £20 MINIMUM. That's about 30 US dollars. Which is fine, yeah sure ok, I'll pay that for something that fits nicely. Oh, girls with 34B cups can get sexier bra's for £5 ($8)? Yeah. That's fair. That's like putting larger price tags on larger sized clothes. Imagine how fat people would react if we said they have to pay more for bigger clothes.
Another con - the 'top heavy' joke. Seeing as I've had at least a DD cup since I was 14 (I'm now a G cup) I've heard this joke one too many times. No it's not funny. Yes I've heard it before. Yes my boobs are large. No you can't touch them.
Having said that, I wouldn't change them for the world. Love your body now, bitch about it later.
If you are totally flat...
...a little help may be OK. BUT men love SOFT boobs. Implants are quite hard to the touch. Just like your silicone dildo. Don't do this surgery on impulse
This was hysterical! To add
This was hysterical!
To add another bittersweet boob-issue: I love my body, but I'm a transguy with a D cup. Although I don't have a problem with my chest, personally, it's difficult to pass when my bound chest looks like anyone else's would in a light sports bra.
Luck to you lovely ladies, and ditto the comment that warns against implants (gravity is a force of nature, people!)
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