Ovulation, Safe Sex & Women Feeling Horny

Wed, 01/06/2010 - 23:31
Submitted by Eric Amaranth

While working with a client last night, I told her my observation that women, as compared to men, use the term "horny" much more often. That I receive texts from lovers, past and present, with:

"I'm so horny!"

"God, I neeeed you to FUCK me!"

I don't hear men expressing spikes in sex drive. They seem most often to be in a more constant state of horny and don't peak like women seem to. What I mean by horny isn't strong sex drive determined by the availability of great sex. It's a hormonal thing that drives a woman to want to relieve the horny through a good, simple fuck. No orgasms or finesse required in this case. My fact finding shows that horny very often happens just before and on the day of ovulation. I'll bet that incidences of unsafe sex (or unsafe via no birth control method in place) happen often just before and during ovulation because the woman is least likely to be able to stay subjective and insist on condoms or other birth control methods. If she's horny, and he's hot, less likely to worry about the missing condom when it's that very time they need it most if pregnancy is to be avoided.

I was never told in sex ed class about female sex drive spiking during ovulation. They never said -anything- about female sex drive. The girls I talked to were never given a warning to be aware of their cycles and the spikes of sex drive that can happen and to have birth control ready or find fertilization-free ways to indulge the horny. With this awareness more widespread, women could feel heavy-horny and check a calendar before a night on the town or with the boyfriend, who may not be as considerate of using a condom in the heat of the moment.

My client loved my perspective and said she'd talk to her teenage daughter about it. I said, hrm... think I'll blog on that.

For those new to my blog, I write on my sex life, in erotica form,
because many of
us need only read of an example of what really is possible. It so often
lights a desire to "Want to do that. Feel that." A want to learn how to
have better sex through sex education, consulting, and coaching, maybe
for the
first time in their lives. I also intend to present to my readers the
reality of sex at any level of sophistication. I'm a sex life
consultant
. I teach and I do.

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I also heard alcohol does it too

Thu, 01/07/2010 - 00:15

Alcohol 'can boost women's sex drive'

SCIENTISTS have discovered why a Cinzano and lemonade may make women
more open to offers of a sexual nature. Relatively small amounts of
alcohol can cause a temporary surge of the male sex hormone
testosterone in women, boosting their libido.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/alcohol-can-boost-womens-sex-drive-1425970.html

Although I don't know how much the inhibition plays a part in this....

“fertilization-free ways to indulge the horny!”

ChrisOnline's picture
Thu, 01/07/2010 - 01:33

I LOVE the idea of advising women, teens especially, to find “fertilization-free ways to indulge the horny!” Sounds like the title of a book.

I for one have always experienced a BIG spike in that needy feeling around ovulation.  It’s crazy that our culture immerses our youth in all kinds of sensual/sexual media and doesn’t even come close to giving them the basics about their bodies.  How many young women know that it’s possible to fairly accurately track ovulation with mucus, cervix opening size and temperature? How many teens race to intercourse before they even know how to masturbate to climax, not to mention cum control on the boys side.

Have you ever head of KUMON? It’s a private afterschool math program parents send their kids to when public schools aren’t cutting it. Maybe we should stop holding our breaths waiting for the government to teach our teens about sex.  Someone should open a afterschool sex education program called CUMON:)

 that's very interesting.

Eric Amaranth's picture
Thu, 01/07/2010 - 15:03

 that's very interesting. First I've heard of that. I'll bet the two combo with each other, inhibition and testosterone spike. Thanks for that reply.

"Have you ever head of

Eric Amaranth's picture
Thu, 01/07/2010 - 16:46

"Have you ever head of KUMON? It’s a private afterschool math program
parents send their kids to when public schools aren’t cutting it. Maybe
we should stop holding our breaths waiting for the government to teach
our teens about sex. Someone should open a afterschool sex education
program called CUMON:)"
Cute idea, ChrisOnline, and I like your sexual awareness level.
My position on sex ed in schools is this. I believe sex ed supported by
state funds will always run up against a fight with those who believe
what we'd teach is immoral. It's taxpayer money, they pay taxes too. I
have no problem with those groups believing what they hold dear and
their needs in the community must be balanced along side of those of us
who don't share in their beliefs. If they can't have prayer in school,
then we can't have sex education on a quality level that we'd prefer.

