Give Better Oral Sex to Women: Tongue Exercises

Thu, 06/17/2010 - 16:22
Submitted by Eric Amaranth

My lover Kira and I just had her first orgasm with me via oral sex. She has a clitoris that wants a lot of direct stimulation. Right on the glans. No to the right or left of it, no avoiding direct clitoral stimulation till the end; it's straight on, rock on, and don't stop till she comes loud and proud. She told me she has a love-hate relationship with oral sex because while it feels good, even the best tongues don't have the stamina or strength to provide the required intensity level for her to reach her clitoral orgasm.

The first time we did it, it was foreplay to get her even more soaked than she already was. The second time, we stopped and did some communication about it in the moment, then moved to her preferred vibrator. Getting head gets her hard and wet, but her favorite vibe, the Mystic Wand, is her go-to combined with a hard penis moving where hard penises move best inside her. It's okay with me if that's what her body needs. I agree with my mentor, Betty Dodson, that if a vibrator is a woman's preferred form of clitoral stimulation, she shouldn't be made to feel bad or less than because that is the case. Ever. Not from anyone. If you can't handle it, walk. She'll find someone who can. You get the idea. Now, if she decides she wants to explore orgasm without a vibe, then I join in to be a part of creating that over time, for as long as she has an interest in developing it.

I'd decided to add some extra stimulation to the mix on the night the very lovely Kira came all over my face. For whatever reason, I'd not gone that route yet. Probably because our intercourse is so good that we lose it and rush ahead to that. This time I forced my hard cock to wait and her aroused pussy to take something different as an appetizer. In this case, the Fun Factory brand "Bubbles" toy. It's one of their bestsellers and among the sex toys I suggest to my sex life consulting clients. I pumped her vagina and gspot with a specific technique I teach while my firey intention and tongue joined to do their most aggressive, unrelenting below-job on her hard clit and achy-wet pussy.

Kira's pretty flat tummy went taught from arching her back from the multi-layered pleasures inside and out of her curvacous lower body. Gradually, the arches came more often till her bubble-curved, hard-yet-soft ass lifted up off the mattress just before slamming back down and bucking over and over to cope with the strength of the climaxing superpleasure in her clitoris. That high, feminine voice lost some of its sweetness and went primal, but still very femmy-- as beautiful as it was erotic. The technique I used inside her with the toy helped a great deal, she said afterwards, my head resting on her inner thigh.

Kira also said that the vibe inside, (which the Bubbles can do too) at least at the setting I used, wasn't significant enough to add to her pleasure experience. "Okay, good to know!" I said with warmth. Kira also said, "Oh, and you can go harder on my clit next time too, babe." I smiled, knowing that other people being told the same thing would devastate their egoes because they couldn't go any harder or faster. It pays to know some things about sex so that things can be put into accurate perspective. I -think- I told her at the time that was as fast as I could go. Maybe not. It did suddenly make me ask myself a "What if..." question. 

So I said to myself, I said, "Self, assuming the clitoral hood is already drawn back, you need a stronger tongue to create higher intensity tongue pleasure on her clitoris. How do we do that? Never thought of that before. We'd always utilized other stronger stimulation sources like fast moving fingers or her favorite vibrator. What if a woman who loves her vibe and can't come from tongue stimulation on her clit, but wants to? Could she get off via a stronger tongue? It is a muscle after all. We could practice tongue exercises every day while at work or reading on the subway etc, now couldn't we?"

Myself agreed wholeheartedly and suggested internet research. I looked up tongue exercises and found a kooky method where you hold a pen in your mouth and click the button in and out with your tongue. It worked, but has to provide enough resistence. Gripping the plastic with my teeth wasn't good either. Then I found the info I excerpt below from the website on speech therapy and rehab. After you read the exercises, text them to yourself so you'll have them for easy review before they're memorized. There was also a section on the webpage for tongue lengthening, which I'm sure a few people out there may be interested in as well. The link is at the bottom of this blog post. Let me know how it goes, everyone! Let's give those hot and sexy, tough-girl clits every fucking thing we've got!

The instructions say to do these once through, ten times a day:

Tongue Resistance:

 1. Tongue Push Forward

  • Stick out your tongue as far as you can.
  • Put something flat (back of a spoon or a tongue depressor) against your
    tongue. (or place tongue on alveolar ridge, the area behind your top teeth.)
  • Push against your tongue with the flat object/alveolar ridge at the same time as you
    against the flat object with your tongue
  • Hold for 1 to 2 seconds.
  • Repeat 5 times.

 2. Tongue Push Up

  • Push down on your tongue with the flat object,  while, at the same
    time, you push up with your tongue.
  • Hold 1 second.
  • Repeat 5 times.

 3. Tongue Push To The Side

  • Extend your tongue as far as possible to the corner of your mouth while
    pressing against a tongue depressor.
  • Hold for 1 second.
  • Repeat 5 times.
  • (Repeat for each side of the mouth unless instructed otherwise).

