Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I went to a wedding this weekend. I love weddings. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve been married, or divorced, or how many other marriages I’ve seen that mightily struggle. It just doesn’t matter.

It has been said that the one thing that differentiates us from animals is our ability to HOPE.

Maybe that’s it.

When I watched my nephew walk down that aisle and await his bride’s entrance, my heart was full. I felt his awe and his joy. This is not a young man, 33 years old, who has known what love and intimacy is – surely not by example. He grew up in a broken home with a mother who loved him but was in no way able to provide him with the consistency, stability, or financial flexibility to thrive. She did love him, I’m sure, but her challenges were mighty.

My sister began her drug career at an early age. She struggled to free herself and when she finally did, she had a fall, went back in hospital and began her love of painkillers. She was so addicted that I believe she purposely injured herself so she could stay in a nursing/rehab home. She got her meds and no junkies were knocking on her door. Not only was she addicted to meds but the meds deteriorated her bones and compromised her organs until she virtually disintegrated before our eyes. She was 58. I think.

My sister had a daughter too, from another man she divorced, actually I’m not sure that she ever married. He was an alcoholic.

My sister tried again to parent both children but was sorely limited and when my mom passed away, I think that was the final blow.
Her daughter ultimately called the police when she was 12, and off she went to foster care and my sister back on the street.

There are many more ugly details but this short summary is just for the sake of marveling at the human spirit.

So my nephew entered the armed forces at 17 and remains there today. He built his career and insured his future the only way he could. It makes sense but doesn’t speak to the intellect he possessed that will not be educated fully. It doesn’t speak to the trauma that inhabits his brain and fuels his anger and his fierce opinions about many things, right and wrong.

But there he was. In a tuxedo and a big smile.

Here’s the other amazing thing. He found a woman who is not only gorgeous, but educated, professional, kind and independent. And better still, she has a strong, connected large family, male and female, who have embraced my nephew and seem to be learning to love him.

It’s also worth mentioning that my niece will be absorbed by this new family too. Maybe she’ll be able to smile one day soon.

There was a rose on an empty chair next to me, for my sister. How proud she would have been. She never had a break, never had a break.

It was hot and steamy that summery day in the deep south, but no one complained about the weather. The sun was shining. The vows were spoken.

And for right now, all’s right with the world.