I
think we have no choice but to rely on each parents' right to do sex ed
teaching as their beliefs reflect. Once the kids move out of the house
and they turn 18, then they can start doing their own homework. I've
heard the counter to that is, "What parents are saying isn't helping,
possibly damaging, or most often, non-existant. Or, kids don't want to
do sex talks with parents because it's too uncomfortable. We can't rely
on parents to do sex ed." There is obvious truth to that position,
however, it runs up against what I said before. Stalemate. And kids
keep having unwanted pregnancies in the meantime and STD contact. You
have to privatize it. If a parent(s) want their kids to have a more
comprehensive level of sex ed, then an outside source has to do it
funded with tuition paid by the parents. Another sticky point is what
happens when you start teaching people under 18 about sexual pleasure?
Are you breaking any laws? If not, are you contributing to the chances
of one or more of those kids starting their sex lives before they are
ready emotionally and spiritually to do so? There are some kids who are
ready and responsible and caring enough of their partners to go there
sooner than others. The hard part is knowing who is and who isn't. Or
on another level, are there those that will use the sex pleasure skills
as manipulation tools with peer lovers/partners who aren't ready for
the power of quality sexual pleasure? That's what I think people mean
when they say, "You aren't ready for sex." That sentence should say,
"You aren't ready for partnersex and the very powerful sexual pleasure,
energy, etc. that's shared there." Sex can be fantastically good, even
when it isn't honed and refined, and if something is too good, at the
wrong time or wrong circumstances, can be a hazard. That volatility of
sex pleasure is what makes the conservative mind recoil and I empathize
with that.

I heard once that a child's brain is the last thing to become fully
formed during the growth process. That things like wanting to be
popular, worrying if everyone is looking at you, teens fighting with
parents, the teen things that plague everyone is in one part lack of
experience in broader social settings and how the not yet fully
developed brain deals with life around it. That info was profound for
me when I first heard it. It probably shows some of that "They forgot
what it's like to be a kid," factor in adults. The differences in point
of view due to brain development is fascinating and I'm glad that
reality is acknowledged. Now, try telling that to your teenager. That
their brain isn't all there yet. Now what? Now they can't trust their
own minds? Here's an excellent example of a cold hard fact, a truth,
that most of us turn away from that if we didn't we may have a
different world. So, put the power of sexual pleasure into the hands of
that not quite yet fully developed brain and you have even more
volatility. When I was a teen, I had a very strong concern for no
pregnancy and also had a emotional concern for the young women I was
with that they enjoy sex and be emotionally available with me during
and after those moments. Why did I have those things? My parents'
messages and my own desires for my partner.

My example shows the
variation in possibility of teen development. It shows that for those
of us who want comprehensive sex ed in schools that there are teens
ready for it and on the other hand, as evidenced from other findings,
there are teens who are not. This stuff is a font of chaos, meaning,
the possibility for predictability is low. That's fundamentally
unsettling. It's also rife with catch-22's both social and personal. If
I were asked what I would do with my kids, my environment in raising
them would be very unique from most households due to how close I am to
sexuality as an adult.

To shorthand it, by the time they were teens and
pre-teens, they would have a ease with their parents having sex
together, and their time set aside for that already in place. They
would rather see their parents loving each other knowing things are
going well than not. I believe, and have researched, that instability
in parents frightens kids more and unsettles their trust in their
parents more than knowing they have good sex. They will also know that
before their parents were parents, they were people just like them too
and still are. I can't stress that enough.
With that already in place, it will be made calmly and soundly clear to
them what they're dealing with when they approach the reality of Sex.
Both it's positive effects on life and its destruction it can render.
They will be taught to discern and have a strong mind in the face of
the overwhelming force of lust, desire, hormones, the want to feel that
pleasure, and the body that's made available to them. Discernment. What
is happening that is a safe form of sexual exchange and what isn't and
staying clear on those things.

There would be lots more, but
discernment is huge here.
When it comes to them learning how to create sexual pleasure, as their
father teaches to adults, that's more dipping into the font of chaos. I
would tell them what I did at their age and what I held dear to steer
me through my desires and needs and responsibility to my partner(s).
That I spent time learning how to do good manual skills: good kissing,
good caressing and massage. Good oral sex skills. Awareness of where
the semen is in the sex equation. All that first, before intercourse.
Would I teach them how to kiss or what sex techniques to do? No. They
have to explore on their own like I did and on their 18th birthday,
they can ask me anything they want if they have the strength to hear it
from their father, and their mother.
It's possible that I have more to say on this huge issue, more
clarifications, but for now I'm putting the pen down. :)

Horny Ovulation Question

Thu, 01/07/2010 - 18:09

I'm male, but I have witnessed the "Horny Ovulation" phenonomen in several women, including two wives. I love it when my female partners are in the mood and activly seek sex rather than just being passive and reacting only to outside stimulation.

My question regards the "Horny Ovulation" phenonomen in women who use the pill. As i understand it, the pill prohibits ovulation. So do "pill takers" not have the "Horny Ovulation?"

Burt

Prelude to the Baby Dance

Thu, 03/18/2010 - 00:29
Chantale Reve (not verified)

The "horny ovulation" phenomenon is so true! When I'm ovulating, I know it -- usually from the change in vaginal mucus alone -- because I can feel my lips curling and snarling in a sexy way as I go about my work, errands, etc. I can't help it at that time in my cycle. And I'll say the darnedest things that will leave a man, who isn't even a partner, with his mouth hanging open. I also think, but can't prove, that my pheromones must be kicking out some strong stuff during ovulation. Sometimes I'll hear a man saying, "Damn, you're hot" under his breath as soon as I walk past him.

