Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I have a big problem. I’m addicted to showers. I love the water. The water makes my body feel really good. I know it’s evil and wrong. Still I like it.

I’m a very dirty boy.

I especially like to take off all my clothes when I shower, alternating hot and cold water against my naked flesh.

I know it’s wrong, but still, at least once a day - sometimes two - I’m compelled. My addiction is so severe that showering is one of the first things I think about in the morning.

What is wrong with me?

This was my response to a friend of mine after he confessed his “sex addiction” to me.

I asked him to describe his symptoms exactly. He thought I was making fun of him. Hardly. I sincerely wanted to understand what he believed to be the overwhelming evidence of his addiction.

He told me that he thinks about sex, a lot. Several times a day in fact. At times, It keeps him from getting other things done. Sometimes, he admitted shamefully, he even puts sex in front of another person’s needs.

This is the kicker; no matter how hard he tries to not think about sex, he can’t control himself. “I’m disgusted with myself,” he said defeatedly, “and my lack of spiritual integrity.”

When I told him that I didn’t really believe in sex “addictions”, I could see blood flow back into his face, relieved I didn’t shame him further for his failed, miserable, disingenuous life.

I pointed out that he has certainly wasted more time thinking about, and worrying about his sex addiction than he had clocked actual hours of tangible fucking. Perhaps it was insensitive of me - but I called him a pathetic sex addict - right to his face.

Contrary to pop-psychology myth, suppression of thoughts doesn’t work to stop thoughts.

Research tells us that, if I tell you not to do something - or worse yet - not to think about something, it becomes nearly impossible.

If I tell you right now for example, for the next two minutes, to try NOT think about - and most certainly don’t enjoy visualizing - a naked, oiled down, green Leprechaun, with a rather large schlong, a boisterous personality, and big appetite for sex, having unbridled pleasure with a bevy of happy barn animals, you would find it nearly impossible to follow my instruction.

That’s the joke of our human brains. Regardless of how spiritually evolved we take ourselves to be, our brains are sloppy, error prone, sexually oriented, and highly suggestible. This makes our conclusions about things very unreliable.

What thousands of years of sexual suppression should be teaching our error prone brains is that suppression of sexuality doesn’t work.

But surprisingly, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, we continue to believe in the evils of sex, and the virtues of sexual suppression as a highly evolved way of life.

How do you feel about “sex” addictions? Frankly, It’s maddening to me.

I need to take a shower.