Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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As I was nursing my two year old this little blurb caught my eye. I have three children and have nursed them all, I also have a pretty hot sex life with my husband (three kids go figure). I do understand well the feelings of pleasure but in the first few weeks of nursing breast feeding helps shrink your uterus,which is in my mind, an important thing. Honestly, as the nursing weeks turn into months and years I haven't noticed that nursing is a turn on. What is pretty damn hot is being a nursing mom and cumming so hard that you start to leak all over yourself and your lover. Too bad that you aren't allowed to talk about how erotic a nursing breast can be. I love having it both ways!

I was once told that a friend of a friend's breasts would weep and flow, so to speak, whenever she got really turned on while she was lactating. Would have to make sure not to go too far into a fantasy or scoping someone out in public because she'd wet her shirt. Not convenient. Very hot, yes. I have yet to experience sex with a lactating woman and I want erotic moments precisely like that and for my lover if that day comes.

Sanicula, do milk-filled breasts plus the swelling they naturally do from strong and protracted arousal feel even hotter than no-milk plus the swelling? This conversation is another great example of the erotics of a woman's body's primal and natural sexual functioning. Yes, it's extremely intimate and private for many people, but I'd rather see them embrace it than revile it. The formula companies don't need any more money then they already have. 

My partner used to leak milk when she came. And she used to let me nurse, in both sexual and non-sexual contexts... I have never tasted anything more sweet and delicious in my life. Oh, and she did not find breastfeeding our babies erotic at all. There were far too many other emotions/connections going on between her and the baby.

The husband doing erotic and non-erotic nursing is definitely proper dynamite to make people's heads explode. I totally acknowledge it. I consider it a deep form and expression of intimacy. Good feedback, anonymousdad.

the idea that my breasts, which have up until now been a great source of erotic stimulation for me, will soon have another, more primal, role to fulfill that worries me. The duality of my body is something I've come to accept and even embrace. I think what worries me more is what my partner's reaction to my breasts will be once our child is born. Will he react to them differently after seeing our child there, find them less an object of desire? Personally, I find the idea of a nursing mother who is still able to remain in touch with her sexuality something beautiful, especially if she is able to retain the eroticism of her whole body, instead of just cutting off some types of stimulation because she feels she needs to.

The place I would be toward my partner's nursing breasts is one of a so hot and sweet time where her breasts have characteristics that they won't have after she finishes breastfeeding. I'd compartmentalize her time with our baby as one very specific time and her time with sex as another. Breasts getting large from nursing, nipples getting bigger, are all hot things. I'd also embrace sexing her breasts up as a bit of a break from nursing too. It gives her variation in their role, which can be refreshing.

There are couples who create lactation outside of pregnancy for strictly erotic purposes too. There are web pages devoted to ways to make that happen. Other couples who keep her breasts lactating as long as they want after the child has been weaned for those erotics as well. I teach men that it's a their responsibility to expand his viewpoint to find new erotics to new things, however temporarily or permanently. A woman's too, for that matter. There's also the possibility that in a moment out of nowhere, he goes crazy-hot for your new boobs. :) You never know!

I have had more long, beautiful emails and facebook messages sent to me from fans and women on this special issue that I hope some will allow to be posted here. They provide a tremendously strong variety of experience to readers of women who were met with this issue or ponder it.

You are so right. It's frustrating to hear women say they won't breastfeed because it's weird... because breasts are just too sexualized and they can't even think of feeding their babies from those fun bags their partners play with. It's also annoying, on the flip side, to hear breastfeeding women, claim that breasts are solely for nursing babies and that breastfeeding doesn't feel good and that that's disgusting that some women say they get turned on while feeding their babies. Seriously? Why can't we have both if we're actually feeling both?

My baby breastfeeding never made me want to have sex with it or do naughty things *to* my baby or *with* my baby but it did feel good. Having a breast sucked is having a breast sucked -- it feels good no matter who's doing the sucking. There were times after breastfeeding I had to go take care of business -- ahem... naughty business -- but it had nothing to do with my baby. I had no feelings for my baby other than motherly love. I wished it was my partner's hand and not my own... certainly not my baby's as I was taking care of myself sexually after breastfeeding. Breastfeeding feels good for a reason -- so we'll keep doing it for the good of our own bodies and especially for the good of our babies.

