What To Do When They Forget What You Want In Bed

Thu, 01/24/2013 - 10:07
Submitted by Eric Amaranth

Your partner is missing a crucial detail pertaining to something your body and/or your mind really enjoys or needs for satisfying sex/orgasm. The two of you are into communicating, so you tell them.

They receive the info and in this case, zero in and make fireworks happen. However, the next time, the same mistakes are made. This can be very frustratin and eventually anger-triggering. What to do?

Different things can be creating this issue or a combination of them. The notables are:

1.) Busy Week: People have a lot of things on their plate. A great way to keep track is keep notes in your phone for what you definitely want to remember to do next time. Two things. That’s all. If you know some sex will be happening soon, check your notes for a quick reminder. Repetition is power and so are reminders.

2.) Overwhelming Desire version 1: This happens a lot with men. Their minds are pulled into the hotness they see and are doing with their partner, which is fine, but narrows the focus too much. It makes them forget to field the desired skill. One great thing to do is pre-plan to check your list, then find the one thing of the two that’s the most important or hot for your partner. Then, visualize/fantasize doing that to her/him and the hot responses they’ll give you. Which to many of us is erotic and also feels good to know you’re doing a good job. Finally, do that to them.

3.) Overwhelming Desire version 2: Happens a lot with women, but men also. You want intercourse. Bad. Right now. You skip over the thing(s) you have to remember and go straight there. Your man serving up your orgasms and it’s over. (this is a very common pattern). Give him or her a reminder in a hot spoken way. That will redirect usually. Or, go with the flow, then do the desired thing afterward. Sex does not begin and end at male orgasm.

4.) Not Prioritizing Their Partner’s Desires: It can be a new thing for people to be more conscious of sexual details and sequences when they have just let Nature take its course. This is one of the worst side effects when people follow the old directive of, “Sex just comes naturally.”

That means it’s all about his orgasm and hers is left in the dust. This is a great example of when just plain old natural isn’t good enough. The moment you decide to make your sex life better, you adopt a design mode into how you think about sex. You plan in advance. It’s a new way of doing sex. You’ll come back to naturally, but for now let it go and create something new that incorporates both his and her orgasm.

Sex life coaching and neo-male perspectives.

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