Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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Here is part two of my client Rachel's erotica, starting with my commentary and exchange we had via email after I read it. Here is the link to part one, which has the erotica she wrote in its entirety. We discuss below how her sex life coaching with me has transformed her marriage to her husband of around twenty years or more.
Amaranth: This may be the best you've written so far. Now, just step back for a
moment and look back at how you and Oren were when you werent having
this level of sex life. Before you started working with me. It seems like another life that's dead and gone,
doesn't it? Like a dream maybe? Look at what youre doing together now!
What do you think about that?!
Rachel: Dead and gone. I feel like I'm still running a bit, not quite distanced enough from it yet. I
really can't describe how odd it feels to look back and see now that I
was completely suppressing my sexuality. I had taken Oren down that
wrong headed path with me as well. It's a path that I think is
unfortunately reinforced by social norms. You know, the message that
a marriage can be strong, and should be fulfilling, without a passionate
sex life. It's was the idea that giving into sex was making me a
submissive little wife, because only men had a real need for sex.
Therefore a woman who indulged her man like that was by
default subjugating herself to
him. Working with you to explore
and develop my sexual self, what I and my body is actually capable of, has really rebalanced
our sex life, and  our marriage. So
many past mistakes, so glad they're in the past.  I still make
them....like not paying for express shipping on that great new buttplug that you suggested ;)
Amaranth: I'd love to post this as part of me putting up this latest erotica from
you, my replies etc. My reply to this is, see how the issue of only
men need sex and women don't implodes once a woman (and her
partner) understands how to create the same pleasure expectation, or
better, as the male partner? It's a profound example of a monumental problem
created by sexual ignorance and also, a bi-product of fears and situationally-negative possibilities when female sexuality gets its equal due when compared to the due given to male.
Rachel: Yes, yes, that's it!  As a group, our sexual expectations as women
are so low and our ignorance is too high when it comes to how
our sexuality works and how we have to engage it differently then our
guys do. That's where I think Betty was so helpful for me.  It was only
after resetting my expectations and my understanding of what
the physical facts around my arousal where, really owning my sex
parts, that I could benefit from all the stuff you and I have worked on
together. And I also had be be willing to communicate to Oren what I
needed from him. Retraining him if you will. I had to be willing to pull
him along and not expect him to just know what would work for me.
And

since I'm so focused on the new territory of parenting my teens these
days, everything that I'm learning about myself instantly becomes
a dilemma that I must face on what and how I want to relate to my
kids. Our culture, and especially parents with good intentions, often
focus on controlling the activities and situation our kids are in to
help them avoid their sexuality until they are "ready." It's out of
pregnancy fears, mostly I think. (I'm going to ignore the whole sex is
only OK in marriage reason since very few, if any, of the women that I
know, who went to college in the late eighties, followed that rule) So,
fear of pregnancy makes it hard for us to educate them on the basics of
how female sexual pleasure works, because we think that talking
about it would lead to experimenting, and then disaster.
So they leave
us at 17 or 18, hopefully
not having been pregnant, but definitly ignorant of how the female body
works to achieve sexual pleasure. At 18, we send them off with them
freedom and ignorance. That combo just screams: "Take advantage of me so
I have a poor experience with my early sex life. As I mature, I
will probably decide sex is not for me!" So by
18, if our kids can't even answer a simple questions on female sexual
function like, "Why is it that the majority women can
not orgasm from penetration alone?" then we can guarantee the
continuation of sexual ignorance.
-Fin

[i]For those new to my blog: I write on my and others' sex life, in erotica form, because many of us need only read of an example of what really is possible. It so often lights a desire to "Want to do that. Feel that." A want to learn how to have better sex through sex advice, sex education from a sex coach maybe for the first time in their lives. I also intend to present to my readers the reality of great sex at any level of sophistication. I'm referred by a sex therapist sometimes, but I don't do sex therapy. I'm a sex life consultant. I teach and I do.[/i]
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If you love my writing and sex advice, donate below. A portion of the donations will go to The National Women's Health Network, www.nwhn.org.
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