While having sex with my partner, I did leak milk and not just when I came. Sometimes it was annoying because it'd get sticky but usually it was just a part of lactating sex. If I didn't feel like taking a shower after sex, I'd just wear a bra and put nursing pads in it. Mostly though, my husband liked it. He partook of the mommy milk as well.

If I had a wish, it'd be that we, as a culture, stop attaching our own opinions and biases where they don't belong to just let things be as they are and stop trying to make them "moral" or "pure" or "clean".

before I mentioned it. How the sensations of breastfeeding inspire selfloving or partnersex too as I've been told by one woman in my past.

There was, or perhaps is, a off-broadway one-woman show called Babylove that touches on topics similar to ones brought up in this comment. Although not specifically to breastfeeding and erotic breasts.

I love this comment very much, Heather. The more variation on the reality of this issue we see, from as many women as possible, the better. Thank you for your opening this up to readers.

for bringing this up! I nursed my two sons for 2.5 years each, and maintained a hot sexual relationship with my husband the entire time. Oh yes, he loved my fuller breasts , my larger, darker nipples, and my milk, both getting a mouthful during breastplay and getting squirted during sex. I loved that he loved these changes. I am multifaceted, a diamond, so it was easy to accept that my breasts can mean different things to different people. It didn't bother me in the least to feel maternal towards my sons, to nourish and comfort them with my breasts, then turn to my husband when nursing time was over and feel sexy, to turn him on with my breasts. And yes, there certainly were times when I had to masturbate after a nursing session, or ask my husband for help, and that does not mean that I had sexual thoughts about my sons. Now my sons are older, not getting mommy milk anymore, and we miss certain parts of nursing. We're both very glad to have had the experience, though.

You asked a question earlier and I don't see that anyone has answered it, so may I? "Sanicula, do milk-filled breasts plus the swelling they naturally do from strong and protracted arousal feel even hotter than no-milk plus the swelling?"

For me, the answer is yes. I was sensitized enough that the slightest touch got a strong reaction, and he loved it so much. My husband and I didn't stop there. Sometimes he'd suck enough that I'd feel the milk let-down, which for me was a very pleasant shiver from my breasts, throughout my torso. Sometimes he'd combine that with touching me elsewhere, and it was amazing.

Something else my husband would lovingly do for me was help to unplug plugged milk ducts, preventing me from getting mastitis. He'd "nurse" in whatever position we needed to in orger to get the job done. Not incredibly erotic, I know, but he saved me from a lot of discomfort!

Around a year ago, Eric blogged on breast play erotics, and although the blog was not at all about breastfeeding mothers, it prompted me to respond, annonomously at the time before I registered as a member. Here's part of my comment on his post:

"Reading this reminded me of how, during my pregnancies, I would wake up in the middle of the night totally turned on and craving, obsessing over, my husband's mouth sucking on my extra full baby ready breasts. They actually tingled at the thought. I knew he needed to be rested for work, but I would often decide to wake him anyway. In that half-sleep state of stupor, I felt more erotic, less inhibited, more selfish. I needed him at my breasts, his hands below, until I was satisfied."

My breasts were much more sensitive during my pregnancies, and even more so when breastfeed. I remember having all kinds of erotic though about my breasts at the time, transferring the ability of my breasts to nurture a baby into the the powerful feeling of satisfying my man with my body. The erotic fantasy of him needing to suckle. Isn't that a basic source female power, the ability to nurture?

Although he probably noticed I was more interested in middle-of-the-night sex during my pregnancy, I never opened up to him and tried to engage his erotic mind over the topic of my lactating breasts. And then I never did transfer that particular erotic feeling for him to my post-birth breastfeeding period. What a shame. A newborn is a challenge in the initial few months, and breastfeed can be exhausting. I could have used the benefit of the breast sensitivity, the erotics of a man at my breasts, to add a few more positive feelings at a time when there's not a whole lot of fun going on.

How wonderful that "Anonymousdad" had that all figured out!

I want to encourage "Expectantly Anonymous" to engage her partner in a discussion now, before the birth. Maybe if she and her partner can establish the hotness of her new abilities prior to birth, it will be natural for them to continue letting her breasts server to nurture their baby, and provide a special, realativly short lived erotic treat for them as couple.

