Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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She probably texted you because she trusts you. A friend once was worried she had an STD too and told me. I've had my sister approach me because she was worried she was pregnant after a split condom. You seem to talk about everything else - pussies, dicks, periods... so why not STDs?
And I also wouldnt be quite so vicious because you havent had sex yet. Its all very well you saying how you're going to act or behave when you start having it - whether you actually DO it or not is a different issue. You dont think people start having sex with the promise to themself that they'll always be protected? Of course they do. We all like to think we'll make the right choice.
But people fuck up. I've fucked up once or twice (thankfully I didnt suffer any consequences). I'd be willing to bet that Betty and Carlin have fucked up too (hell hasnt Betty had a number of abortions?)

So I'd refrain from making any judgment for the time being.

I totally get what your saying. I think im the same as your freind with the whole loosing my virginity and going crazy except im really saftey aware. I was already on the pill when i lost it and always have tons of condoms on me and I use them!
I admit i have had unpreteced sex a few times but with someone that I know and trust and we both know we've been clean and obviously I was on the pill.
If something ever did go wrong with my plan then yeh I would deal with it myself quickly and quietly. The reason Im so careful is, to be totally honest I hate condoms. I hate the feel of them and would rather have flesh to flesh but I know because of this preference I need to take extra care and come on- enjoying a slightly different sensation is not worth having a STD or a baby!
k xxxxxxx

I think it's awesome that she trusts me, and yeah, I talk about pussies and things of the like. I was just shocked that she would ask me (of all people) about STDs. Google works for all parties. We're just coming from different places. She thinks she has an STD, she texts people. If I were to think that I had an STD, I would make a doctor's appointment and do what I had to do.

Also, with your logic, I have to experience something in order to have a harsh opinion or pass judgment or recognize that it's wrong. Not hardly. She made a poor choice, bottom line. She admits it. She didn't make an effort to use a condom, so this is what happened. I'm not saying that I'll always be making good decisions about protection when I decide to start having sex, but who are you to say that I won't be?

And for what it's wroth, I don't quite understand what mentioning Betty and Carlin is supposed to do in this situation... Am I supposed to change my opinion?

KG, I agree with you completely and it's awesome you're taking precautions that fit well with your life. I wish my friend would follow your example. I mean, if she's okay with having a throat full of infection or a crotch full of crabs, then go for it. I just have a hard time being sypmathetic to people who (frequently) act now and think later.

I don't like writing negative comments on blogs I usually enjoy but--I can't get this entry out of my head. Are you calling your friend a whore?! Because she didn't use a condom? Or because she's expressing her sexuality with partners of her choosing? Getting an STD is quite a sobering and humiliating experience....and she confides in you and you write a super smug/judgy entry on a public blog??

Also: "raging STD?" "gonorrhea-riddled??" HELLO! Gonorrhea is SO NOT a big deal. There was zero mention of your friend's partner and his role in this "mistake", the choice to be unprotected was both of theirs and you could try to sympathize with your friend for trusting someone who possibly knowingly exposed her to an STD.

I know you like to think you are soooooo open-minded and knowledgeable about sex but posts like this are NOT sex-positive and they are VERY anti-woman. Great, you masturbate and love your pussy but it would be great if you could stop judging other women for making "mistakes" and expressing their sexuality in whatever capacity they see fit. Especially when you are still very ignorant and inexperienced yourself and are relying on them and TLC (?!) for blogging ideas.

I look forward to your posts having more depth and after you gain some perspective--some of your posts have been great, but your smugness makes me nauseous.

No, I don't think she's a whore. I... Don't even know how define a whore, to be honest. I just love how I'm being called ignorant because I think that fucking some guy without a condom is a bad idea when you don't know his status. If I WASN'T a virgin and I was fucking with a condom every single time (meaning I would have "experience"), would my opinion hold more water? Go figure. Also, I put it on a public blog...? Um... If I can't be honest in a BLOG, where can I be honest? There was no breach of confidentiality. Hell, for all you know, I made this shit up. "Gonorrhea is so not that big a deal", but "STDs are sobering and humiliating"... Uh, okay. I suppose, in your mind, with experience comes knowledge. Not always (clearly).

I don't sympathize with her. Sorry. I agree that they are both responsible for protection. She even admitted that she's an adult and shouldn't have these problems. Friends can think friends make bad choices. I could see if I said "Wow, you raunchy venereal-disease-carrying whore. You're pathetic." I didn't say that to her and I don't feel that way. I just think she made a poor choice.

Where did I say "When I start having sex, I'll be prefect and never possibly get an STD!". At the end, I said "I'd LIKE TO THINK I would be smart enough to use protection." I may be perfect and never fuck up, but likely not. I sure as hell wouldn't expect sympathy for the choice(s) I made.

Also, since you mentioned it, I don't "rely" on anyone for "blogging ideas". I've mentioned TLC all of twice in my almost 100 blog entries, so I don't see how you've deemed it my main source of information. Please.

"Gonorrhea is SO NOT a big deal." Seriously? I think any STD is a big deal. I'm sure my boyfriend would think it's a big deal if I told him I had Gonorrhea. It would be certainly be a deal-breaker for me if my partner had an STD. Sorry, I'd like to remain uninfested. The only logical explanation for that comment is that you either have Gonorrhea, or have something so much worse that it makes Gonorrhea look like a runny nose.

