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Does Size Matter?

Thu, 06/09/2011 - 17:25
Submitted by Lawrence Lanoff

Ask a Republican. They seem to be up in dicks about the size of Weiner’s weener. It looks pretty beefy to me so - good for Weiner. Bad for Republicans.

They claim the issue with Weiner is that he sent “lewd” pictures and texts to somebody other than his wife. In order for this scandal to make any sense, we have to agree that the highest values of all are Republican Christian values. One god created hetero man, wed-locked to one god created hetero woman. This is the highest form of god realized coupling. Oh, and of course, all congress people adhere to this god-given norm since congress is divine.

Clearly anything that violates a hetero-married-o-coupling is evil, including twittering clothed cock shots to random women.

Forget the fact that, over the course of my life, I have had more sexually repressed priests, teachers, politicians and born again Christians try to have sex with me than a big cow walrus on an ice flow in the spring - but that’s another blog for another day.

Do we really care about Weiner? Really? He sent pictures to women other than his wife? No shit. I’m sure that good Christians everywhere believe he’s going to burn in the mythological land o’ hell for that. Hopefully hell will have wi-fi by the time Weiner gets there.

Look, people want and need sex. They get it anywhere they can. Sex is part of life. Technology is part of life. That’s how it goes. I’m sure we all find this hard to believe, but congress people like sex too. With strangers sometimes.

So, what is the real issue? I think it’s size.

If the weener in question was a little, tiny, mushroom bump, in a pair of underwear, there wouldn’t be all this spew. Instead there’d be sympathy and a bunch of late night TV jokes about the big congressman and his wee little assistant congressman.

To me, this is really an issue of pompous political penis pandering. The Republicans want this Democrat out because the bottom line is this: Weiner delivers the meat - and that royally pisses the little dicks off.

Reality Hacker. Sex Educator. Geek.
lawrencelanoff.com

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Consent

Thu, 06/09/2011 - 22:34
Canberra (not verified)

I thought the problem was that at least some of the recipients of the pictures didn't request them.  It's fine to send images of your genitals to whoever, but only if they also want to receive them.

reminds me of how the

Fri, 06/10/2011 - 07:24
Narurin (not verified)

reminds me of how the Australian prime minister (an unmarried career woman with a long term live-in boyfriend and no children) keeps getting told by the other main political party leader that she is a bad PM because she can't understand the plight of Australian families. The person who says this most is Tony Abbot, the Liberal Party leader who is against abortion and takes a lot of pride in the fact that he's a practising Christian conservative.
What pollies do in their personal lives has
nothing to do with us and should be off-limits for their opposition to
use as political fodder.

Agree

Fri, 06/10/2011 - 13:54
Dorssey

I agree with your post.  Anyone who is a prominent public figure (and for that matter is not a prominent public figure) and is sending out pictures of his or her private parts unsolicited, and on top of that has identified him or herself as the sender, is at best a reckless thrill seeker.  

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