Sometimes I think that women make up their minds to NOT breastfeed and use the excuse that it's erotic or the baby suckling will turn them on as a reason to not do it. I've never once thought about that in 4 1/2 straight years of breastfeeding. Because they're my children, who are being nourished by my body. Totally different than a lover touching me...the nourishment is different. If a woman never tries, she'll never know. And it's sad to think women are depriving their children of something necessary because of their own bullshit. It's not about you anymore when children become involved.

There's no reason that breasts can't be sex objects AND maternal. Women need to stop being forced into the neat little packages of Madonna or maiden. I dig wearing low cut tank tops with my girls on full and round display and then whipping out a tit for my little one to nurse. I'm not ashamed of my body no matter how I'm using it, I refuse to hide under blankets to nurse and if you want to look at my tits like sex objects every other time of the day then it won't kill you to realize that they're not just for (your) sexual gratification. Once the stigma of breastfeeding is over I think men and women will come to find sex during nursing incredibly sexy and fulfilling.

And thank you for mentioning the extreme attraction of teasing glances. I love not catching people looking, but being told by them later on that they'd been sneaking glances. I love the idea of someone finding me erotic when I'm at my unguarded normal self. I even enjoy catching glimpses of myself like that. Not everything about sex has to be in your face, I guess is what I mean.

 Breast feeding sets up your babies immune system for their lifetime. All of my friends who have a gazillion allergies or are often sickly, I ask if they were breast fed. Most say no and some don't have any idea. So from a health aspect, this issue is far more important than we realize. Thanks Eric for bringing this out in the open. I've often been on your case about being titty addicted but then you were NOT breast fed. That's one of my theories about men who didn't get any "Titty Dinner" (that's what Mother called it).

I am so unbelievably happy to have stumbled across this discussion. It was one of those moments where I didn't realise how useful a discussion on breastfeeding and erotic breast sensations would be until I read it.

I have heard many women say they won't breast feed because it will make their breasts drop down than I have heard them say it is because of the erotic issue. I can see how that could also be an issue. I have always battled with a duality of feelings about my breasts. I have very large dark nipples that I always felt were not aesthetically what "people" want in a breast. However I also have intense erotic sensitivity in my nipples and before I nursed my daughter I was able to orgasm from breast play alone. My love of orgasms overcame my culturally conditioned vanity and I love my breasts and nipples and the more I loved them the more I shared them and my sexual partners LOVED their massive response to stimulation. They're like an on button. I could be in the worst moood ever...with pms and angry with my partner but if you get to my nipples in the right way I'll jump you and smother you in nipple to get more of it.

Breastfeeding wasn't a sexual feeling for me but it was incredibly warm and fuzzy. I enjoyed the "let down" of milk feeling, as Orchid commented earlier, immensely. I produced excessive amounts of breast milk and I would drink it myself. I could lay in a bath and shoot it into my own mouth, or my partners, it would come out so fast in a high fountain. My partner enjoyed my breast milk too...and so did quite a few other people when I made their tea with it. I loved lactating and sometimes I wish I could still do it, apart from the milk leaking through my breast pads, bra and top and running down my front in rivlets on many an occassion. The intense bond I felt with my child when I was breastfeeding was physical but mental, emotional and spiritual too and my child, who is now 10, is incredibly healthy and has no alergies...surprise surprise. I think perhaps for women who find this multiplicity of breasts, sex object, erogenous zone, baby milk bar confusing and disturbing probably also find the dual role of mother and sexual woman conflicting too. There is no more abhorred woman archetype than the slutty mother. First time motherhood can be an sexual identity crisis that for many women is never resolved. It's sad but discussions like this one that bring it out in the open and get such a great response from so many woman sharing their experiences are great opportunity for women who feel conflicted to get some different more positive perspectives.

and all the hubbies and partners mentioned thus far in these comments, with his willingness to relieve your mastitis in addition to the drinking from you while I'll assume doing clitoral stimulation and more, is the model of a man that I am, and am teaching straight men to be in my work. You can be all the things you want that are of maledom, so to speak, and also bring it when it comes to the deeply intimate realities of a woman. I want to see that as part of what "makes a man out of you" in our culture at large the same as we expect women to go the extra mile for men and kids already.

