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He Was Nice Looking, My Age & Educated, Very Funny & Had Good Teeth

Tue, 02/22/2011 - 13:46
Submitted by Princess

In case anyone is wondering about my date, here’s the update.

The wind was so ferocious; I almost didn’t make it to the car. Is this an omen? Maybe I should just beg off.

Actually, before I got out the door was the inevitable and annoying obsessive conversation in my head -- What should I wear.

How do I want to look? Typically I’d be wearing jeans and boots, some crazy leathery jewelry, interesting but absolutely not seductive. Should that be different this time? It is a DATE after all. I ended up wearing pants, an ancient but great little Armani jacket, a leather bracelet, fishnet stockings, black, and then, oh no, could it be, a two inch heel. That was a surprise – to me. I wore my hair messy but pulled back but not in my typical ponytail. I looked great.

When I arrived at the restaurant and presented myself to my date who had already been waiting in the bar, good sign, he was speechless. I mean come on what was he expecting.  He had, I later found out, already checked out my website, my match.com page, read my profiles and saw all my pictures including my family. He said,” Wow you look even better than your photos. “ Just another guy blinded by the light.

I know I sound like such a little sh----.

I have discovered that most women on dating sites lie about their age, their weight, the years that have passed since their pictures were taken, too. How do they ever manage to go on a date without terror at the obvious lies they’ve put out?

So, he was nice looking, my age, (old), and educated, very funny and had good teeth. I didn’t get a good look at his shoes, but he was dressed well.

We talked for four hours, can you believe four hours. That’s a record. I mean I know how to talk – its kind of what I do for a living, but if it weren’t amusing I would have given it two hours at most. When a man takes you out to a nice place for dinner and drives an hour to see you, I think he’s owed some conversation.

He has, on paper, all the requisite stats to make him a potential keeper. But, he did not knock my fishnets off. Can anyone do that for me anymore? And the larger question, if someone does that may mean DANGER, DANGER!!

I continue to wonder, given that very obvious and repeating awareness, if I could be intimate just for the fun of it. In other words, what is attraction really about? Does it have to be a physical thing or can it develop over time. Do you have to do it and practice to make it work? I haven’t a clue. Any advice would be welcome.

Should I see him again? Absolutely.

How do I feel about it? Lukewarm, as in, not excited.

What would my mother say?

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Congratulations on your

Tue, 02/22/2011 - 15:20
deera (not verified)

Congratulations on your encounter not being a total flop.  So many of my friends who have met men online have had some horror stories.
Maybe first of all, you have to ask yourself what you want from him.  Does this guy, as Betty has said, "get your clit hard"?  Straight men will want to fuck any woman as long as she looks good, she doesn't even have to say anything.  I know that sounds harsh, but that is reality.  If a man doesn't think a woman looks good and his dick doesn't get hard, he's not going to fuck her.  He doesn't sit around wondering if attraction will eventually be there.  
How had attraction worked for you in your past relationships.  Did it take you a while to warm up to someone?  I married my first husband because I liked him as a person and we had a lot in common but I was not sexually attracted to him.  I thought that I would eventually feel hot towards him but even after fifteen years of marriage, I didn't.
For me, being intimate with someone "for the fun of it" would involve me having to be very sexually attracted to someone.  I no longer want to be involved with someone sexually if I am not really into it.  
I like how you mentioned awareness.  So many times I think we do things without being the least bit aware of why we do them, myself included.  Do you want just a physical touch?  Maybe just a massage or something similar?  Have you made plans to see him again?
I look forward to the update!!!

Even so...

tom.penry's picture
Tue, 02/22/2011 - 15:42
tom.penry

...I would recommend a little more assertiveness on your part, Princess. I am sure he was as nervous as you were. did you pick up so menaingful visual clues? Were his clothes taylored or off-the-rack. Was there some reason for the tie-shirt-jacket combination? Did he pay? Did he offer the full menu? Did he suggest a wine?
   Did you get the feeling he could pay for half, most or all of an LTR?

Did he playfully suggest sex? He may not have been expectoing any, but he want to send the subtle message he found you sexy.

Let me know your thoughts, here or by PM
~Tom

Let me clarify and thanks for

Tue, 02/22/2011 - 16:53
lsjb (not verified)

Let me clarify and thanks for the response.
Yes, to all your questions.
The problem is not him, the problem is me.
I am not attracted to him because he is not 50, he's 67. Forgive me, he is age appropriate but he doesn't have the skin I'd love to touch.  He was very generous, and hinting about his interest, but for me it's too early or too lacking in the elusive "chemistry."

My question is really about having sex just for sex sake or needing to satisfy my standards in the physical realm.  I sound awful, I know it. The fact is all my life I have been interested in very few men, although I've found enough to have had a solid sex life.  The pickings are much slimmer now. I don't know if I should just try to change my paradigm and look for a wonderful companion. Maybe I should learn to close my eyes.
I don't seem to have matured very much in this way have I.  I still sound like I'm 20.
Doesn't bode well.

You sound like a piece of

Tue, 02/22/2011 - 21:46
Kinda Anonymous (not verified)

You sound like a piece of work.

i know.  I am. 

Wed, 02/23/2011 - 14:20
lsjbaby (not verified)

i know.  I am. 

If he was showing some interest...

tom.penry's picture
Wed, 02/23/2011 - 15:12
tom.penry

...and was a generous host, don't be your own worst enemy. When he calls back, invite you your place for a home-cooked dinner. If it goes smoothly invite him to stay for breakfast. If 'It' just isn't there say so. He may be a tad hurt, but not deeply. At this age(I am 69)he has options. While yours may be fewer, you do have options, too.
~Tom
knave789us@gmail.com if you want my private thoughts on this matter.

The Date!

Thu, 02/24/2011 - 15:10
Tris (not verified)

Greetings:)

I haver just recently tried online dating and it is trying because people can say anything, post any old picture and, take their sweet time writing out responses - romance is spontaneous!

Chemistry is a scent that makes you hunger for more... a look suspended by visual stimulation... a chorus of facial expressions that crescendo in a smile... a touch that fans the embers of your soul... et cetera, rah, rah.

To me, virtual reality cannot hold a candle to vital chemistry:)

Have fun:)

Tris

Princess needs a younger man

Sat, 07/09/2011 - 14:52
Alan B.

I think you'd find the right chemistry w/ a younger man.

perhaps perhaps, where do i

Sat, 07/09/2011 - 15:19
lsjbaby (not verified)

perhaps perhaps, where do i find him?

flirt more...........

Sun, 07/10/2011 - 06:11
Alan B.

Strike up conversations out in public.  I used to meet older women at singles dances.  A few at health clubs.  Some at school.  Younger men are quite receptive to advances.  Just make sure they're over 18!

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