It's during ovulation that I've gone out without a bra and/or panties; that I've had the most intense climaxes (without intentionally evoking a sexual fantasy) whether alone or with a partner; that I've given the best head; and that I've looked my most attractive (according to self-perception -- screw what others' think).

There's a big difference between the beginning of ovulation and the end, for me. When I'm ovulating, I speak my mind instead of being passive-aggressive. When I'm PMS'ing -- about 3-5 days before Aunt Flo' -- I feel like I'm losing my mind. (If you ask me, companies don't dole out enough personal days for women to handle PMS year round.) When I was much younger, my sexy hormones during ovulation were more intense, but so was my PMS. In my 20s, when I was PMS'ing (and even cursing out the family dog), it was as if my waiting she-egg was playing hard to get, telling potential suitors to f*ck off when what she really wanted was for them to cum on and start the baby dance "ahora."

Human biology is so wild, and I am glad to be a human despite sometimes being forced to struggle against natural urges because of a need to conform with society's mores.

interesting info and a hot tip for ovulating women

Eric Amaranth's picture
Fri, 03/19/2010 - 13:28

Great reply, Chantale. I saw on a documentary recently that everything you said in your first two paragraphs are on target. They also claimed that women's waistlines narrow to make the hips seem wider and subtle shifts in how she presents herself and looks facially. Also, they showed a researcher who went to a gentlemen's club and studied the income made by the lapdancers over 5000 dances. It was very consistent that the women ovulating had big spikes in their income. Combination of those two things you mentioned: pheremone output, hotter, fearless, voracious sex drive and energy that makes them dance "harder" (given the best head, in your case) or get more into it than perhaps they normally would, all contributing to more money made.

Now, per the previous question about how birth control pills prevent ovulation and does it also prevent all the other sexy-hot effects that women get? I researched it some and couldn't find anything on that. No surprise there. If the pill does stop all that hotness, that's a damn shame. If that's true, one big advantage of the IUD for contraception
(non-hormone loaded) is a woman still releases an egg and gets all the hot sex goddess effects too. I understand that the IUD is also more reliable than the pill.

Any women want to give how they feel or what they know on this?

Now for the hot tip...

There is a toy called the Smartballs by Fun Factory. (here's the link to a great women's sexuality store, A Woman's Touch, where you can purchase the Smartballs) Try sliding it inside your ovulation-jazzed vagina and going about your fertile days. To understate it, with a constant presence jiggling softly and filling your pussy, on ovulation days as you go about town... you'll be voracious for sex that night with your partner and yourself. I say that because they may tire out before you're satisfied. For that ovulation day anyway. There's always tomorrow to look forward to. I've had women tell me who tried this that they had to masturbate during their lunch hours in a quiet bathroom, feet up on the stall, because of the powerful tease. How they tugged on the little cord that withdraws the Smartballs from your pussy while they massaged hard clit using saliva and pussy-wet. Make sure you wash your hands before indulging in some bathroom hotness. Let me know how good an idea this is in a comment to this post.

The primary purpose of the Smartballs is strengthening vaginal PC muscles. I do attest that my penis receives some incredible stimulation from a strong, toned vagina. Very strong orgasms inside her. Imagine this, then follow these simple instructions from your sex life consultant: pump your vagina, your yoni, your cunt, your pussy; tight, slippery, cock-stroking-perfect and hot, then relentlessly fuck the sperm and cum out of your man's balls and cock. Hold precisely that intention. Let ovulation fuel your assertion. Let him rest, have some fruit and water and keep him awake, because I know he has more cum for your pussy to drink deep of during round two. Or three.

If your partner is having a hard time orgasming inside you, or in general, vaginal muscularity is a wonderful addition to your pelvic health and his pleasure that can be combined with his efforts to improve his sensitivity during vaginal intercourse. Was just teaching that to a male client recently. Hey, I do my penis exercises for my lovers. Imagine what sex lives would be like if everyone took as much interest in sex organ strength and tone as their arms, thighs, butt, stomach, and pecs....

-Eric

 

Getting an Egg up With a Lap Dance

Thu, 03/25/2010 - 13:09
Chantale Reve (not verified)

Eric, wow, it was great to read that science backs up what I said at the beginning of my comment. (Sorry, I don't have comments for the Pill and IUD portions.) I just wanted to say that, given my current state of unemployment, I might need to pursue a part-time job in a gentleman's club, with my performances timed around ovulation. Thanks!

:) youre welcome, Chantale

Eric Amaranth's picture
Thu, 03/25/2010 - 17:15

 Go for it! Just have strong boundaries and give the boys your all within them. -Eric

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