I wasn't going to mention erotic suckling sex with your partner combined with clitoral stimulation, vaginal penetration, or all three and more, either, before a woman here did. To show I have proof for such dramatic assertions. Again, so want to do that one day.

What do some women here think about the premise of people never letting their milk stop with weaning, continuing it for the sake of their sexual enjoyment? Would you do that or are there practical reasons why you're finished with that part of your life?

I do acknowledge the breasts dropping phenominon. That women's breasts fully mature: nipples bigger, etc, once the babymaking process triggers them. I want to remind women that spending lots of time receiving breast stimulation and other sexual touch and erotics will cause them to full out during sex. Sort of like how penis rises to the occasion for sex. If fuller breasts are desired for sexual reasons, then there you go. Also, there are breast massage patterns designed to keep your breasts higher and denying gravity.

 I liked your response a lot too. I "met" you on some of your videos you made two years or so ago. :)

So what did you do about the many times your breasts soaked you out in public? How did you handle that? I take it the pads in yor bra helps most women with that and your experience was simply a more unique level of outpouring?

Again, these are not my words, I quote them from a fan who gave me permission to post her writings to me:

Eric I just read your post on breast stimulation and pregnancy. Probably now I think you ARE in fact man-god - not sure which planet you're from but you have an unnerving gifted understanding. First off i love your expression to 'widen your gaze' - it sums up the sexual succulent loveliness of constantly discovering more. I've had three babies and I was not an instinctive mother - but I was completely turned on by the sensations of breast feeding - it did not make me see the baby as the source of the eroticism - what it did do was hugely powerful in terms of my own perception of me as a woman - the sensation and turn on reminded me I was a woman! a great thing after one has gone thru the impersonal bodily invasion of birth and the medical system.

Every woman has a very strong view on birth - I hope my words don't offend anyone. Mine were fast and straight forward, midwife assisted but not home births, my point is that even with empathetic care, there is a real loss of personal space and privacy - you kind of feel like a probed and prodded vessel in the nicest possible way. Hospitals are clinical. It just dawned on me one day while enjoying the arousal of breastfeeding that this was sexy Mother Nature's way of centering me again. Giving me back my sensuality.

The other fantastic reference you make is over small breast response - I love you Eric - forever! Since my recent and until now, very out of character chance encounters with lovers :), I have discovered my small but perfectly formed tits are one mouthful total turn-ons! You don't know what impact that's had on my life-time of self perception! At very least I no longer contemplate filling my chest with plastic! no way - these babes are just too cute.

Enough raving on my part - keep doing what you do!

I'm really enjoying this topic. As I'm not yet a mother, let me say that I completely look forward to the day when I'm ready to have a child (or children) and can breastfeed! I find it completely exciting to go through a huge change like that, both physically and mentally. To me, pregnancy seems like another rite of passage in a woman's life - not necessarily to other people but for herself.

The most significant "firsts" are something that people remember - at least I do, I'll just speak for myself here. Besides the bond that is created with a child while breastfeeding, there's something special about being able to share that with a lover or life companion. Besides, how fun it will be to be able to shoot someone with my own breast milk!!!

Really though, I completely agree with the other breastfeeding and sexually positive women here that have given their opinions and I've enjoyed reading all of them. When/if I ever have children and can breastfeed, I hope that whomever I'm with at the time is understanding and intimately open minded and loving about my dual-enrolled-in-life breasts.

May you be like the lotus flower, rooted in
yet emerging from the murkiest of waters.

Submitted due to popular demand ;)

You make your hands into a v-shape, with the V between the third and fourth (ring) fingers. Place hands on breasts with nipple in the space created by the v, fingers pointing roughly toward center of body. On exhale, push breasts in toward center of body and up in one motion. On inhale release to starting position. Repeat 18, 27, or 36 times (Taoist important numbers). BTW, I learned this first from my friend Sibylle Preuchat, an energy and metaphysics worker and therapist who in turn learned it from Dr. Sunyatta Amen. You can find her on-line. A very dynamic naturopath, belly dancer, and teacher of Taoist sexual yoga.

