A piece of my day for you all, here are two snippets of emails between me and two individual women sex life coaching clients. The first is from "Lilly" and the second is from "Tara" (both names changed). Lily's feedback is about big successes with her manual sex skills for men that I coached her on while Tara's is a longer piece on finding the way to more intense pleasure and orgasm via sex life coaching since discovering D&R and also some feedback on what she'd recently created for herself. I jam back and forth with clients to the extent they feel comfortable on their progress with what I teach them. You'll find my thoughts and reflections after each section. Then, look in the comments section below! Tara comments on some of my thoughts.
Thought you would like to know I used your handjob technique and the guy would not stop telling me how amazing it was. Quote: "I am pretty sure that was the best hand job I've ever had!"
One of the things I frequently address with clients is how crucial sexual skills are for better sex. I had another client recently tell me that he was going to take up a basics massage course in his area. I said how good it would be for he and his wife to be in a setting where specific methods are used to make the massage feel as amazing as possible. The same situation applies to a great extent in the best in sex. Those things in sex that don't follow this model are without exception made even better by adding sophisticated touch. Those that throw this out are missing out. Build and enrichening your sex life over time with your partner.
The next account is from Tara. You'll see how specifically detailed we are able to discuss how her sexual skills are improving and where they still need tweaking. For many of you reading this, it may seem very intimate to be speaking this way with someone you aren't having sex with. However, I find most people are not talking like this to their partners either! That it can be easier to get into the details with a coach figure. It gave Tara some good practice and now she feels more confident speaking this way to new partners. This level of detailed description doesn't happen with every client, but what it shows is the joy it brings people to have someone non-threatening and knowledgeable enough to go into such rich detail. They say things like, "It's so amazing to finally have someone I can talk to about these things and then grow from it and get better!" People want this level of freedom and ease with their partners. People are tired of being in the dark and forced to stay there. Ready for the real thing in sex and I'm so happy to be a source for support of that.
I always knew the possibility for such pleasure existed, but until I found Betty and Carlin's website, which unknowingly lead me to you, I had no idea how to tap into what I was feeling... I've felt a strong need for a varied, "higher level" type of self pleasure for a long time, and many years ago I figured out that I was responsible for my own orgasms, especially since my one and only attempt at "hands-on" instruction didn't take me where I knew I could go... far from it, actually.... And where I could go by my own hand, and eventually vibrator, was ohhhh soooo much better, deeper, wetter, hotter orgasmically than I'd every experienced in partner sex, up to this point.... and NOW I know that I was barely scratching the surface.
Ironically, the thought of actually allowing my future partner to watch me masturbate, which I realize will only make things hotter for us both, is such an intimidating thought outside of my fantasies. You asked if I could imagine my man behind me while I stood with clitoris taking my magic wand vibrator. Oh yeah, absolutely no problem there.... But in real life? I suppose it's just the next step after your instruction, but the reality is still intimidating.
I was always looking for different ways to come, (and come to think of it, that may have been what I was searching for when I found the D&R website), and the vibrator opened up a larger world, but it was Betty's description of her guided sex workshops for women, where everyone stood with vibrators, that gave me that idea. So I tried a few different standing positions, and today I added a different one... both legs kneeling on the couch, with body remaining basically straight from knees up. I'm enjoying the 1/2 stand so much more now, and I'm not orgasming as fast, so my standing leg became slightly fatigued last night... automatic fix, both legs kneeling on couch today..... Overall, standing brings such a different feeling to the orgasm, almost deeper feeling, but truly it's the constant areola/nipple stim style you taught me along with the clitoral stimulation that REALLY makes that work...along with my fantasy.... which has lead me to a question about hand placement with a partner, which I will write down to discuss on Sunday, among all the things you mentioned!
Lastly, your feedback about you seeing me, "turning into a sexually sophisticated woman pretty quickly" was very powerful, and when I think about it, I know I start smiling... Truly, you've given me the confidence, and more importantly to me, the drive to want to start dating again, NOW! .... and not wait until I lose the rest of the weight.... it's coming off, I'm doing well...... but with this new knowledge, whether the men I date are going to work out or not, I do feel like I'm coming from a different place, with so much more confidence than I've ever known, all because right now, with your expertise and guidance, I'm doing for myself what I've known all along was possible. Thank you, Eric, for being such a dedicated, patient and skillful teacher..... I'll leave you with this final thought.....
“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”
Tara also mentions the fear she feels of using a vibrator in front of her partner. That's a phobia I saw a lot of ten years ago. Now, more and more women are ready to try it and say they enjoy in with their partners when before, they would be shamed. Check out our videos here on D&R if this is new to you to get the idea on why its often such an effective and hot method for female orgasm during partnersex.
For those new to my blog, I write on my and others' sex life, in erotica form, because many of us need only read of an example of what really is possible in sexual pleasure. It so often lights a desire to "Want to do that. Feel that." They want to learn how to have better sex through developing their sexual sophistication maybe for the first time in their lives. I also intend to present to my readers the reality of great sex from basic to advanced to inspire them as it will. Finally, ever wonder how good the sex that your sex therapist is having in their own sex life? I have. I'm not a sex educator, nor a sex therapist. I don't do sex therapy. I'm a sex life coach. I guide, I teach, and I do.
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