Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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This is a very interesting and disturbing entry into the abyss called “AGING.” Worse, this is one of those subjects that defy one’s ability to stay level headed and reasonable – if you are an aging woman – or her daughter.

We talk so much on this site about good sex and all its parts. Our audience is concerned and hungry for advice, education and a supportive environment in which to express themselves.
One of our ongoing conversations is about body image, the cruel and unstoppable magazines that float forever-damaging images into our faces. We eagerly deplore them and cannot, at the same time, get enough of them.

Even on these pages we talk about our sexuality as though we are either perfect little virgins or consummate lovers- if we practice better masturbation or reserve a sex coach for the day.
In all fairness, we talk a lot about self acceptance too.

So here’s the dilemma – and the rub.

Other than the obvious, how do we continue or learn to love our aging bodies when the men in our lives have penises made young by Viagra. This is a serious problem.

Have you read anywhere about the gels or lotions that will plump up our vaginas, make our lubrication sweet and copious? Have you heard of a remedy that will physically turn back the clock on our atrophied vaginas and make them ready to be penetrated by a penis the size of say – a 40 year old?

In a healthy male all he really has to do is have desire, a willing partner, and swallow a pill. Good to go.

What a women has to do is maintain vaginal health by taking a hormone, in either patch or suppository form, continue to practice exercising her muscles, use other forms of lubrication, and she’s, well, kind of ready to go. Although the female of the species can claim her orgasms till the day she dies, and multiply too, her ability to have pleasurable intercourse becomes more fragile as she ages. Her anatomy is not that of a 30 year old despite all this primping and priming. It was not meant to accommodate a large phallus.

So, here’s the rub. Instead of listening to all the literature on anti-aging and which cream to purchase, which surgeon to hire, should we not also be in pursuit of age acceptance At least to the degree that we don’t end up competing with the men for viable sex partners
The one really scary and just not acceptable change is the new pressure for the aging woman to keep up with her newly invigorated partner. He’s turned back the clock with a pill and at the end of the day all she can do is give really good oral sex—and receive it. What’s even worse is that though men get great erections with medication, many, many older guys, can’t ejaculate. So now, even if his partner can tolerate some thrusting, he needs to thrust more – and more. She gets only more and more sore.

It’s just not fair.

Until a remedy can be developed that makes a vagina plump and flexible and juicy like the pretty young thing she once was, I cry, FOUL!!

We’ve come a long way baby – not far enough and don’t call me baby!! (With kudos to Virginia Slims cigarettes – when my vagina was young and perky).