VMB--I don't fault you for thinking she could have done things differently. I just think that your overall tone was negative and as a woman, I turn to my girlfriends for support not to be reminded of a mistake I probably already feel bad about. And you probably WILL "make mistakes" once you start having sex. When I was a teenager I was very book-smart regarding STD's and sex education and got on the pill before I even started having sex. But despite that I have made my own bad judgement calls from time to time. And things I thought were unthinkable when I was younger or less experienced I felt differently about later....and not just sexually--in all aspects of my life.

I meant that STD's are humiliating to admit because of the stigma placed on them in our society and (yes,) ignorance of some (look at the comment below me...'It would be certainly be a deal-breaker for me if my partner had an STD. Sorry, I'd like to remain uninfested. ...'

WTF??? Gonorrhea is inconvenient but easily treated with antibiotics. It is far from permanent and in fact lasts about as long as a runny nose from what I understand. I have never had an STD but I am not afraid of any of them except for HIV and HPV (due to the cancer risks) Even herpes, which has no cure is not much more than an inconvenience.

I get checked out VERY regularly (because left untreated any STD or STI can affect your reproductive and overall health) and am safe with most partners but I have had unprotected sex--usually when drunk. I feel lucky to have avoided them but I really don't think most of them are a big deal. I believe in honesty and would like to know if someone I am going to be intimate with has an untreated STD or other health issue but I don't think it's my business to know whether they have EVER had one.

I know that I am not your demographic. I am in my thirties, have kids, etc. so some of the things you post about I don't relate to at all. I was just offended by your choice of title and thought you were disrespectful towards your friend. I thought the same thing when you wrote about your other friend's engagement and relationship. It was also extremely judgmental. I have blogged for years and know it's hard to ride the line between being honest and protecting the people you write about, but I would be pissed and hurt if I came to my friend for advice and she wrote a harsh blog entry about it. But who knows, maybe she said it was cool for you to blog about it. Whatever.

My point was just that going "bareback" doesn't make you a bad person...and most people I know have done it at some point in their sexual lives....and to keep reacting to minor STD's with disgust and fear will just keep people from talking about them and therefore keep them passing on to others.

With the title, I was referring to myself with my whole "semen
fantasy". Not her and her choices. I don't know how many partners she's
had. Maybe two. Maybe 20. To me (and a lot of other people), no STD is
"minor". We've been taught that it's shameful and disgusting, which is
why I was the one that had to urge her to make a doctor's appointment
to go and get tested. They can all be avoided when having consensual
sex. I understand what you mean. They're not the worst thing in the
world, but it would suck hardcore to get one. Just because I disagree
with the choices she made doesn't make me "anti-woman". Women (or in
this case, ONE woman) can be wrong, too. How was I supposed to respond to the text? "CONGRATS!"? I told her what she needed to do and that she should think harder next time, with which she agreed. I kept my opinions to myself (and my blog) because I knew she knew she made a poor choice and beating her up over it wouldn't solve anything.

I don't "target" anyone for my "demographic". I write about what
I want and how I feel. It irritated me when you said that I "rely" on
people (and tv?) for my blogging ideas. The majority of the shit I
write about is completely about me and my (limited) experiences. How
was writing about my friend's engagement extremely "judgmental"? I
stated only facts. I didn't say it would end in divorce, or that he would beat her, or that one of them will cheat, or anything that could break a relationship apart. It seems like you take anything negative as a shot
against women and "judgmental". I state things how I see them from my standpoint (doesn't everyone?). I've never been the type of person to come to for sympathy and coddling, especially in situations like this.

You also said "I know you like to
think you are soooooo open-minded and knowledgeable about sex". Wait...
I do? Maybe that's the idea you've gotten, and that's really
unfortunate, because I'm not extremely knowledgeable about sex. I AM open-minded, which is why people talk to me about things of the sort. You can be open-minded while giving realistic advice and opinions. Open-minded doesn't equal agreeing with everything someone does. I'm still figuring out what type of sexual person I am, so I sure as hell don't know everything. I just hate the "oh, when you experience it, you'll understand" debate. I don't have to experience getting an STD to know that I should have made better choices.

But, all that aside, you've made really good points and made me think harder about my opinion on the issue. My opinion has changed at all, but I see it in a different way than I did before.

"I meant that STD's are humiliating to admit because of the stigma placed on them in our society and (yes,) ignorance of some (look at the comment below me...'It would be certainly be a deal-breaker for me if my partner had an STD. Sorry, I'd like to remain uninfested. ...'"

Sorry, but I'm not ignorant about STDs (no apostrophe, BTW), or anything for that matter. I would never put myself in that type of situation. That doesn't make me ignorant, it makes me intelligent.

I can't imagine telling a friend (upon the epiphany) I think I may have an STD, as if she carries antibiotics in her purse. But if indeed I did, I'd be subject to being judged (whether my friend said it out loud or just thought it). Then again, I also acknowledge that I'm subject to being judged anywhere by anyone, including by medical professionals. STDs are icky. No one WANTS to have/get an std. And I don't think most of the people spreading stds know they are carrying stds because who wouldn't try to get that treated once they found out? Few people rattle off a list of the stds they've had (or have?) proudly. I mean, fuck who you want, where you want, when you want, but do realize that most people are not opinionless.