 4. Tongue Inside Push

  • Put your finger against your right cheek about 1" to the side of the
    of your mouth.
  • From the inside, push your tongue against your cheek where your finger
    is touching.  Push as hard as you can.
  • Hold it for 1 to 2 seconds.
  • Relax and Repeat 5 times for each side of the mouth unless instructed

Here's the link to the full page on the www.usc.louisiana website.


For those new to my blog: I write on my and others' sex life, in erotica form, because many of us need only read of an example of what really is possible. It so often lights a desire to "Want to do that. Feel that." A want to learn how to have better sex through sex advice and sex education, maybe for the first time in their lives. I also intend to present to my readers the reality of great sex at any level of sophistication. I partner-teach with a sex therapist and their clients sometimes, but I don't do sex therapy. I'm a sex life consultant. I teach and I do.

If you love my writing and sex tips, here's where to:

Back to Eric Amaranth's Blog

Subscribe to Eric's RSS feed

Eric Amaranth's Bio and Feature Article in Marie Claire Magazine.

Contact Eric for a consultation

To set up a consultation via phone, call 1-866-877-9676

Follow Eric Amaranth on Twitter

Join Eric Amaranth's Facebook Page

Sex life coaching and neo-male perspectives.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Work Both Ways?

Thu, 06/17/2010 - 17:07

Could women use these exercises too, to up the "swirl" quotient for a blowjob?

It's possible...

Eric Amaranth's picture
Fri, 06/18/2010 - 09:33

 Yeah most likely. Give it a try and tell me how it goes!


Wed, 06/23/2010 - 04:53
Always Tryin' (not verified)

I have a question, or two, in regards to female orgasms and squirting. It seems few women actually squirt, or ejaculate, when they come and the orgasm is more of a feeling of satisfaction with limited release.

I believe every woman CAN squirt and experience that explosive, mind blowing satisfaction of.....well, complete satisfaction, but most hold back because it is a sensation of 1) having to urinate and/or 2) a level of climax never experienced (or possibly experienced but unsure of "what" the occurrence was) or 3) with someone when it has happened and made to feel uncomfortable.

Is this a true assumption? How can a partner help to make it happen physically and assure the recipient it is perfectly natural and to let it flow (besides the fact it is extremely arousing for the person working to make it happen)?

Always Tryin'


Thu, 06/24/2010 - 10:51
Palesa (not verified)

Always Tryin' you made my day. This site, with the exception of some of Eric's posts, is highly anti-female ejaculation in my opinion. So when I saw this comment, I was so happy to find a fellow FEMjac (female ejaculator). In the dictionary ejaculate only refers to males so I will be using FEMjaculate, FEMjaculation, and FEMjac or FEMjaculator etc.

My advice to you and others who want to FEMjaculate is to stop tryin' so hard and relax. I began to be aware of my ejaculation when I was 19. I was watching Sue Johanson talk about FEMjaculation. She spoke about how women can FEMjaculate up to a liter of fluid. I was shocked, elated, and very excited to test out my new skill. As I was setting up my FEMjaculation set (oil, bath towel with trash bag underneath spread out on the bed, hand towel, and very relaxing music) I was in awe of what my female body could do. I had no doubt in my mind that I could ejaculate. All I needed was the proper set up and a calm and accepting manner towards my body. I NEVER EVER thought I am doing this to be like a man. And I do not wish to have my FEMjaculation or any other sex act compared to men OR even the experience of other women for that matter. Sharing and communicating is great, but comparing which often turns into a competition is useless to me. Now, back to that marvelous day. I should say that I had been masturbating regularly and wanting to improve my skills for years before I took on this FEMjac adventure. I did the g-spot stimulation at first which was very helpful in learning how utterly irritating g-spot stimulation is for me, and then I just went back to old faithful, my clitoris. Not  just my clitoris but a particular part of my clitoris that I identify by feeling rather than exact location. I used only manual stimulation at the time and found that with each orgasm I produces more FEMjaculate. This is still the case now when I use my vibrator. Also I've noticed when I am being watched masturbating I produce considerably more FEMjaculate. I don't try to do it, but I just become a total FEMjac show off. I find it quite beautiful. I don't care what exactly comes from my urethra when I FEMjaculate. I DO care about the beautiful feeling I get from it. We women unfortunately get too bogged down in is it pee? Is it a plane? Is it Loch Ness? Relax, who gives a shit. Our body fluids are beautiful and there for our pleasure.

Please note: I personally only require specific clitoral stimulation to FEMjaculate and while stimulating my clitoris I can feel the build up of fluid and the need to release. Also, I cannot FEMjaculate during vaginal penetration. 



Don't be afraid of yourself, live your individuality to the full ---
for the good of others. Don't copy others in order to buy fellowship,
or make convention your law. ~ Dag Hammarskjold (Markings, 1963)

Come with me.

Eric Amaranth's picture
Thu, 06/24/2010 - 13:56

 Hi Always Tryin, I have a session package now that concentrates on developing female ejaculation/squirting. I'd love to have you as a new student! Drop me an email to eric-at-dodsonandross-dot-com to schedule a consultation time for more info on pricing and the options for working and creating together.

Palesa, a luscious and clear response. :)

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.