Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

Carlin recently posted about breastfeeding in public not being a big deal. Some of her Facebook friends got pretty worked up and it sparked quite the conversation. So I thought I’d post some beautiful pics of Maggie Gyllenhaal nursing in public and say a little something more.

I love everything about these. I love that she nursed publicly and obviously. I love that the paparazzi took pictures. I love that she and her baby look so comfortable and that you see joy in her face. You can see the intimacy she and her baby are sharing. You can see pleasure and play.

Here are two stories from the same day about dad's delivering their own babies. We hear these stories pretty frequently - mom labors so quickly she ends up birthing in the car, at home, on the subway with no one there to help except the father....or the train conductor, or cab driver, etc.

I like these little stories. Sweet and human reminders that when left alone, it usually works just perfectly and with a fun story.

In the second of these two stories the reporter says things were going so fast, "dad pulled over...and delivered baby HIMSELF!"

Between 2004-2009 homebirth rates in the US rose by a huge 29%. While the percentage out of total births in the US was still extremely low (as of 2009 it was .72% of all births) the change is a notable shift. And a shift that may account for why the American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) started a veritable smear campaign around 2009.

Though at the present time, the percentage of homebirths doesn't have much impact on the big business of obstetrics, if it continues to rise at a rate of 29% every five years, it won't be long before ACOG and hospitals start feeling that loss of business.

There was a recent article published in The Washington Post and on Slate called “The Truth About Epidurals”. This article presents some neutral information but chooses language that favors epidurals and it reinforces ideas that childbirth is nothing more than painful and scary.

Conveying a similar message to the article is a sign I photographed on the wall of a labor and birth room at a local hospital:

 

A woman can birth her baby with an experience of empowerment and deep connection to herself and her baby - something I have seen many times. The power of a woman birthing her own baby can take place at home, in the hospital or in a birth center. It can take place in the care of a midwife or a doctor.

Aviva Romm was a homebirth midwife for over 20 years before attending Yale Medical School and becoming a family practice doctor. Her experience catching her own grandchild captures what I see, day in and day out in homebirth and hospital birth:

Robin Lim is a midwife and community health advocate. She lives in Bali where she has created a health and birth center run on donations.

Robin and her work illustrate that gentle birth in an out of hospital birth center or home truly can lead to safe births for moms and babies alike. Her model of care truly is woman-centered.

"Every baby's first breath on Earth could be one of peace and love. Every mother should be healthy and strong. Every birth could be safe and loving. But our world is not there yet."

I just read an excellent piece from Bitch Magazine.

A commentary that uses the depiction of childbirth from one particular new TV show, to explore depictions of women giving birth on television and in the movies. It’s easy to use one particular depiction to explore them all, because they all depict the same thing.

Woman giving birth = raving lunatic. If she wants a natural birth she is a raving lunatic plus control freak.

The problem?

This morning Carlin sent me a link to this youtube video.  Videos like this make me angry. This video, though self-described as educational, does not provide education. The only accomplishment I see in this video is a video documentation of one doctor’s ability to get one particular baby out quickly.

Since my last post about finding our voices as women I’ve seen several articles, blog posts and Facebook comments, along with a couple personal experiences related to this subject. So much so I feel like I need to do a series of posts about this subject.

The first time I met Betty and Carlin, we talked about the process of finding our voices and learning to speak up. I said I had learned through being a doula and speaking up in large medical environments for other women first.

Through this I learned to speak up for myself in all different environments. Betty said she went to art school because she could express herself without needing to speak. It was in later years that she learned to use her voice. Carlin said she went to law school so she could learn to speak up.

So here we are, three women dedicated to speaking up for ourselves and supporting and guiding other women to speak up for themselves, and we all needed to take indirect routes, of sorts, to get there.

Amnesty International recently published this ad in an effort to raise awareness about the United States Maternal Health Care Crisis. It is, indeed, a crisis.

 

Question: What if the baby has a cord wrapped around its neck?
Answer: The midwife or doctor removes it from around the baby’s neck.

It truly is that simple.

But, that answer doesn’t address what that question is really about - the pervasive fears people have about childbirth. And, I believe, the pervasive fears we have about childbirth is really the pervasive fear we have about our bodies; our deeply animal, unpredictable, sensitive and resilient bodies.

Conversations about circumcision are really important.  As I strongly recommend women become fully informed when pregnant and giving birth - that they fully understand the implication of all the choices they make -  I strongly recommend parents do the same with regard to circumcision.

As with everything else in parenting you can only do what feels most deeply right to you as you are the one raising the child, and this applies to circumcision. Your family, religion and friends are not raising your son and there will, undoubtedly be many decisions you make that break from the expectations of those around you and circumcision may be one. Make the decision that you know, in your heart, to be right.

My experience of childbirth, having witnessed hundreds of births, is that it is an astounding, miraculous event that deeply impacts birthing mothers and those who are in attendance.

Childbirth, while certainly unknown and an event of huge transition, is an event that one can look forward to, be excited about, have trepidation and fears about, and emerge feeling like a stronger woman than she ever knew herself to be, that she had a deep experience of herself and much more.