Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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Will be starting my third day of shooting on Betty's newest erotic sex ed videos and so far, I'm very pleased. In more ways than the obvious. Yes, I am the male model in these new productions. Same as I am for Betty's finished streaming videos. I was recently counciled by advice from a marketing professional that in pursuit of my aspirations as a sex life consultant, I need to choose one of two paths. Mainstream or niche market. Further, that it will be more difficult to go mainstream if I am featured in erotic productions where I'm having sex.

I started this journey with the vision of one day being the first male adult sex education professional to arrive on the scene (to my knowledge), unconnected to a porn star or Tantra-only background, with the confidence in what he has learned and developed, in what he teaches, to get up in front of a camera and walk every last step of his talk. (Betty was the first to my knowledge with her video, Selfloving: Portrait of a Women's Sexuality Seminar.) No nameless soft core models standing in for my demos. No directing from behind the scenes. I remember when I was watching sex ed videos and it always followed the same format: a talking head of the teaching professional and then the nameless male and female models demoing the sex. I still see to this day sex education videos with missed details, bad, and so-so technique. On top of it, the disconnection between what the teachers are saying with what the models are doing. Some of the porn industry's first forays into sex ed videos are replete with that. The teacher has good content and the porn stars are doing largely whatever they want. Worse, is when it's nothing but a porn video, which in itself isn't deplorable, posing like an erotic sex ed video. I'd see watch them doing sexforms that weren't covered by the educator or are more advanced than what was covered. On one hand, I'm not denegrating all sex therapists and educators who chose not to step in front of the camera. On the other, I say it's about time.

We're filming mostly partnersex positions that show how to integrate clitoral stimulation into partnersex via manual or vibrator stimulation. However, porn beat us to it. However, how often do you see the women having real orgasms from the sex they're having? Every time? Not hardly. How many times have I seen the woman getting close and then we go straight to the come shot? From a feminist perspective, porn is still far behind in its portrayal of this reality of female sexuality. This has increased in the last few years. Here and there you'll get lucky enough to see that in mainstream porn. And, we also know that porn is not the venue to learn about how to have great sex. Porn is entertainment. I've seen some videos from kink.com which are doing some of the best jobs of integrating sex toys and real clitoral stimulation, not just momentary or for the camera. Nina Hartley's videos.  

I said to Betty and Carlin how I want to create director's cuts, of a sort, where I make commentary on key moments of the sex I'm having because even if it is a sex ed video, subtle and important pleasure details pass you by unless your attention is drawn to them. There was a scene I watched the raw footage of on Friday where it's woman on top, facing me, with the man holding the vibrator. The detail that made me pump the proverbial fist was how me and the model show how you can move the vibe gently up and down against her clitoris during fluid vaginal penetration. For my partner, that made the difference for her and sent her into orgasm. Not every woman will need or like that detail, but for those who do, or haven't tried it because it was hard to coordinate, it's there front and center. I pointed at the footage and said words to the effect of,

"Yes! Now that's good sex right there. Right there on that screen!"

Tomorrow I'll blog on my sex experiences thus far. The pleasures, the hot, and the differences with how my body and mind handles sex in the spotlight in front of an all-women production crew and when I'm with a lover.

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