Great topic. I breastfed each of my two kids for over a year each; I have to say that in this period I didn't feel particularly turned on to my sexuality, but it wasn't specifically about the breasts. I think the hormone cocktail that comes with breastfeeding somehow inhibits my sexuality. Anyway, the point I wanted to make is that AFTER all this breastfeeding, my breasts became SO much more sensitive than they ever were before!! I think the neural wiring created by the development of the let-down reflex is probably the main reason why it happened. Needless to say, VERY happy about this upshot :) My breasts did get smaller (and I was already a cup B, now A...), but hey, who cares? When it comes with the added bonus of enhanced breast sensitivity (plus of course all the wonderful things about breastfeeding for my kids and for me in my relationship with them), I think smaller breasts are really not much of a concern... What I have now (and didn't have before) is precisely what Eric describes in the post: breast stimulation totally makes me come faster (if I want to) and stronger. So here's YET another reason for not buying the bullshit about breastfeeding being bad for sex...

 that your breasts grew smaller afterward vs staying bigger or more teardrop. Thank you also for the jubilant confirmation of smaller breasts as often more sensitive and strong a combination with your orgasm. :) It's also amazing how the body sometimes creates blessings like your super-increased sensitivity out of nowhere. Thank you for the comment!

Hey Eric, aren't you saying that smaller breasts are more sensitive just to make us small-breasted women happy? :) It makes ME happy in any case... So do keep saying these great things! (And I'm referring to all the other great things you say, of course.)

Illuminating the strengths of every variation is what I love doing. ;)

my husband stimulated my clitoris, penetrated me vaginally, or both, while suckling erotically. Sorry that I didn't have the time to elaborate in my last post. And like Catarina, breast stimulation makes me orgasm faster as well, so it was simply amazing for my husband and I. Thank you Eric, for teaching this, and more. We love you for it! I hope you get the chance to do this with a very lucky lady one day.

You asked " What do some women here think about the premise of people never letting their milk stop with weaning, continuing it for the sake of their sexual enjoyment? Would you do that or are there practical reasons why you're finished with that part of your life? "

I needed to wean my two-and-a-half year old son for the health and sanity of my entire family. He was still waking up and wanted to be nursed back to sleep at least 4 times a night, despite my best efforts to get him to sleep all night in his big-boy bed. Nobody was getting enough sleep. (My son now happily sleeps all night long!) While my husband and I certainly had enjoyed my full, milky breasts, we both felt like it was time to move on to the next chapter of our lives as parents as well as lovers. It was a hard decision for us to come to, and a very bittersweet time in my life. I had nursed for five years. My right breast was becoming very sore and increasingly prone to plugged ducts, both breasts leaked at times and I was tired of nursing pads and and nursing bras.

Interestingly, though my son has been weaned for eight months and no effort has been made to keep my milk production going, I still get a little milk if I eat oatmeal. I know that oatmeal is a galactagogue, but I love it so and just can't help myself sometimes. Yesterday morning was one of those times. Last night, I was snuggling Wm * my husband* when I felt a wetness on my shirt. My right breast was leaking a little. I offered it to Wm and he took it. Afterward he commented that while he does miss my milk, he loves how wonderful my breasts are now. They are slightly smaller now that I'm not lactating, but larger than they were before our babies. My nipples and areolas are larger, expanded from nursing, still slightly darker than my pre-baby state. My breasts, especially my nipples and areolas, have retained their extra sensitivity and I still respond to the slightest touch. I can orgasm just from breast play. That is something that Wm and I discovered while I was nursing. I can happily say that this chapter of our lives is a good one, as well.

 Thank you for the reality hit, Orchid. Also thank you for showing how at least in your case, at the end of your breastfeeding time, your husband likes how your breasts look even more than how he did before or during. How they're more sensitive now. I am very interested in hearing more about what happens to you when you "orgasm just from breast play." Is it a clitoral orgasm that just happens to be triggered by breast and nipple stim? Is it pleasant uterine contractions but not clitoral based? Are those orgasms big or small? Are they deep inside? Can you describe the course that the pleasure of those orgasms take, meaning, your PC muscles involuntarily contract over and over, or tighten down, for the duration of that orgasm or is it just a superpleasurable feeling somewhere that gradually fades off with no noticible muscular activity?

Here is a site that I googled up when I looked up galactagogue. New word of the day, to be sure. I think this site is perfect for this discussion for women trying to increase milk production.